Coping Methods?

[smallstar]

I am interested in learning some coping skills. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what they do when feeling emotionally challenged? Maybe I am missing some of these skills cause I seem to be having trouble coping with life lately. I am probably just being needy but this is how I feel none the less, so maybe someone can share with me what they do?

[Proverbs31:28]

Coping skills work differently for each person. What works for me may not work for you, so, you may have to try several before finding something that works. For instance, my DS has anxiety attacks related to medical treatment and he responds very well to guided imagery. Guided imagery for me, however, is useless as my mind starts wondering!

It really depends on what you mean by "emotionally challenged" as to what specific coping skills I might suggest. For anxiety, deep breathing is a common suggestion. Basically, you take a deep breath in through the mouth and breathe out very slowly through your nose, paying attention to your breath. This one is good because it can be done in public places without anyone noticing. For obsessive thoughts, you can put a rubber band on your wrist and lightly "pop" it when you start having obsessive thoughts.

I know I'm not much help but if you could share a little more information about your diagnosis and the particular issues you are looking to cope with, I think you'll get more responses! :)

[smallstar]

Hi Proverbs, yeah I guess it is different for everyone, I don't know, I guess what I was talking about was how to pull yourself out when you can feel that you are getting lower and lower. That was yesterday and as the day went on I just became more and more sad and I guess I could see no reason to even try, kind of like hopeless, but I already feel better today. It's so odd how yesterday everything just seemed so pointless and I couldn't see any solutions or any reason to feel better and today, so far, knock on wood, I don't feel that way. I don't know why that happens. I guess I was just trying to see if anyone had any suggestions as to how to change your mood when this happens, cause obviously, for me anyway, every minute of everyday isn't like that so I don't know why sometimes I can't see anything worth trying for and sometimes I'm okay.

[tmays]

I just finished a cbt group and cbt is all about coping skills. I think you would find a lot of the cbt coping exercises useful.

[karai]

One coping skill I learned out of desperation was listening to my sleep tape music. I woke up in the middle of the night and was overcome with one of my really bad funks (w/ S. tho'ts even) and couldn't shake it, then I realized I had my earphones on. Just so happened I was listening to my sleep tape. I concentrated really hard and next thing I know, I was waking up in the a.m. and feeling better. I was lucky I happened to have put on the tape that night. It has to be that kind of really calming music, cuz I don't think the music on the radio would have helped in this situation, for me at least. Hope this helps.

[crystalr0w3]

Coping skills are learned as you experience more in life. You just acquire it naturally for experiences exposes us to something new that made us learn valuable lessons in life that contributes to our growth as a person. Our experiences good or bad have something to share in our maturity. You don't need to learn anything. You'll just learn it from yourself like a hungry poor man feeds himself on his own. It's an instinct you know.

[malign]

Crystal,

I'm sorry, I disagree with you. If coping skills were instinctive, there would be far fewer of us who have problems with them. I agree that at the time you need a particular skill, you're the only one who can apply it, but I firmly believe that these skills are learnable, and in fact, teachable.

[JulianP]

............deleted

[smallstar]

I guess I'm not sure what I was really looking for here, maybe I didn't know exactly what coping skills were. When I had asked this question I was just wondering how people coped with being very depressed and just feeling a little overwhelmed by it, or feeling very anxious and scared. When I get like that I just feel like there is something I need to do to help myself, not just sit there and continue to feel so bad. I have just been feeling bad lately, and I just have this desire (obviously) to not feel this way, and it seems the longer it is let go the harder it is. I thought maybe somebody had some ways they coped when they felt like this, maybe I was missing something, I assume there has to be something you can do. I guess what I am trying to cope with is just day to day life, but I guess that is just too broad, I think I misunderstood what coping skills are. I don't know of any certain times I tried to cope and failed, but then again I think I may not be thinking right.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Smallstar,

When I am feeling low I try a number of things: I will listen to music, or I will talk to my wife or some good friends, or I will go out for a long and vigorous walk. I take my dog, Blue, on those walks and that often helps. We do not stroll but walk fast. That seems to relieve a lot of tension and he loves it, too. Those are just a few. I also get a lot of relief by writing. Everyone has a number of things they can try. What works for you?

Allan

[confuzzed]

Hey everyone,
things I do to cope are: walking, writing in my journal about what's bothering me, meditating.
Sometimes when I'm really upset I walk for miles/hours! I guess I should be happy I can find my way home some days....:rolleyes:
JUST KIDDING ABOUT THAT -but I DO vary my route when I walk so I get a change of scenery. I've also done "walking meditation", which is interesting.
-confuzzed

[tmays]

Along with the cbt coping exercises like the tea forms I also use exercise and as touchy feely as it sounds (and I hope none of my boyz see this) Yoga.

