help with eye control

[ReedMaster]

I really can't stop looking at boobs even if they'e not attractive or anything. Anywhere I look I will look at them because I know that people will get mad when I do. This fact that they are getting mad makes it harder for me not to do it.
I would also like to add that I want to become a part of this online society and will seek help from here when needed.

[malign]

ReedMaster, I'm not sure that I see a problem here, at least from the perspective of this short post. Could you tell us more? After all, you say that you enjoy making people angry with a particular behavior, and you believe that you succeed. I could ask how you know that you've made them angry, or why you want to, but other than that, if you really like angry people, it looks like you're set.

That may sound a bit sarcastic, but in order to change a behavior, the first and most important thing you need is to want to. After that, there are lots of suggestions. So I guess I'm wondering: what do you see as the downside of your behavior, that makes you post about it?

[ASchwartz]

Hi Reedmaster,

I agree with Malign that we would like to know more about you. Of course, you are welcome to become part of our community and hope you will find support here.

It sounds a little like you want to stop "staring" but cannot stop yourself. Is this true?

Allan

[ReedMaster]

No, not staring like most people. Mine are more like quick glances, but many of these "quick glances". If I'm moving my head to look at something, and they are in the path, I will look at them with a quick glance. When I am talking to someone, I will glance at them continuously even though I know I shouldn't just because they are in looking range.

[malign]

I'm sorry; I think I misread the original post. I thought you meant that you were doing this specifically in order to make people angry. Now, I think you meant that when they do get angry, it makes it harder to stop, but that's not the original reason why you were looking.

Have you tried looking at their eyes? Thinking about them as your sister, or some other female you don't have sexual desire for, like an elderly teacher? The thing is, each and every one of them is a human being, not just a set of body parts.

I was very self-conscious as a kid, especially just after puberty. If I spoke up in any situation even remotely threatening to me, socially, I would tear up and choke up, even though I had been fine just seconds before. It's amazing what your mind can make your body do.

I think your eyes are looking where your brain is thinking, and I believe that's where you're going to have to attack this.

[ReedMaster]

It's clearly not sexual, because it's gotten so far that I do it to my family members too. As I got more conscious that I was doing it and it was annoying people, it spread all the way even to family.

[malign]

But dude, such short answers! Okay, you don't see it as sexual, and you mention anger again. What do you think it is?

You mention being conscious of it, and I think you're right, that's part of it. Whenever you see a woman, you're thinking breasts. Can you try to rewire that, so you think of something like hair, or even eyes? Instead of trying to avoid thinking about it, which only makes you think about it more.

[ReedMaster]

I'll try the rewire idea.

[malign]

Now you're just trying to annoy again. :-P
But I'm not annoyed. I hope something works for you, and I hope you'll tell us however much you need to, to get the help you want.

[ReedMaster]

It's not working, I tried really hard to do it

[silentmist]

hey reedmaster :D

What do you feel when you look at breasts ? ... do you like to look at pictures of womans breasts in a pornopraphic context ? ... how long have you had this behaviour ? ... are you thinking about anything when you look at breasts ?

I think you can relax a little though, it may be offensive to some people but it's not dangerous. Unless you get slapped of coarse lol.

[ReedMaster]

I don't feel anything... I'm not attracted to them in anyway. I only started doing it when I heard that your'e not supposed to look at them.

[finding my way]

ReedMaster, do you have other obsessions or rituals that you can't help but do? We don't diagnose on this site, but I was just wondering if you might be suffering from OCD.

If it's not that, do you feel anger toward women for some reason?

[ReedMaster]

I think I have this OCD after reading up about in on wikipedia, I have those symptoms. Is there anything I can do to stop it without seeking professional treatment?

[finding my way]

As I understand it, OCD is a mechanism to manage anxiety and order a chaotic world. A friend of mine has it. Regular exercise, positive relationships, and talking out the things that are bothering you can really help. Do you have friends you can talk to about stuff?

[malign]

There's also some good information on OCD (http://www.mentalhelp.net/poc/center_index.php?id=6) right on this site. From what I understand, OCD is not something that the patient can easily work on by themselves, because of how hard it is to bring the thoughts to consciousness by yourself. I think you should seek out a therapist to help you. But you don't have to tell anyone except the therapist about why you need therapy.