karig
05-20-2009, 11:15 AM
Well I picked a good title today! I have been wondering if I'm menopausal! I can be grouchy, happy, sad and angry all in one day; in a matter of hours. Heck maybe I've become bipolar, a step up from my depression. I'm finding I'm not as patient with people as I used to be as well.
It's a struggle to function now. I have to force myself to do anything. Including going out with my beloved grandsons! Sometimes I just want to curl up into a ball and stay there. And now my big mouth has volunteered me to go to visit my mother for 3 days!! I dont want to go but its too late now. She's counting on me because she has a funeral to attend and I volunteered to go with her for support. I just want to bite my tongue off! haha
But the good news is I've finally managed to talk my doctor into a mild sleep aid. For 2 days now I've actually woken up at a more normal time!! Yay! Now if I can get my butt off the computer before noon I'll be happenin'! But the depression whispers "what for? got somethin' better to do?" Nope, I answer. And if I dont keep my mind busy instantly its all there and sometimes it's overwhelming. I am tired of hurting and crying. It seems like its all I've done since december. I just want it to go away.
It's a struggle to function now. I have to force myself to do anything. Including going out with my beloved grandsons! Sometimes I just want to curl up into a ball and stay there. And now my big mouth has volunteered me to go to visit my mother for 3 days!! I dont want to go but its too late now. She's counting on me because she has a funeral to attend and I volunteered to go with her for support. I just want to bite my tongue off! haha
But the good news is I've finally managed to talk my doctor into a mild sleep aid. For 2 days now I've actually woken up at a more normal time!! Yay! Now if I can get my butt off the computer before noon I'll be happenin'! But the depression whispers "what for? got somethin' better to do?" Nope, I answer. And if I dont keep my mind busy instantly its all there and sometimes it's overwhelming. I am tired of hurting and crying. It seems like its all I've done since december. I just want it to go away.