stepfather rejecting stepkids

[Rachael]

Hi i am a mother of three children 2 to previous marrage and one to my husband. My husband seems to be having a real hard time with getting emotionaly attached to the 2 older kids. He tells them he loves them, wants them to contact him and wants them to ask to go join in with his activieties. This is really great until the actually do make contact or ask and then he gets really withdrawn. He won't hardly talks to them, he answers in mono syllabuls to their questions or growls when they get over excited. Its like he feels withen himself that he isn't worthy of there attention so pushes them away, he then blames them for not communicating again. It seems to be a never ending cycle and he won't admit that he has a problem but it is all there fault. I just don't know how to help him anymore.

[JustTrying]

How old are the kids????

[ASchwartz]

Hi Rachael,

I am also confused about the age of the two older kids. I am confused because you mention that your husband invites them to "contact him." Are they adult or do they live with their biological father? Blended families are not easy to "blend." Can you tell us more?

Allan:confused:

[Rachael]

hi everyone thanks for the response. The two children are 12 and 14 now. My husband and i have been together since they were 5 and 3. The children now live with their father due to schooling as he is closer to a suitable school for the children, we do not have one for their age group in our area. The relationship between myself and the father is terriable and has affected the children badly and their self esteem. Their father is constantly ridiculing us in front of the children and my Husband also takes this extremely personally.