would like to be a member

[stillalivenkickin]

This is an excellent forum for those of us with mental health issues. I struggle with depression and PTSD, and find much support here. Being over 50 and still hanging in there, I also have support to offer.

I'd be very interested to hear from someone who grew up with a Borderline mom.

Thanks.

[finding my way]

Hi stillalivenkickin, you are welcome here:) I hope you find the support and shared experiences you are looking for. My mom was more a narcissist. Tell us more about your experiences, and how you are doing.

[mscat]

Hi there and welcome to our community. I am interested in hearing about your how it was like growing for you. As you wrote that your mother was Borderline. Did she a a diagnoses of this disorder? and was she in treatment? How did it affect you ? did you have siblings? Did she have a hard time controlling her emotions? changing how she felt from one moment to the next and being unpredictable? or perhaps not liked being alone? Maybe depending on you kids as her emotional support?
I am sorry if those are a lot of questions, however, I too would like to here it from a different perspective. You also mentioned that you suffer from PTSD . That must be very chalenging. Can you tell us more about that? Panic attacks? anxiety ? Depression is common with all of these too. Many of us can idenify with what your going through, and can support you.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Stillalvieankickin,

What a great name you have chose and I am glad that you are "still alive and kicking." Welcome to our community and I am sure that there are plenty of people who had borderline personality disordered Moms, other had Dads and others had both.

Can you tell us a little more about yourself. I guess you had one of those borderline Moms?

Allan:)

[stillalivenkickin]

Thank you finding my way, mscat, and Allan for your replies to my post. I'll give you some background information about myself.

I have an older half-brother, two younger brothers, and a sister. My half-brother lived with his mom growing up, but I would see him every other weekend. He was a terrific big brother, and we were very close. Unfortunately after his service in Vietnam he did not stay in touch with us for many years. He lives out of state, and is battling some serious substance abuse problems. I have very little contact with my younger brothers and sister. My youngest brother has schizophrenia and is living with my mom.

My dad was an alcoholic, and I spent my life hating him. In therapy, I realized it was my mom who was the dangerous one. Both my current and previous therapist independently expressed the opinion that my mom probably suffered from BPD. She was quite cruel to me, physically and emotionally, but not to my siblings. Her emotional state was unpredictable. During my childhood she would suddenly become enraged, chasing me around the house until I was caught and beaten. She also has a history of taking in stray cats ( I am a serious cat lover), expressing concern for them, caring for them, and then killing them when they make her angry or she is tired of them. I have reason to suspect she may have tried to kill me when I was a child. I do know that at times she wanted me dead.

I quit school at 16, worked in a factory for awhile, and to make a long story short, ended up marrying an abusive, controlling older man (father figure I guess). When he died several years ago, I started getting flashbacks from my childhood and severe panic attacks at night. I couldn't sleep for months- everytime I started falling asleep, I'd jump out of bed thinking somebody was trying to kill me. I also would dissociate. Fiinally I sought the help of an excellent therapist, and have been on the road to recovery these last 3 years or so. I still have problems with depression, suicidal thoughts, and occasional dissociation, but am working full-time and making a life for myself as best I can.

I would be very interested in hearing from others who have grown up with this type of volatile mother. I loved my mom very much despite her abusive behavior. I suppose this is common. Unfortuately, I'm allowing her to continue to be a part of my life (though I've since moved halfway across the country). She calls and manages to upset me, but I don't want to hurt her feelings by asking her not to call anymore! How weird is that!

Anyway, thanks all for "listening".

[mscat]

You have had a interesting childhood ;( I am still trying to figure out why these professionals felt that your mother had BPD? to me that just does not seem to fit:confused: Was she a drinker? IMO, i'd would assume more along the lines as a sociopath. Or antisocial Personality Disorder. Anyway, I am ery, very sorry that you suffered at the hands of your mother :( I have heard this before where one child is singled out in the family and is "targeted" for horrible abuse :mad: It is sickening.
What do you do for work?