tantrums

[taraselfkiller]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"]hello... i am very new to this place and i need help. this all started when I was a kid. i suffer of under-active tyroid infact i take eltroxin 259 mg today. i am 22 year old female that when I was a child I suffered of rejection and still do, parents over-protected me enough not to socialise with other kids. so today i hate being around people, anyway i was soooo rejected of who I was and what I was, that eve the teachers , their solution was IGNORE HER. so I was having private lessons help and I loved it few people and more to learn. ....... growing up i got worst no friends and hated to go out more like scared. the kids bullied me at school, and outside, i were to go with mum and dad to aunt joan ( mum's sister) i was or bullied or rejected by rodianne one of her kids.

i started secondry school ok i had a hell of a time to make friends then till i met jessica, classmate, michelle, 4 years advanced than me and maali a beautiful tunisian girl whom i have a great heart for her. although i lost contact with her dunno why.

I use to have very small tantrums and then i start to eat eat eat, then i started with drinking alcohol in secret.

Mum and dad when they have tantrums, they yell, swear so loud that even neighbours hear them :( sometimes or mostly they have a go on me.

I started to steal money again from mum n dad. what can I say dad suffers with sugar blood, high blood pressure and likes to attack me when he is in a bad mood, but I do worst. after having one of the greatest tantrums and gave dad a nasty time, the sugar goes high/low, and blood pressure hiiiiiiiggggh I start to cry, shaking, accuse myself and punish myself physically. love to swallow pills alcohol, and cuttin myself. i need to put this at stop. why i cannot control?

[paula]

Hi taraselfkiller & welcome to our community


I started to steal money again from mum n dad. what can I say dad suffers with sugar blood, high blood pressure and likes to attack me when he is in a bad mood, but I do worst. after having one of the greatest tantrums and gave dad a nasty time, the sugar goes high/low, and blood pressure hiiiiiiiggggh I start to cry, shaking, accuse myself and punish myself physically. love to swallow pills alcohol, and cuttin myself. i need to put this at stop. why i cannot control?

IMOP, I think that all you want is to be loved? Loved for you & no-one else!

This is your mental way of your body crying out for help! You need to see your doctor and explain this to him. He will refer you on to the adequate help that you need! Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Therapist etc. These sort of people will try to help you as best they can, to help you try and deal with this situation!

I'm sorry I couldn't be of more assistance!

[mscat]

"Why I can't control?" this is a question I feel you need to ask yourself. I was a little confused in your post. The tantrums, does your parents have them, or do you have them? When you wrote , your father attacks you, what specificaly does he do to you? I am assuming your living at home? Do you have any brothers or sisters?
When you were a child you were a victim of bullies, and than were overprotected by your parents. Next, it was very difficult for you to make friends when you became older, because you did not have the social skills taught at a earlier age to make those friends. So I am certain it must have been very hard on you.
Your fathers health problems did not help matters one bit! They made things very bad for you. I think the stealing of money from your parents was your way of getting back at them and also gaining some kind of control over them too.
However, in the long run, you started taking all these things back on yourself just to cope with everything that had happend. Thus, the overeating, drinking, and self harming.
Professional help would help you sort out all these things that you are struggling with. You have been through so much. Therapy is a wonderful way to talk about these things, and you can trust this person you talk to.

[taraselfkiller]

I am seeking my psychiatrist help and now i am searching social skill professional skilled person who make in group work that I really scared of as i dont have any idea how it works but i am still gonna try it. as for cure he is givin me paxetin and risperdal. half pax pill and half ris pill.i also not good in relationships. neighter in sex, as i am so afriad i am going to be used and thrown away like a rotten fish or old baseball glove that is thorn. but unfortunatley that what had happened to me in summer till december.

Summer till december was up and down with this guy. I thought I know him well after 2 years and a half knowing him. No Way !!!!!!

Sharon my best friend and Yanika a girl I dont talk at all these months told me about S. and still I liked him so much so strong was my feeling about him that I listened but ignored. He played with me like touching him is ok but not touching me at all, was far away from my suspicion. then I saw nip n tuck, i and a guy having intercourse with a woman and not kissing not even on the lips its like she is his B***** and I said Wait !!! Am I his sex toy? oh my hell yes if I am.

I thought Its all my fault that i have pretended so much. and it is. I should have cared of what they told me about him. true that he gave me sexual experience in certain things but Was in time not to let him taking off my V as I want it more special although I am sceptic that a guy will love me very much for who I AM and make love

[ilovemycats]

During my college years I started having one night stands and friends with benefits relationships. Everytime I slept with a man I thought that I was 'falling in love.' I realized that I used sex to get attention from the opposite sex and to prove my self worth (to my self). I ended up seeing a relationship counselor to deal with my self esteem issues. It was really helpful. I learned to be in healthy relationships. I even ended up meeting my future husband soon after.

Perhaps you are dealing with self esteem issues as well. They say, and I agree, that you can't be truely loved or love until you love yourself. I found that taking a step back from dating and sex to find out what I truely wanted out of life was important to my 'self-recovery.' I learned to put my health and happiness first.

Best Wishes:)

[mscat]

I am very glad you are seeking a psychatrist help. Are you in therapy too? I believe this is very important in helping anyone feel better and recovering from deep issues a person is having. The drinking a self harming are all ways of coping. I can idenify personally with that. keep writing about theway your feeling. Do you know what is triggering these feelings inside of you? Is it relationship issues? anger? someone saying something hurtful? or maybe doing poorly in school? Many things can trigger a person into needing to turn to drink steal, or self harm. Have you thought of some reasons that pertain to you?
Everybody is different , however your not alone when it comes to doing the things you do to yourself as a means to dealing with stress.