[tmays]

Happy New Year. I hope everyone is off to a great start in the new year:)

[Cynthia]

My go to method is the TEA form, but I also do deep breathing for relaxation and try and take nature walks and let myself marvel at all the wonderful and amazing little things the world has in it for us to marvel at:)

[DepressedInTennessee]

I have heard that talking about thing can help but since I have been posting here it has the opposite effect. Now I have a stress headache.In fact I think I may have been given some really stupid advice here . Nothing I do has done much good. walking,excercising ,diet. I don't trust doctors of any kind or the government because of past experiences so I am between a rock and a hard place. There may only be one solution to my problem. I have no money,no way to support myself. a lawyer wont help me get disability when I have a serious depression problem because I don't see a doctor.The system makes it harder for the people that are the most vulnerable. the people without insurance. the people reluctant to ask for help in the first place. I think they would rather I just not be here.If that wasn't the case then they would have referred me immediately somewhere and told me i don't need any money to go when i got up enough nerve to contact someone yesterday. One time several years ago when I did not know what else to do and could not get up the nerve to go through what i was thinking,I called a suicide hotline for 3 days. I spent several hours listening to a busy signal on the phone. I thought about trying to strangle myself with the cord while I was waiting for a call to go through. A call never did go through. I had to get through it on my own. It is hard because I had almost nothing. I have stopped working sometimes when I am depressed. If I had money no one would be telling me to look elsewhere for help .The healthcare system is broke for poor people. people her don't know where I am coming from . I am middle aged and after all this time am still reluctant to even ask for help in the first place. Things need to change. Someone needs to refer people immediatly. Someone needs to answer that phone if you expect people like me to get help , because someone like me may never ask again that second time.It was 10 years between the phone call I made and yesterday when I contacted someone.

[Ilook@allthelonelypeople]

Hey everyone,
things I do to cope are: walking, writing in my journal about what's bothering me, meditating.
Sometimes when I'm really upset I walk for miles/hours! I guess I should be happy I can find my way home some days....:rolleyes:
JUST KIDDING ABOUT THAT -but I DO vary my route when I walk so I get a change of scenery. I've also done "walking meditation", which is interesting.
-confuzzed

I'm with you on the writing. I read recently that women in particular are calmed by the mere act of talking (or writing) about challenges or difficulties, which can cause cross-gender misunderstandings when men think they want to be fixed, when sometimes, they just want to vent.

Walking's great. There's a thing Japanese guys do, although I can't remember the name of it right now, that involves just walking in the woods and being in touch with nature; it's more spiritual than physical. It's too easy, in our modern lifestyles, to forget the importance of such things, or to think going to church on Sunday will take care of it.

[Ilook@allthelonelypeople]

I have heard that talking about thing can help but since I have been posting here it has the opposite effect. Now I have a stress headache.In fact I think I may have been given some really stupid advice here . Nothing I do has done much good. walking,excercising ,diet. I don't trust doctors of any kind or the government because of past experiences so I am between a rock and a hard place. There may only be one solution to my problem. I have no money,no way to support myself. a lawyer wont help me get disability when I have a serious depression problem because I don't see a doctor.The system makes it harder for the people that are the most vulnerable. the people without insurance. the people reluctant to ask for help in the first place. I think they would rather I just not be here.If that wasn't the case then they would have referred me immediately somewhere and told me i don't need any money to go when i got up enough nerve to contact someone yesterday. One time several years ago when I did not know what else to do and could not get up the nerve to go through what i was thinking,I called a suicide hotline for 3 days. I spent several hours listening to a busy signal on the phone. I thought about trying to strangle myself with the cord while I was waiting for a call to go through. A call never did go through. I had to get through it on my own. It is hard because I had almost nothing. I have stopped working sometimes when I am depressed. If I had money no one would be telling me to look elsewhere for help .The healthcare system is broke for poor people. people her don't know where I am coming from . I am middle aged and after all this time am still reluctant to even ask for help in the first place. Things need to change. Someone needs to refer people immediatly. Someone needs to answer that phone if you expect people like me to get help , because someone like me may never ask again that second time.It was 10 years between the phone call I made and yesterday when I contacted someone.

I agree the system does make it harder on people who are most in need. But, for now there's nothing anyone can do to change that. And, if it does change, it will take time. Don't be so quick to write off the advice you've received here. Try some of it, even if you don't feel like it. Look at it this way: if you're considering suicide, you have nothing to lose in trying. I know things must be very, very hard for you right now. But consider that, even if you had money, therapy is only a tool. You have to do all the work ultimately, anyway. Take good care.

[mscat]

One of the best ways for me to cope is to try to help others feel better. Because it takes my mind off me for a while and how I am feeling. For example, I can go onto this community and try to offer my support to others struggling, and who I can understand what this is like. It helps me feel better to help others .
I also have my 2 very special little dogs. They give me such great joy and comfort. Just to pet them and watch them play helps me feel better. They provide me with unconditional love and acceptance.
One other thing that is not so helpful , but is a clue to me when I am not doing great , is that i'll sleep too much. I won't have any energy and just feel exhausted.
I also think writing is a good outlet too. I am not all that great when things become unbearable , but, try not to let it become so out of control where I self harm. That is the worst thing to do, and I know I struggle with that.
But, if things are not too bad, I can use other coping strategies that are much more healthier.

[Cynthia]

I agree the system does make it harder on people who are most in need. But, for now there's nothing anyone can do to change that. And, if it does change, it will take time. Don't be so quick to write off the advice you've received here. Try some of it, even if you don't feel like it. Look at it this way: if you're considering suicide, you have nothing to lose in trying. I know things must be very, very hard for you right now. But consider that, even if you had money, therapy is only a tool. You have to do all the work ultimately, anyway. Take good care.

Well said! You saved me a lot of time typing pretty much what you said. I especially like that last sentence in your note. Like it or not, if we want to get better we have to help ourselves...

[tmays]

Well said! You saved me a lot of time typing pretty much what you said. I especially like that last sentence in your note. Like it or not, if we want to get better we have to help ourselves...


I tried to multi-quote your above message but it was not working:confused:
I too think all the lonely people was right on with her comments. We have to help ourselves to get better regardless how much help we receive from professionals. I have helped build myself and my coping skills up more than any professional helped me just by doing my tea forms everyday.