My Abuse & Bullying..

[BabyGirl1992]

Abuse:



Well My Name Is Heather.. New To This Site Sense Yesturday.. Not Sure Where To Post So Thought I'd Do It Here... Pretty Much All My Life I've Been Molested Between The Lady Who Gave Birth To Me My (Mother) Never Have Called Her Mom Just By Her 1st Name *Belinda* She Likes To Rub It In My Face That My Biological Father Used To Touch Me When I Was 2 & She Never Did Anything About It... I Don't Even Remember That Age I'd Prefer Not To Know Anything Bad That Happened But Can't Get My Way Obviously:(... When I Was Age 7-16 I Was Constantly Touched At Church By The Pastors Son Which Killed My Belief In Christianity... I DO Believe In God.. but It's Hard TO Accept He Lets All These Things Happen... In June I Was Home Alone And There Was A Break In WHich Ended Up In My Being Raped And Finding Out I Was Preg While I Was Miss-Carrying On August 16th.. I'm SO Scared... I've Always Wanted A Big Family.. No I Didn't Want A Rape Baby But It Was Still A Part Of Me & Now I Feel Like My Heart & Soul Has Been Ripped Out Of Me I want To Know What My Baby Would've Looked Liked,,, Acted like Etc Etc:(.. I Just Turned 17 & I'm Lost... Not Only Did He Take My virginity Which I Was Saving for Marriage He Took Everything.. I Feel So Hideous & Taken Advantage Of.. I literally Think I Was gunna Die Just As You Think Life Can't Get Any Worse It Does.. Thats Just A Brief Summary On That Subject Which i Don't Like At All

Bullying :


I've Been Bullied My Whole Life.. By School Kids, Neighbors & Even my **Family** their Reasoning is I'm Too Quiet & Not Normal.. Sense When Does **Normal-Ness** Exist I'm Not Sure Anyone Is Normal.. I Feel Like A Total Freak... I Started Highschool In September Last Year And Ended up Dropping Out After A Week DO TO Pervy Teachers ((Gym)) & 4 Girls FLushed my Head Down The Toilet.. SO this Whole ((Bullying)) Thing Has Got In The Way Of My Education.... I Desperately Want To Learn I'm Hungry For New Things.. I Want To Go To College... I Also Have Fears Of Germs, Public Places, People & Crowds.. I'm Pretty Much Screwed On Life Right Now.. Does Anyone KNow How To Get Passed These Things??? please Let Me KNow.. I Would Greatly Appreciate It..

Xo BabyGirl

[David O]

Hi BabyGirl1992,

Welcome to the "family" where hopefully you'll find many who will be understanding, compassionate, warm and caring. Along the way, we may also be able to offer some wisdom.

I read this post and the one from yesterday but I wasn't sure I understood it all. So, if you can help us a bit, maybe we can be of help. You mentioned a series of diagnosis yesterday and the bullying part that resulted in your having to quit school. Today you provide us with a little more insight and information.

So, BabyGirl1992, let's start from the beginning-- can you give us an idea of what the main 2-3 issues are. Not necessarily your diagnosis but what things are really interfering with your life and keeping feeling like:
"I'm Pretty Much Screwed On Life Right Now"? Take your time, breath slowly and start writing so we can be sure to understand everything. once we have a grasp on what's going on, we can be better able to answer your questions and others will begin to chime in.

Please write back and also look at other questions and feel free to contribute your wisdom to others.

[OnlyHuman]

BabyGirl,

First of all, Welcome! I'm so sorry you're going through a tough time right now! I can sympathize with you about the sexual abuse from your parent(s). I've been there, too. Thankfully, I, along with my other siblings were removed from the home by the state. Anyhow, I couldn't imagine going through everything else you've talked about on top of that. I feel so sorry for you.

Are you still living with your folks? If so, how hard that must be! Is there another adult you can talk to that will help you with getting into therapy? You shouldn't have to carry these burdens alone. Therapy will help you sort some of this out and help with numerous other problems you're having..

If you need someone to listen, let me know. I'm all ears.. err, eyes anyway. I wish you all the best.

[BabyGirl1992]

David,

Well Theres Not 2-3 Issues That Are Making Me Feel This Way It's Like A Million.. A Couple Are...
1),. I Don't Feel Accepted...
2). I Feel Like I Don't Deserve Anything (Good)... Just *Bad*
3). I Feel Pretty Worthless
Those Are A Few Things That Have Me (Thinking / Knowing) My Life Is Pretty Screwed Up..... Gosh I Hope I Don't Scare Anyone Away By Writing This:(.. Sorry I Wasn't *Clear* on My Posts .. It's Like My Mind Races But I'm Not Sure What To Say.. Or How To Put It In Words.. I Have Really Bad Trust Issues.. Im Trying TO Get Over Them But It's Hard.. *Sigh*

Thank You SO Much For The Reply.. It Means Alot...!!!


Take Care,Xo BabyGirl

[BabyGirl1992]

OnlyHuman, Thank You Soo Much For The Reply & Welcome.. !! I'm All Ears Too If You Need To vent Or Talk About Anything.. Just Know That I Am Here..


take Care Hun,

Xo BabyGirl

[Autumn Rain]

Helo Babygirl,

I've read your entry and try to understand your problem too.
Your other post said you feel like you don't deserve anything good, just the bad thing.......that's a syndrome I also have. And I've tried to beat that syndrome a lot of times now. There are days I'm successful, and there are days I don't success. Thankfully, the successful days keep getting longer now. I hope you can also find the way to make you feel deserving and prolong it somehow.

I hope the senior members or the more experienced ones will answer you better....I'm a new member myself you see. And I know this place is ripe with advices and all, so I joined and surf around and read alot. I can attach myself to several advices here, and that really helps me holding onto the good feelings longer.
If I can, I'd like to try to give you advice as well on this worthless feeling.....I try to battle this feelinbg by starting small. By trying to tell myself I deserve something good in small things first, like "I deserve another cookie," or "I deserve having that cute teddy bear!" or "I deserve to wear the pretty-color, I'll wear it."
Small things you see....at first it really hard. But then I start to have it easier than usual and before I know it I can start to feel deserving on small matters, and then I can start feeling good about deserving these small "luxuries".
Maybe you can try my way...

Wish you luck, and sorry I can't help you much.

-Autumn Rain.

[BabyGirl1992]

Autumn..
You Have Helped Me Loads I'll Deffinitely..
Try Your Technique!!!
Welcome To The Community We Are Glad To Have You .!!

Take Care Hun,
Xo BabyGirl


Ps. If You Ever Need Anyone To Talk To I'm Here

[babaloo90]

I'm so sorry things have been so tough for you. What do you do for fun? When i was in school i was bullied and felt lonely. Outside of school i spent all of my time playing video games. It took me a while to realize how miserable i was playing video games all day and decided to spend time on better things. I got a job and started doing taekwon-do. Even though work sucked and taekwon-do wore me out, it made me a happier person, because i felt a sense of accomplishment. So, what do you do in your free time?