How psychosis feels?

[Pandora]

Hi guys. I guess I'll just jump into the problem I'm trying to figure out. I became acutely psychotic after an unintentional cold turkey withdrawl. At first everything started to have strong odors (food, etc) and super vision. What experiences have others had in psychosis.

[leeandrew]

I had vivid hallucinations of things that could typically turn up in a dream - they were morphed into the surroundings, so if i knew a road, say, i knew where i was going, but the hallucinations would add new bits to it which i would identify as unfamiliar. Nothing was ever taken away from the environments in which i had hallucinations, but my hearing was different. It was almost muffled half the time. At the time of experiencing them i knew that they were hallucinations, i did not think that they were in any way real, but i kept having them. When i began taking medication to stop them i made the mistake of mixing them with alcohol and these were the times i suffered my most horrible ones - getting very paranoid and running home in a sweat.
I had audible hallucinations in the beginning period of my psychosis to which (as a 16 year old) i attributed the the voice of God or some higher power. This belief made me delusional and i became obsessed with religion with almost devastating consequences to my mortality. The audible hallucinations only last for 6-8 months and after i started my medication i didnt hear them that frequently again.
Psychosis also made me a perfectionist. I would always strive to do everything perfect. I used to do weights and would set out a number to achieve for example before starting exercises, if i didnt reach the number i would become severely depressed and regard myself as a failure - the next time i did the same exercise i would increase the number. This obsession with perfection was the catalyst for me tearing muscles in my legs. I also played guitar and would become aggressive if i did a wrong note or made a mistake. When i was 16 i was very violent towards my immediate family and closed myself off from them. I would stay in my bedroom all night, unable to sleep and only go downstairs for food. When we got the internet i would sleep all day and stay online all night, mostly till 8-9AM. Sometimes, quite often i wouldnt sleep in 3 days, until my body was too weak to function and forced me to sleep. I became transfixed and wouldnt eat. I had to be forced to eat and was verging on anorexic for all of my teenage years. I became so lazy and would sleep for 22 hours sometimes. I would leave the house with the door open in the middle of the night with no regard for my family's safety, and just sit in alleyways a few streets away looking at the sky.
I also wrote alot of poems and writings and did scribbles and kept diaries for over 5 years. I used to write everyday and didnt talk to anyone.

[Pandora]

Thanks so much for your response; it was very helpful in understanding what happened to me. If anybody else has any comments or experience, I'd appreciate it greatly. I had to make my last post super short because the business I was in was closing down for the day. To give more info, here it is.

I had unintentionally gone cold turkey off of Klonopin because I just didn't make it to the drug store and didn't know about the potential problems this might cause. I first started noticing that everything smelled MUCH stronger than before and that my vision was over 20/20. I started cleaning my house obsessively (ie, scrubbing [I]doors[I] within an inch of their life. I would also go into one room to get something I needed and promptly forgetting what I needed, but did find something else in that room that I needed, took that item into another room and promptly forgot what I was in there for. I forgot to eat and I don't remember if I was sleeping. My family noticed something was very wrong. I had a hugely uncomfortable shift in what my life was like, to the tune of everyone hating me so much that they had evacuated the town I lived in and other bizzare things. My brother came and took me to the hospital (thought I was going to a family party because they were so glad they had found me. Upon entering the hospital I was convinced I was about to die and that my Mom would be devistated so they would give me drugs so I wouldn't act real stressed out and make it harder on my mom. Except for people I knew, everyone's features were gastly distorded and I couldn't figure out why eveyone was so ugly. I though they were going to speed up my death with the injections, so I would squirm to get away when they came near with a syringe (which they interpreted as combative behavior. I actually kicked my mom in the chest because for a brief moment I didn't recognise her. I was put on an emergency order of detention and put in the state hospital. I've been mentally ill for 20 years but psychosis had NEVER been part of my problems. This was evidently an accute reaction to a medication withdrawl, but I was told that the symptoms were very much similar to psychosis due to other issues. I was back to "normal" in about a week. Anybody else have episodes similar to mine? Anybody know if some of the symptoms are so common they have an actual term in psychiatry?

Thanks for reading this way too long post. Have a good day!
Pandora (Pandy)

[nancyannee]

I too suffer from strong smells. this is usually the first sign I am having a major episode. I will ask my family if they smell what I am smelling....they all seem to cringe and point out, Uh oh here we go....soon I am seeing things that are not there. Hearing things nobody else can hear. mostly non threatening. only when I am really under stress or worrying about something do the voices sound menacing.

It seems like I am inside a bubble. everything seems surreal. colors are a bit off. I will stay at home not leaving for days at a time. gradually things get back to normal???if you could call it normal. I am able to ignore most of it, but lately I am so tired of pretending. my perceptions get all wacky. I relate to inanimate objects, and feel like my thoughts are affecting those around me....

my logical mind knows most of this is not real, but it is hard when it FEELS so real.