concerned1980
03-13-2009, 04:35 AM
Okay so Im not really sure were to start here.
My husband watches porn with shemales in it, and he has told me that one time he let another man perform oral on him I asked him if he thought he was gay or bi and he said no he was just horny....sorry not trying to be graffic just dont know how else to write it.
he still has sex with me and everthying seems normal,what do you guys think?
malign
03-13-2009, 07:51 AM
Well, I think the only person who can tell you what your husband's sexual orientation is, is your husband. And I doubt that there are nice neat categories or labels, really. People vary too much. Not just between people, but over time: some people experiment with different behaviors at some point in their lives, without changing their basic preferences.
And I don't think there is any behavior (that doesn't hurt others) that can be considered "wrong". It's just whatever the two of you agree on. So I think the first question you need to ask yourself is, what would it mean to you if some of his fantasies were different from yours? What would you be willing to accept, keeping in mind that fantasies are quite different from actions?
Clearly, though, there's another issue: you don't trust his answer, and you're asking us to overrule him. That sounds like another question to ask yourself, what's making you not trust him? But I wouldn't spend too much time on this one, by yourself. I'd suggest you talk to him, either alone or in some kind of marital counseling, to see if you two can open up to each other about this, without judgment.
BiPolarGirl
11-06-2009, 06:31 PM
Were you married when your husband had oral sex with a man....if so that makes him either bisexual, or homosexual and certainly a cheat. It doesn`t matter if his lover is a woman or a man either, if he is playing around then that is still being unfaithful and if he has done it once he will do it again.
Watching porn with shemale stars certainly suggests that he entertains a fantasy about having sex with men posing as women, but sometimes fantasies are only that. There are women who watch lesbian porn but they have no interest in becoming lesbians, rather it is suggested that they are lacking affection and intimacy from their male partners.
You must have your suspicions for a reason. For now why not insist he use condoms with you for your own sake until you can be certain about his inclinations and his behaviour. Your life could be on the line, hon and that is more important than your husband`s orientation.