Weird dangerous feeling.

[pckhoi]

Around strangers I can't look at them normally like I always did. I feel like an alien or a mad man or something and I'm easily startled with any small movement that they make. I feel dangerous and distrust and it shows. People may misunderstand me or even fear me because of this. But when I'm doing something with people that I forgot about myself, I'm normal again. Back when I'm still okay, I started trying to be confident, looks confident, because the internet say those who are confident get girls easily. But the more I tried, the worst and the lower I felt. Until just 2 years ago, it broke out. I was with my friends and I felt like I suddenly fall into a beast den. I felt intense fear whenever I'm with people, no matter if the person was close or not. Then I immediately drop all the confidence get girl bull****, but I didn't feel immediately better. Over the years, my condition gets better, I don't feel that much fear anymore, only this symptom left. Maybe if I go out more this would go away entirely. That was long, it's nice to be part of your community.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Pckhoi,

Welcome to our community.

I am not sure I really understand your symptom. Are you saying that the fear started when it came to meeting girls and it is getting better now?

You state that you feel or used to feel dangerous. What do you mean by that: did people think you are dangerous or did you want to harm people?

Again, welcome to our community.

Allan :)

[pckhoi]

It's like an aura around me that scream "I'm nervous, I'm broken, I fear people and you should fear me as well!". My eye contact isn't natural anymore, if I try to look at a person that isn't so close when talking to him, my look can become very intense and weird, and the person become scared. Or when I walk pass someone or when people is at the side of me, I feel immense fear toward that person. And regardless of whether I tried to act normal and keep walking, doing my things or looked at them, Somehow people read my fear and got scared too. To be more specific, it's my eye movement that scare people the most and it's very disabling to me too. Some people think that I despite them or hate them because of this (while in fact I fear to be around them more like)

When this first broke out, I was swallowed by fear all the time. My mind was filled with poisonous delusions. But with time, I weed out most of those wrong ideas, and thus feel better. I keep going out and do what I do (I'm not very sociable though) so it isn't too bad, it's just hard when it come to making new friends and earning people's trust.

I didn't just feel that way toward girls, I felt that way toward everyone, close or not. But some people didn't seem to feel my fear and treat me with no difference, those include my brother, cousins and my close friends, I can always be myself with them.

Mad thoughts do come to my mind from time to time but I have never had any evil intention. though fear of mad thoughts do swallow me sometime.

And thanks for replying :).

[BiPolarGirl]

It's possible you exhibit traits from different disorders although I am not qualified to diagnose you. One is agoraphobia - a fear of open spaces which means leaving your house - it has a lot to do with socializing with other people. Another is xenophobia - a fear of strangers, typically based on stereotypes. You also sound a bit paranoid to me.

It may be that you are mentally ill, have a personality disorder, both or neither. Either way you do know that your reactions are abnormal and that you are very unhappy.

You need to get to your doctor and ask him or her to recommend a therapist, hon.

Good luck.