Pleasehelp

[pleasehelp]

My boyfriend who just broke up with me is bipolar. He is completely controlled by his parents emotionally and monetarily. We were completely in love a week ago, but he broke up with me last week cause he couldn't deal with his parents and the reality of responsibility. I told him that I was here to help him and that we would be fine and he agreed to try to stand up to them.

I left on Monday morning and by that night he told me that he thought me and my father were/are having sex. Nothing I say will change his mind. He has taken everything I have ever said about normal every day occurences for the last 15 years and lumped them together and is convinced that I am being sexually abused. He said that no matter what I say he will not believe me.

This is the most horrible and untrue thing that anybody has ever said to me.
I know that he has manifested every concern that he has about life and dumped it into this horrible story in his head. He won't see me because he thinks I want to kill him. The irony of this whole story is that I am the nicest and most stable girlfriend he has ever had.

I guess our relationship is over, but is there anything I can do to make him realize that he is completely wrong?

Thank you so much. Any suggestions would be great!

[BrainDrain43]

Dear PleasHelp,

Please keep in mind that these various psychological conditions often cover up the real person we are inside. The way he's treating you hurts very much. However, in his heart of hearts he probably has no ill feeling toward you whatsoever.

If what you say about his parent's domination of him is true, it's probably a good idea that you yield some space in the relationship. In my life's experiences, I've found that those things have a way of working themselves to a head, so to speak. In other words, he won't be happy with that arrangement forever. Something will break! He will either realize how unhappy he is being dominated by his parents and change his situation or he will turn on himself even more. Few of the possible scenarios look good for your relationship.

I would recommend, if you still wish to be involved in any way, that you concentrate on being a good friend. Become knowledgeable on his condition and perhaps you may find ways to help him cope. But do it at arm's length.

To steal a quote from the bible: Love believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.