Hi all.

[Seeds]

I'll start off by listing some stuff about myself.

My screenname is "Seeds" because I am a collector of non-gmo seeds. I believe in supporting biodiversity and keeping strains of crops that aren't modified for pesticide absorption.

I'm a supporter of independent research and am looking into free energy. Not "alternative" energy, free energy. Magnetic energy, waterfuel. The information is out there. All I need is an engineering degree.

I listen to a lot of standup comedy, I listen to really mellow, really pretty music. Most people regard me as one of the nicest, most ethical people they know.

Now the water gets deeper...

I have a lot of underlying resentment toward women as a group. I think it was because of my lack of a social life when I was younger. I was rejected by almost everyone during my childhood, no exaggeration.

My parents split up when I was 3. My mother got custody and became an alcoholic until I was roughly 12. Even though she was seldom around, she never wanted my father to see me, and seldom let me see him. The custody system seems heavily biased toward women, and that might be one of the reasons I'm jaded so.

Most people don't know much of anything about my personal life. I guess I've just learned not to trust anybody, for anything, ever. I never ask for favors, I seldom give favors. I'm more than willing to help out others, but I don't ever ask for it in return. I hate the idea of relying on other people for anything, except for a few issues I have that led me to this community.

I hope this convinces you guys I'm not a spammer. Peace.

[silentmist]

Hi Seeds :D

I have an easy distrust of woman myself. I wouldn't say it's automatic but it's easily triggered. I feel that woman don't like me and seek to avoid me as much as possible. I also think I'm ugly and never get flirted with or anything like that so there is a sexual element as well. It's confusing for me because woman are individuals but yet there is a bias in me that makes me more sensitive to apparent contradictions or behaviour i perceive from people. I think I definately have some transference issues going on ... theres an article on this site about it, I found it interesting:D

I had an inattentive mother that I lived with as a child, my dad was an alcoholic who left when i was about 10. I also won't ask for favours but enjoy doing things for people, it gives a sense of connection and usefulness, relevance. As though I'm needed.

There is still a lot of sexism in our societies so it can be easy to get drawn into 'the gender agenda' and all that 'battle of the sexes' claptrap.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Seeds and welcome to our commuity.

I hope you will find lots of support from both the men and women who post here. I see that Silentmist has already responded to you and that you have some things in common, including a distrust of women. Perhaps some of our female members can help both of you with this.

What caught my attention about both of you was that you were each raised without a father from an early age. In addition, alcohol affected both of you: Seeds, you father was an alcoholic and Silent mist, your mother was an alcoholic.

Being raised without a father complicates all children but it particularly complicates things for boys. The reason I say this is that the boy has to be able to make a leap from his relationship with his mother, the person who gave birth to him and nurtured him, to seeing women as sexual companions. This is where the father becomes important. It is the father who, in many ways, helps the boy make that leap.

What I am asking each of you is this: How do you believe the absence of your father affected your life right up until today?
I would love to hear from lots of others as well.

Allan :)

[tourdelove]

Hey guys, just trying to reach out here, as a wo-man. I can understand a distrust of the other sexe, especially if you've been mistreated in some way by your mother. And also if you've had poor interactions with women in general.

I personally was in conflict with my dad during my teen years especially, but it went on until I was about 25. He drank and was very abusive verbally /emotionally and sometimes physically violent as well. He was pretty manipulative. Promising something and then taking it back, constantly, pointing out the littless flaws in all the chores he made me and my brother do... Or turning himself into a victim when we protested [mostly I protested] and try to explain that his behavior wasn't ok.

A somewhat 'strange' thing for me is that, regardless of this abuse, I don't dislike men. I guess it might be because I was raised too tough or something...it seems I am better able to bond with guys and trust guys more than girls. because I had never found a whole lot of connection with women as well, besides a few. I just found that there was so much competition between girls when I was a teen, it's like I always had to watch my back... So I find myself in a somewhat similar situation, I need to trust women more!

It's not that I perceive women as bad. I have known some really excellent women who have not done me any wrong. I know I need some work still, and expand my circle of girlfriends.

Anyway.
cheers