confused

[doggywolf]

Hi
Looking for some support, I have been together with my husband for 10 years now and married for 4. Things have been rocky from the start. We share a son 8 years of age. The last few months have been the worst:( He recently told me he wanted a divore, and does not want to try and fix our problems. He also told me he can't stand me anymore and wants to move on with his life. I don't know what to do??? I love him!!!! and want to work things out. He is planning on moving out soon. What do I do????

Confused

[nancyannee]

I wish I had the magic answer you needed. I have been married for 21 years and I can tell you it has been a struggle. Some men feel like unless they can "fix" everything they are a failure. sometimes they need to be reminded they don't have to fix anything. just be...if that makes sense...

what is your home life like? would he consider going to a counselor?

good luck and welcome:)

[paula]

Hi Doggywolf & welcome to our community.

This is a hard one!

Have you not considered asking your husband why he wants a divorce? You could either ask him to re-consider & state that you both go to Counciling or... You could ask him whether he is seeing anyone else?

I'm sorry I can't advise you more!

[BrainDrain43]

Thanks for sharing your life with us. You might want to check out the book "Passages, Predictable Crises of Adult Life" by Gail Sheehy. This is a great book for understanding the various stages of adult life. It deals with some of the thought processes of when we deal with things like mid life crises and so forth. You may be able to find a better way to communicate with your husband if you can better understand the way he's thinking.

Wishing you the best...