not sure what i am doing

[confused30]

I am in the process of being diagnosed at the mo. I am feeling really uncomfortable about it all. They think I have BDD but its a hard thing to explain to people who don't have it. I am also a bit flappy and constantly feel on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I don't want anyone else to feel like this, but it is a comfort to know i am not alone.

[finding my way]

:)Confused 30, you are not alone, and welcome to our community. Can you tell us a little more about yourself so we can get to know you better? How long have you been in therapy?

[confused30]

I am not in therepy yet. I have seen a specialist in OCD and BDD and I have talked to a phsyciatrist and I have to go back in 2 weeks. I have had problems from a young child and am now 30. The phsyciatrist said I am tricky as my parents provided a loving caring home to grow up in, which they did, but I did suffer bullying and humiliation amongst my peers as a child.

[finding my way]

What sorts of troubles have you been experiencing?

[confused30]

I am always nervous. I am always worried I am doing something wrong. I detest my appearance, I have a stupid balloon face with tiny features in the middle, I am fat, hairy, spotty, I have horrible hair that does not suit me no matter what I do. I have a wonky body. I am really empathetic to the point where I have burst into tears in public because I feel sorry for a passer by and then worry about them. I hate filling out forms and I can't use a post box. I have missed out on so many opportunities in my life because I have no confidence. I don't have or really want friends. I have repetative thoughts about anything. I struggle with binge eating and purging. I ware myself out and I never feel like I have grown up and I just feel like a scared little girl!

[malign]

Welcome, confused30. I'm glad you're seeking help, both here and from professionals. For one thing, it means you've recognized that you don't have to feel so bad about yourself.

Hey, if one of the worst things you can think of is that you hate to fill out forms, join the club! :-) How does one misuse a post box, though?

I think it would be interesting to ask you for a list of the good things about you, to go with this other one. I'll start: you have a real way with words. From just the word "flappy", I knew exactly what you meant about how you were feeling. I also enjoyed "wonky body"; I doubt that this is a recognized medical condition, however. ;-)

I guess my point is that it's good that you've taken the first step on the road to feeling better about yourself. You deserve it (and so does everyone else.)

[nancyannee]

welcome confused. I too am new to this site. I so feel your pain. many of your thoughts mirror mine. i avoid public places because I too feel emotions coming from everyone. I also would rather not have friends because they make life too hard for me.

I bet you are not as ugly as you think. you are probably not ugly at all. I bet you look very nice. hang in there and good luck with everything...