Recently Diagonosed with schizotypal personality disorder

[mykdiddy]

Hi all

Firstly, I'm grateful for an on-line community where I can discuss with others familiar with whats going on with me about schizotypal disorder. Its nice to know I'm not alone. I guess what my major problem with whats going on with me is understanding what exactly is going on with me.
Ive been told to check out web MD as well as other on-line resources. Which I have. The thing is, I would really like to hear from those of you who have been living with schizotypal for years or are recently diagnosed with schizotypal as well.
I'm also frightened that this could turn into a full blown psychotic break. I'm rather fond of my mind and would hate to loose it. Something I'm sure we can all relate to. Any way, please feel free to share with me any experiences, first hand treatments, or any info you all may have on what we have in common together. Or any counseling info that might be useful

Thank you
Mykdiddy

[ASchwartz]

Hi Mykdiddy,

Welcome to our community.

You know, there is more to a person than just a diagnosis. What I mean is, what can you tell us about who you are: married, single, children or not, working or not, childhood, parents, etc. You do not need to go into detail but just a little "stuff" so we can know a little about you just to help us understand.

By the way, my understanding, as a long time psychotherapist, is that Schizotypal disorder is a Personality Disorder and not a full-blown psychosis. That means that its very different from having schizophrenia.
How does the schizotypal disorder interfere with your life?

Allan :)

[mykdiddy]

I'm in my early twenties, and I work in the arts. I also have a part time job at a restaurant. I spend a lot of time alone and have like maybe two to three friends. I would have more, but I tend to push people away.
I can't shake the feeling that everyone is judging me and looking down upon me. Like all the time. This mainly happens in social settings. Out with my girlfriend's friends or with my one "sort of" friend. It also effects me when I'm out alone running errands, on the bus, on the train, or just at the store.
I tend to drink a bit and smoke pot a bit. Just so I can chill out. I feel tremendous pressure in my field (the arts) to socialize with folks and promote my work or shows. Its a necessity. I hate it. I don't know how to talk to people or deal with social settings.
I just feel like everyone I talk to is judging me. Thinking I'm insignificant or stupid. Even people who see me walking by. I feel like I can sense the hate radiating from them. Like they think "look at this asshole walking by". Excuse my language.
I want nothing more then to just have a friend that I can hang with and talk to. I have my girlfriend and shes amazing towards me. She puts up with so much of my BS. I also seek counseling from a psychiatrist. But all of that is nothing compared to having a "solid bro".
I'm functional because I try to just disconnect. To "act" like what a person is supposed to do in these situations. Deep down, I'm cringing and feeling terrible. It all makes me want to get a lobotomy and be done with it. Just so I can function. I hope this was helpful.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Mykdiddy,

Yes, it does help.

Has it occurred to you that your suspicions that other people will hate you and judge you are really your thoughts about yourself?

More questions: please tell me if this is OK and if it is not, I will hold back from all the questions:

1. Are you in psychotherapy?
2. Do you take any medications for this?
3. Do you have brothers, sisters, what are your parents like
4. Boyfriends?
5. Most important of all, why do you dislike yourself so much?????????

Hey, you other guys out there, what do you think???