Was I an easy target?

[goose]

As a painfully shy and quiet child and teenager, was I just an easy target for these weirdos?

Sexual assults x 3 ( 2 of them in a position of trust, 1 a stranger), stalkers x 2. all different people.

The thing is in all of these situations I never told anyone, except my sister who experienced one of the stalkers with me.

I'd always thought I had dealt with these issues, but as I explore, through therapy why I avoid certain situations, my past history of assault looms large.

I just hate the person I have become, my social ineptness (real word?) and lack of trust for others. I am just so angry at the perpetrators.

Goose

[malign]

It's an interesting transition, goosey, because at the beginning, you're asking whether it was your fault.

You are not to blame for being assaulted; only the perpetrator deserves blame. That goes for anyone in that situation: it isn't possible to deserve to be raped.

[goose]

Thanks Malign, the voice of reason as usual :).

I don't like remembering these events, because I don't like to acknowledge that they have affected me as much as they have.

I think being angry may be the right response rather than guilt, but I do think these people chose me because I was a soft target.

Goose

[malign]

Okay, it's possible they prey on the weak more.

How does that relieve them of the obligation to not be a predator?
Quite the opposite: normal people care more for the weaker among us, the children and the vulnerable.

[SweetSue]

Hey goose,

It is most definately NOT your fault, you are NOT TO BLAME for other peoples actions.
I know that it dosnt stop you questioning all the Hows, Whys, What ifs and If onlys. There are some right sick, hurtful SOBs out there. It is for them to take the courage and accept the blame, where it soley rests, with them.

Damn right you should be angry, if you need help with this , drop me a pm or somethhing, I am feeling strong enough today to be angry for both of us.

Goose, please take good care of you,
Jj

[goose]

Thank you Malign and Jj,

It is great to have friends like you, to help me figure out what angle to come at this. Also to have the reassurance that I had no part in causing these things to happen.
I want to be the type of person who does not dwell on past events but can look to the future instead. :)

Goose

[SweetSue]

Hey goose,

You know deep down we are all struggling with that one. Nobody wants to dwell on thiings that are so painful. I dont think that there is just one solution, but many different things, that help us not to dwell on the past. Its never forgotten, but in time things can and will get easier.

And we will all support each other in this all to familiar battle

Please take care Goose
Jj

[idontwant-tobelikethis]

i might of replied to this thread too late, as you already seem to be a little happier.

but its definatly not your fault. the worry shouldnt be that your where an easy target, its their fault for hurting you. you didnt ask for them to stalk you, assualt you.
you seem a great person, and the fact that you help people on here shows what an amazing soul you are :)

hope i helped.

[mscat]

No Goose , this is in no way your fault ..... The sick bastards preyed upon you , and it was them who took advantaged of you. Assulting you .
It hapened to me, and omg , I was trapped, and terrified. Their was no way out, and afterwards , I did not know what to do.... Because I grew in a very strict religious home, so I had nobody to turn to. It was awful .
Making it worse it happened at High School. Anyhow, It is a extrmemly horrible experience that I have really chosen to try and block most of it out .
What I can tell you without A doubt it is in no way your fault or doing , the predators seek out woman or girls that suits their needs , it is all about them , and their sick desires. :(

[malign]

Cathy, could you do me a favor, and right now, still thinking about what you just told goose, could you tell yourself, "The evil wasn't in me. It never was."

Thanks. ;-)