tracey.f
05-09-2009, 10:54 PM
:eek:
I JUST WONDERED IF I WAS ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM IN THE PAST!
I'M NOT PROUD OF THIS AND THIS WAS A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO AND IT HASN'T HAPPENED IN A LONG WHILE NOW BUT IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME THAT THIS HAD HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE. A COMPULSION ,I RARELY SPENT MONEY ON MYSELF THOUGH!
I HAVE A CUPBOARD FULL OF POWER TOOLS,I WOULDN'T MIND IF I WAS A DIY FANATIC, THEY HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN USED. I WAS JUST CONVINCED AT THE TIME THAT JUST INCASE WE NEEDED THEM OR SOMEONE I KNEW DID. IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO BETTER BUY THEM. AT ONE TIME MY KIDS COULD HAVE CHANGED CLOTHES TWICE A DAY FOR PROBABLY 3 WEEKS BEFORE WE NEEDED TO WASH AND IRON ANY!
IT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME NOW, ESPACIALLY ABOUT POWER TOOLS, MY HUSBAND LAUGHS ABOUT IT. HE IS USELESS AT DIY,HE SAYS I FRIGHTENED THE LIFE OUT OF HIM. HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE HIM DOING A LOAD OF STUFF AROUND THE HOUSE, THIS FROM THE MAN THAT PUT UP A SHELF, WHICH STAYED UP FOR EXACTLY 2 DAYS BEFORE IT FELL OFF THE WALL!!
OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS ALWAYS BUYING OTHER PEOPLE THINGS, I WANTED TO HELP THEM OR DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR THEM. A CRIB FOR MY FRIEND WHO WAS EXPECTING A BABY,SOME BABY CLOTHES. A LOT OF OTHER GIFTS FOR OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.
PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTAND ME, I WAS NEVER TRYING TO BUY THEM. WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT NOW, I THINK I WAS TRYING TO MAKE EVERYBODY AS HAPPY AND EXCITED ABOUT LIFE AS I WAS AT THE TIME. THAT PROBABLY MAKES NO SENSE TO YOU!
I NOW KNOW WHEN TO AVOID SHOPPING,LEAVE MY BANKCARDS AT HOME WHEN I'M MANIC! IT WAS ONLY AFTER I WAS DIAGNOSED THAT EXPLAINED IT WAS PART OF MY ILLNESS,FOR ME ANYWAY!
I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THAT,I GUESS I STILL FEEL GUILT OVER SOME THINGS IN MY PAST.
I JUST WONDERED IF I WAS ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM IN THE PAST!
I'M NOT PROUD OF THIS AND THIS WAS A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO AND IT HASN'T HAPPENED IN A LONG WHILE NOW BUT IT WASN'T THE FIRST TIME THAT THIS HAD HAPPENED TO ME IN MY LIFE. A COMPULSION ,I RARELY SPENT MONEY ON MYSELF THOUGH!
I HAVE A CUPBOARD FULL OF POWER TOOLS,I WOULDN'T MIND IF I WAS A DIY FANATIC, THEY HAVEN'T REALLY BEEN USED. I WAS JUST CONVINCED AT THE TIME THAT JUST INCASE WE NEEDED THEM OR SOMEONE I KNEW DID. IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA TO BETTER BUY THEM. AT ONE TIME MY KIDS COULD HAVE CHANGED CLOTHES TWICE A DAY FOR PROBABLY 3 WEEKS BEFORE WE NEEDED TO WASH AND IRON ANY!
IT MAKES NO SENSE TO ME NOW, ESPACIALLY ABOUT POWER TOOLS, MY HUSBAND LAUGHS ABOUT IT. HE IS USELESS AT DIY,HE SAYS I FRIGHTENED THE LIFE OUT OF HIM. HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO HAVE HIM DOING A LOAD OF STUFF AROUND THE HOUSE, THIS FROM THE MAN THAT PUT UP A SHELF, WHICH STAYED UP FOR EXACTLY 2 DAYS BEFORE IT FELL OFF THE WALL!!
OTHER THAN THAT IT WAS ALWAYS BUYING OTHER PEOPLE THINGS, I WANTED TO HELP THEM OR DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR THEM. A CRIB FOR MY FRIEND WHO WAS EXPECTING A BABY,SOME BABY CLOTHES. A LOT OF OTHER GIFTS FOR OTHER PEOPLE IN MY LIFE.
PLEASE DON'T MISUNDERSTAND ME, I WAS NEVER TRYING TO BUY THEM. WHEN I THINK ABOUT IT NOW, I THINK I WAS TRYING TO MAKE EVERYBODY AS HAPPY AND EXCITED ABOUT LIFE AS I WAS AT THE TIME. THAT PROBABLY MAKES NO SENSE TO YOU!
I NOW KNOW WHEN TO AVOID SHOPPING,LEAVE MY BANKCARDS AT HOME WHEN I'M MANIC! IT WAS ONLY AFTER I WAS DIAGNOSED THAT EXPLAINED IT WAS PART OF MY ILLNESS,FOR ME ANYWAY!
I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THAT,I GUESS I STILL FEEL GUILT OVER SOME THINGS IN MY PAST.