keep on trying

[karig]

Ok I am trying again for the third nite. I dont know what the problem was but it was very frustrating. So heres hoping.
Keep on trying is the motto. Although some times I really dont feel like it.
The grief has hit full force now. All I have to do is look at his picture and want to cry. I am so lost without him. I feel like an empty shell. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, get out every day, connect with friends and family. I allow myself to experience the emotion. I just want it to go away. I dont want to hurt anymore and I'm tired of crying.
I have no interest in every day things like housework. My appetite is almost gone and sleep is a joke. I wake up feeling like I didnt even sleep. I just go through the days, existing.
I try not to be angry at his sister but I kind of resent the fact that she has completely put it behind her and has gone on with her busy life. She talks about him without crying at all.
There are so many triggers in every day life. He used to do things like take out the garbage that now I do and think of him every time. There seems to be no escape. I miss him so much.
I realize it takes time but my heart isnt listening to my brain.
And I have no shoulder to cry on, which I could really use sometimes. Just me.
I just keep on trying.

[malign]

Hi karig,

You're getting through, don't worry. I'm sorry it's been so rough on you. But I can definitely see how looking at his picture would be pretty difficult right now. You're still grieving and you're setting the standard pretty high for yourself.

Do you have any family of your own? Any support groups you can turn to? Any possibility of grief counseling, or something like that? I think you're right, that you need some real humans around to help you through this.