To Allan

[sadgreeneyes]

Hi Allan,

One day here I felt so provoked by my best friend (she is with an abuser herself). We talked about these abusers and when we sat here talking I just got the reply from you that what the father did was so wrong and that his children should never be exposed to that kind of stuff. I was released to read your reply and opinion. My best friend started to say maybe it was more like a Benny Hill show and further, I could feel I got angry and insulted inside by her statement, I forgot it, but today I feel the anger is coming back, like my experience should be minimized! I asked her that day so she would show this to "her" son when he gets 10, nooooo she said. I didn´t feel very trusted about my point of view and experience, I was insulted because I react very strongly to that kind of behavior to show children.

Allan, I know you replied to me in my thread "child abuse". I wonder if you saw that I wrote it was a show and not pornography? can you please tell me it is wrong no matter it is a theatrical show or not? I think it was his sons dvd. I can´t believe my own ears my best friend could think I was like a "tiny bit wrong maybe". I told her it was sadistic, but still. I expected a shock from her too. When I think about it I nearly think is she sick too for whatever reason she had to come with such a statement. I need to be sure you didn´t misunderstood me Allan, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me if you misunderstood or not, since you mentioned pornography. It means very much to me to know for sure.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Sadgreeneyes,

There was only one thing that I misunderstood from the things you have written and that was that I believed you had blocked this guy. I did not understand that, after blocking him, you put him back up.

I agree with you that his kids should not have been watching that movie. I don't care how it was rated, I don't care if it was not pornography. It was not appropriate for them to watch. No, I did not misunderstand. Is is that hard for you to think you could be right?

Don't listen to your friend. You make yourself too vulnerable to the influence of others. You know what is best.

I still believe that you would be far better off without this abusive man in your life.

What do you think?

Allan :)

[sadgreeneyes]

Hi Sadgreeneyes,

There was only one thing that I misunderstood from the things you have written and that was that I believed you had blocked this guy. I did not understand that, after blocking him, you put him back up.

I agree with you that his kids should not have been watching that movie. I don't care how it was rated, I don't care if it was not pornography. It was not appropriate for them to watch. No, I did not misunderstand. Is is that hard for you to think you could be right?

Don't listen to your friend. You make yourself too vulnerable to the influence of others. You know what is best.

I still believe that you would be far better off without this abusive man in your life.

What do you think?

Allan :)

Thank you so much Allan, I am so released to know you understood me right and I couldn´t be more agree with you! I think myself it is absolutely wrong to show children stuff like that no matter how it is rated. Why in heavens name should a child watch that kind of stuff, it is absolutely crazy. And a father who think it´s ok, must be something very wrong with that father.
I have times where I really doubt myself and have problems trusting my experiences in bad relationships, but like you say it doesn´t matter what other people say as long as my opinion is different. I think people have lots of different view of things, but is there one thing that no one ever should be feeling indifferent of it is showing children this kind of stuff. This is one thing I can never tolerate. I would never tolerate a man looking pornography when in a relationship with me either. If he did I would dump him without thinking twice. I don´t have any contact with this father. I just pray I´ll be strong if he will try to drain me again. I do know what to tell him if he should contact me. And it wont let him come far.

Again thank you so much Allan! :)