Lost

[Justin]

I believe i posted this in the wrong place the first time.

70 and up Adult ADD/ADHD
50 - 69 Moderate ADD
35 - 49 Mild ADD
25 - 34 Borderline ADD
0 - 24 No ADD/ADHD Likely
You scored a total of 109.


Score Interpretation
54 and up Severely Depressed
36 - 53 Moderate - Severe
22 - 35 Mild - Moderate
18 - 21 Borderline depression
10 - 17 Possibly Mildly Depressed
0 - 9 No Depression Likely

You scored a total of 78.



I'm 27 years old, hold down a stead job, how can anyone in my everyday life not notice this, especially family. Nobody have every said anything to me. i had to grow up and realize i have these problems all on my own...i just had a kid she's 4 months old this month. I don't ever want her to know the person i have let myself become. I am so shame, trust nobody, keep everything inside or open up to the wrong people when things get to much and the seal breaks. Childhood trama keeps playin in my head like a broken record....It effects my everyday mood. I'm either extremely happy, gitty even or deeply sad any any given time. I hate the person starin back in the mirror. about 5 years go i almost took my life, only thing that stoped me was the image in my hear of the grief i would cause to the once who love me.

I have no life, i got to work, come home and glue myself to the computer. I can't hold up a convo, and avoid interaction with people at all costs. I really don't know how i work 40 hours a week but i do. My job is highly stressful...i fear there's no more room to stuff all these problems and many more that i havent' mentioned. The though of bein a victim and bein look @ like a victim is unbearing to me. I can't bring myself to seek the help i need. I just want to be normal.

I got a drug problem that i ain't tendin to cuz i got a nerve problem and my solution is to stuff problems.

I'm a heavy smoker, pothead cabitable of quitin have don't it for years @ a time. Cig, whenever i don't have one lite i'm craving

[finding my way]

Justin, welcome to our community. I'm so sorry your post got lost, and you had to post again.:( You are dealing with a very heavy load for sure. Way too much!!! Is there insurance with your job? Can you see a therapist??? You need some help so you can start feeling better. Reaching out here is a definite begining. Some people get relief just writing out what is bothering them. Feel free to continue doing that here. If at all possible, look into seeing a professional also. :o Many of us here are in therapy.

[Justin]

Tks for ur time Finding My Way...I read what i have wrote down here and it's doesn't serve entirely accurate has to what's really goin on in my head. I think that's one of my biggest problems that what i am feelin thinkin or whatever is goin on in my head i struggle to get it out. Lack of education i supose or who knows. The other major problem, is my pobia of crowds, people, 1 on 1 even, i can't shake it and i look back and can see that it's gettin worst and worst each day. I never fail a grade in my life, but in literature or language class when ever it was time for oral persentations, i either didn't show up, or too a 0 grade. When teachers would try to force me i would raise hell. In my opinion they should of pushed harder, i was a kid and needed to to be displincined. Out of control children need to be controled the most. A tandrum is just a desprate cry for help even if that person doen't see it at that time. If we have nobody to to challenge us and get down and dirty with us than i belive most don't ever chance for the better they stay stuck...Lucky for some drastictic change in not a necessary.

[finding my way]

My guess is that expressing yourself got you into painful trouble in the deep dark past. Doesn't mean you have to stay clammed up now, though. I know it's painful, but can you tell us more about what is bothering you? Be patient with yourself. It takes a while to turn things around, but it can happen for you, and you can get to a point of feeling better.:o