QuigiboGal
04-06-2009, 09:14 AM
Hi everyone -
Fellow newbie here with an issue. It hasn't directly affected me until now, and currently it is hurting me greatly. I hope others can provide some advice on this.
I have been seeing a guy for four months now, and his ex has come into the picture for the second time (they were best of friends) and is controlling him. When they were together, she demanded he not contact friends via phone or email, thus frustrating those folks.
As of late, he asked her to move the last of her things out of his house a few weeks back. She moved part of her stuff, went off to training out of state, came back and dug her heels in on moving everything else out. Needless to say, this upset him (he told me) as well as I. However, she then proceeded to demand that she stay with him again for two weeks until she goes back to her job overseas, where she stays for months at a time. She would rather put her ex in misery (his quote) than take responsibility for herself and rent a room near her local job.
He told me he was furious when she requested this, but he let her do it! She gets his key back that they fought furiously over, and now neither I nor any of our mutual friends can contact him. What am I to do? We have upcoming plans with our buddies, and his hands are tied because of his EX?!
This is in no way meant to be demeaning, but I do believe she needs ALOT assistance with her issues, as she is possessive with my boyfriend and likely has low self esteem. I think my boyfriend needs help too, as he must have co-dependant problems, and he must be extraordinarily lonely to let her anywhere near him. If I could move out of my current place (apartment) I would to be with him, but financially right now I can't afford to do so. Right now I can only stand by on the sidelines with our buddies, and hope he comes out of this alright, and not brainwashed.
What bothers me about this situation and my reaction is that I am so angry and downtrodden. I am one of the token optimists in my groups of friends, and this has taken me on a 180 degree turn very quickly. I'm forcing myself to not say anything nasty to her via email, myspace or other venues I have seen her on (and she is gleefully admitting her actions there), but at the same time I wish I COULD say something. She's ruining people's lives here...doesn't she get that?!
Fellow newbie here with an issue. It hasn't directly affected me until now, and currently it is hurting me greatly. I hope others can provide some advice on this.
I have been seeing a guy for four months now, and his ex has come into the picture for the second time (they were best of friends) and is controlling him. When they were together, she demanded he not contact friends via phone or email, thus frustrating those folks.
As of late, he asked her to move the last of her things out of his house a few weeks back. She moved part of her stuff, went off to training out of state, came back and dug her heels in on moving everything else out. Needless to say, this upset him (he told me) as well as I. However, she then proceeded to demand that she stay with him again for two weeks until she goes back to her job overseas, where she stays for months at a time. She would rather put her ex in misery (his quote) than take responsibility for herself and rent a room near her local job.
He told me he was furious when she requested this, but he let her do it! She gets his key back that they fought furiously over, and now neither I nor any of our mutual friends can contact him. What am I to do? We have upcoming plans with our buddies, and his hands are tied because of his EX?!
This is in no way meant to be demeaning, but I do believe she needs ALOT assistance with her issues, as she is possessive with my boyfriend and likely has low self esteem. I think my boyfriend needs help too, as he must have co-dependant problems, and he must be extraordinarily lonely to let her anywhere near him. If I could move out of my current place (apartment) I would to be with him, but financially right now I can't afford to do so. Right now I can only stand by on the sidelines with our buddies, and hope he comes out of this alright, and not brainwashed.
What bothers me about this situation and my reaction is that I am so angry and downtrodden. I am one of the token optimists in my groups of friends, and this has taken me on a 180 degree turn very quickly. I'm forcing myself to not say anything nasty to her via email, myspace or other venues I have seen her on (and she is gleefully admitting her actions there), but at the same time I wish I COULD say something. She's ruining people's lives here...doesn't she get that?!