Pathetic!

[karai]

I've been reading some of my old posts--and boy, do I sound pathetic!:mad:
I've been a member of this site for about 2 months now and I still haven't "grown" much, it seems. Oh, I have learned a lot and you've all given me that push to start therapy, but you'd think after 2 months, I wouldn't be so helpless. I've had 3 sessions of therapy and feel I'm going nowhere fast--all because I can't open my big, fat mouth and say what I really feel. See, here I go being pathetic about being pathetic!!! Witness the YUKKY me, people! Do others feel this way too? :confused:

[malign]

Oh, please, kara. Just the fact that you can see that your old posts feel different from the way you feel now means that you've grown already!

As for "pathetic" or "needy" -- we all have needs, and when they're not met, they build up. There's no shame in that. So, okay, eventually you'd like your needs not to be so visible. Okay, that's a goal. But there's no reason to kick yourself until you reach it.

Sure, when we're depressed, we all feel, well, yukky and helpless and a burden to others. Just because we feel it doesn't mean it's true.

[karai]

Hi malign,
Good to hear from you! Actually, what I am feeling so pathetic about is that I see no change in my thinking nowadays, compared to what I was thinking in those old posts--well, maybe a smidgen more of awareness, but otherwise the same ol' feelings. My yukky feeling is something I can't explain. It usually makes me feel like crying, and sometimes I even know what brings it on. It actually is very true and real to me and I guess I have to learn to deal with this 'yukkiness'. What makes it so pathetic is that I haven't learned to deal with these same old feelings yet. This makes me desperate since sometimes it stays with me for several days. Yuk! Thanks for your thoughts. Take care.

[smallstar]

Hi Karai, You know I think you may be rushing things a bit. I mean you may have been in this site for a couple months, but you said you've only had 3 appointments with your therapist? I don't think that is much at all. Give yourself some time to learn. Your therapist is probably teaching you skills to be able to cope on your own eventually without feeling so "yukky" as you say. I completely understand why you are not feeling patient, you know what you want and are trying hard to get there. Just don't get discouraged, you will get there, you are putting forth the effort and I think as long as you remain dedicated that you will start to feel the progress.

[karai]

Hi smallstar,
I guess, because I see my therapist only every other week, days-wise it's been a long time with nothing to really show for it that I can see. I guess I'm just anxious to see some results. Thank you for the encouragement.