masturbation addiction

[troubled9009]

hi
m 18 and facing a really critical problem here.i want to quit masturbation as i know its not good but i feel like m addicted.its scary.never in the alst 2 years,i have been on internet without visiting a porn site n that includes both stories and images.n recently i have developed this thing for videos although fortunately my internet connection is very slow n they dun get downloaded.iv wasted countless hours on this.my studies have suffered to no return.i cant concentrate for 1 straight hour before i start masturbating.i didnt get into any college and deep down i know it is because of this cuz while every body thought that iwas working on my applications i was reading sex stories.my eye sight has suffered n i have developed a more or less consistent migrane.
i was a straight A student but for last 2 years,my highest score has been 60 percent.every body thinks that i cannot handle the pressure while only i know that i havnt been studying.even now 2moro is my final maths exam n i have been online for almost 6hrs now.my mother tries to keep a check but i copy and paste the stories on MS word n then read them late into night.
i have tried to control myself but still...
i have thrown away all the movies with anything like even a kiss.but still i get turned on even seeing kissing scenes in spider man.i know its ridiculous but i feel so helpless.
i was life n soul of parties and had so many friends that wherever i went,i had atleast one person who knew me already!i have lost all my friends.even my class mates dont share as much as smile with me.i never actually snapped at anyone or maybe i did but dont realize it.no body knows what i ve been doing but me i suppose.
I AM SICK OF MYSELF!
i even tried suicide,but at the last moment lost heart!
i cry myself to sleep almost every night.ive been getting worse ever since my parents separated and then got back together last year.

[troubled9009]

hi-please someone help!i hope the reason no one's replying is not that my problem is very wierd or 'taboed'.m already so ashamed of myself!

[malign]

No, troubled9009, there's nothing "too weird" about your problem. It's just that this is a billboard with a limited number of people reading it at any one time; you might not get a reply within the day, much less the hour. But people will read it, and will try to help.

Now, none of us may have a "cure" for you; we're more here to support each other. For many problems severe enough to post about, you might find it helpful to talk to a professional: your doctor, a therapist, and so on. Especially if you're at the point of thinking about suicide, it's important to make sure you take care of yourself.

As for your specific problem, I think pretty much everyone masturbates. There's certainly no shame in doing it. I myself was a virgin at 40 (not a point of pride, just a fact), so you know I was keeping myself busy somehow. But you seem to be a bit obsessed with it, both doing it and worrying about doing it.

I hope you find a way to talk to someone, family, therapist, whoever, because it's the shame that's driving this loop. You can certainly talk to us here. For instance, what's happening with your parents that you think might be contributing?

[rapper45]

hi there.
i was just now searching the internet for my own problem of "masturbation addiction", and found this thread for the first time. Troubled9009 i read your post and could very much relate with your problem. i too had lot of this problem and may be still passing through it.

First don't harm or criticize yourself. Believe in yourself. There is a solution to every problem. It may not be easy but it is possible to overcome this addiction. One has to take only first step and then next one at a time.

Now, many people will advice that masturbation is just natural and helps in releasing sexual desires and gives pleasure. Of course it does, but many don't understand that simple masturbation and addiction to masturbation are two very different things.

I would also say that masturbation is something that is natural to take place.
First of all you do not have to feel guilty or ashamed about it. Believe me, everybody does it. Girls, boys after there puberty have natural sexual desires and may masturbate. After all sex is by nature, that too for a good purpose of
procreation and recreation.

But surely masturbation addiction is something to worry about. Actually i appreciate you for having recognized your problem on your own. My answer may not satisfy you completely, so please visit some websites on net. do google search on "masturbation addiction". These web sites below really helped me a lot. Visit them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masturbation_addiction

http://www.sexualcontrol.com/masturbation-addiction.html
http://www.sexualcontrol.com/how-to-stop-a-masturbation-addiction-part-1.html

http://soulcurrymagazine.com/sc/the-tantra-secret-to-transcend-sex.html
http://soulcurrymagazine.com/sc/defining-meditation.html

http://soulcurrymagazine.com/sc/understand-the-science-of-sex.html
http://soulcurrymagazine.com/sc/sex-is-the-biggest-issue.html
http://krishnamurtidiscourses.blogspot.com/search/label/Jiddu%20Krishnamurti%20on%20Sex

And most of all, if you do have a close friend or someone, do share your problems and thoughts and improvements with him.

Believe in yourself. Best luck.

[David O]

bump..........

[ASchwartz]

Hi Troubled9009,

The major problem with your preoccupation with pornography and masturbation is that you are not involving your self with young women your age. Masturbation is not a substitute for real life. In some ways, your masturbation activity may serve as a substitute for or defense against being with a real woman. I do not know and my statement is only conjecture but I agree that, based on what you have written, there is a compulsiveness about what you are doing. Also, Internet porn can be very addicting. Again, the major problem is that is is not real life and what you need is involvement with a real woman in a real relationship with real and meaningful sexual behavior.

I urge you to seek psychotherapy. Clearly, you are upset about your behavior and need help. There are many good clinical psychologists or experienced licensed clinical social workers.

One more thing is to state that compulsive behavior is driven by huge anxieties. In this case the anxieties are about sexuality and that is why a real relationship is so important for you but you will need psychotherapeutic help with this, at least, that is what I believe.

Allan

[marduk]

Don't sweat the masturbation thing so much.Remember, you are a productive, caring, and intellectual person with integrity, from what I gather from what you've written.You obviously have good morals enough to know you need to get a handle on things (no pun intended).I wouldn't worry so much about the sex addiction, or porn addiction, I would concentrate on what is missing in your life.And you can bet, there is really something missing.Only you know that. I am not a psychiatrist, or psychologist, but I do have an ability to feel other people's pain, and relate. The answers? I don't know, but I do know how to make you feel better. Sit down and write everything good that there is about yourself. Read it next week. Question yourself about it, and repeat. Kind of like shampoo, rinse out the bad, and repeat. See a psychiatrist, or counselor of some type.They can teach you new ways to think.Healthy ways to think. I need one myself, and would give anything for help.

[finding my way]

not appropriate, impedikeuning.....

[malign]

Now it's as if he was never here! ;-)