brwnezeblu
06-06-2008, 07:26 PM
I have been on a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs for about 3 months now. I feel this overwhelming urge just to throw in the towel, and end it all. I have experienced several different medication changes and I am becoming a person I don't even know anymore. I have issues with unresolved grief and loss of people very close to me, let alone the loss of my father at a very young age.
I have never really grieved for any of my losses, I had too many other issues that plagued me, I was an abused child physically, mentally, psychologicly and the most devastating thing about all of it is that I discovered at the tender age of seven, I was sexually abused by a stranger. I learned to dissassociate and pretend that the horrible things that were happening to me, was not, I thought the following years that I was a strong person; now I feel like I am crumbling without any safty net to catch me. I have Major Recurrent Depression, PTSD, anxiety disorder, insomnia, anorexia and migraines, however within the past three months with medication changes, I have encountered an episode of "mania" this has never happened to me before, and I feel like the impulsiveness, lost of interest, lack of adequate sleep and having the desire to eat is leaving me vulonerable to negative thinking.
I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way? How do I go on from here? Is there any hope?
I have never really grieved for any of my losses, I had too many other issues that plagued me, I was an abused child physically, mentally, psychologicly and the most devastating thing about all of it is that I discovered at the tender age of seven, I was sexually abused by a stranger. I learned to dissassociate and pretend that the horrible things that were happening to me, was not, I thought the following years that I was a strong person; now I feel like I am crumbling without any safty net to catch me. I have Major Recurrent Depression, PTSD, anxiety disorder, insomnia, anorexia and migraines, however within the past three months with medication changes, I have encountered an episode of "mania" this has never happened to me before, and I feel like the impulsiveness, lost of interest, lack of adequate sleep and having the desire to eat is leaving me vulonerable to negative thinking.
I was wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way? How do I go on from here? Is there any hope?