I dont know what to do...

[soundless_thoughts]

I am Genny, and i am 18 and i dont think i have been happy for more then two days at a time from the age of 9 up until now. I have been abuse in many ways for 10 years of my life, and i have a daughter that is 9 months now, and i fear that my deppresion will effect her. I feel that if i did not have my wonderful amazing daughter, i would of killed myself by now. Its getting so bad that i cant function like a normal person should, all i want to do is sleep and cry.... I lost my job acouple months ago also. I am scared, bc i think about killing myself ALOT, but i wouldnt bc i love my daughter more then anything in the world, and i wouldnt do that to her. I dont have the money to get help, and i dont know what to do...If anyone can help me get the help i need please do so!

[malign]

Genny,

I agree that with a history of abuse and thoughts of suicide, you do need to find help. Your financial situation doesn't make it any easier, but there are social services out there. I'm sure there are people here who are better equipped than I to suggest ideas for you to try. But no one else can get you the help you need, that part is up to you. I know it's hard, because the depression works against you. But you, and your baby, deserve a chance at a full life, one where fighting off the thought of dying doesn't take all your energy. I hope you find a way.

[soundless_thoughts]

This will be the first time in years i have said anything about how im feeling, and im glad i did, bc i can say that it does make me feel alil better, knowing that i can talk about how i am feeling, without being judged!

[mscat]

Hi Genny,
Welcome to our community. I am so sorry things are very difficult for you. Having a little baby and feeling depressed and crappy must be very hard on you. Making things harder, is dealing with a job loss too. Do you have family that can help support you right now? Someone you can lean on?
Your going to need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your daughter. The best way to do that is to get help for yourself. Go to your social services departmetn and apply for benifits. Low income assistance, and get on medicad, food stamps, all that good stuff. Are you on unemployment? i am a single parent, and have been unemployed before. My son is disabled, and do struggle with mental health issues too. You are not alone.
Please reach out and start to get the help you need for yourselfso you can feel better. You deserve it! If not for yourself, then do it for your precious little baby. You can do this, and get back on your feet. It could take some time, especially with what you are dealing with. It is possible though. I know it is difficult. However , with counseling, and possibly ,medication, financial support, and friends, family to help you , your going to be just fine.
Keep writing on here as well.

[kaudio]

Have you tried calling the 211 social services directory for your area? Most North American regions have a 211 service people can call to inquire about all sorts of problems. Perhaps you can try calling 211, share with them your circumstances, and get an idea of what you can do.

Welcome to the community, Genny.

[soundless_thoughts]

I want to thank you all very much for the ideas you have givin me!!!! I will write back when i have gottin a few things done. :)

[nancyannee]

Do call your 211 services. They have been very helpful to me in the past. Good luck...I hope you find the help you deserve and start to feel better in the future.