Devastated....

[butterfly29]

My H told me tonight that if he knew we were so different he would not have married me. The difference he speaks of is our Values. I knew something was wrong. My gut told me along with his lack of affection and love. What matters most to him in life is money and having nice things. Everything else including myself comes last. I on the other hand like to have nice things and know to be able to have them we need money. No problem. The difference is I believe that if we have any money that isn't going to a certain thing we should help those who are in real need (if we know of anyone). Example: My son and his wife are having some struggles financially. Although he never asked for a penny I asked my H if we could give them $20 to help with groceries. He said no. He does this to everyone. He has never just given money to someone to help them unless they pay it back. Large amounts I can see his point but I don't see his point in situations like this. I see giving is showing compassion and love. And I know that is what God wants us to do.

So, to find out he never would have married me if he knew how different we are really upsets me. We dated 5 yrs before we were married. How could he not know?

Him feeling this way makes everything he has to me and the things he says to me all come together. It all makes sense. He says he loves me but I know what love looks like, sounds like and feels like. He doesn't love me. At least nothing like he used to before we married.

What do I do? :confused: :(

[paula]

Hi butterfly29


Him feeling this way makes everything he has to me and the things he says to me all come together. It all makes sense. He says he loves me but I know what love looks like, sounds like and feels like. He doesn't love me. At least nothing like he used to before we married.

Surely he could not feel this way to your own son? Maybe, he is thinking that if you run to your sons rescue now, that he could rely on you in the future, yet again when he faces more financial situations?

Could you not have a talk to your H, asking him to explain 'what has changed in his eyes towards your relationship?' Your H is probably thinking that charity begins at home, which it does! But when it involves your own offspring, that to me, is what your role of being a parent involves!

I really think that you & your H need to sit down & talk about this!