MrsSmall
10-26-2009, 08:49 PM
My husband and I have been married for over 25 years, I am so glad that we found this forum. We both have felt so alone, with this secret problem. And now I can finally talk with people that have the same problem. Honestly I didn't know what it was called. The reason why we found it today was because I want help, first I went to penis envy and that was for women. And then I went to small man syndrome and that had nothing to do with the penis. Finally my husband typed in small penis syndrome. I read that letter that lead us to here. I only read a few notes, I was wondering if there were any women out there that sharing this problem with there spouses. In the beginning of our marriage, I really thought that my husband was being silly, yes his penis is small but I had seen smaller and had been with men that were smaller. Then the questions started. All about my past sexual relationships, the size of the penis, the length, fatness, the size when they were soft. The size of the testicles. At first I tried to help him and answer the best I could then, it got worse. The questions really disturbed me. I wondered if he was gay. I believed that he wasn't and I still do not think he is gay. But I was really worried. Then my husband would get really depressed. I didn't understand, I thought he is just kinky, after five years of our marriage I became a Christian, which made it more complicated. Because I felt so guilty for talking about other men in my life, or when my husband saw other men in the public bathroom. Even a few times he saw pre teens or early teens that were bigger then him. So I told him no more. And it got worse, he would go for a whole week with out talking to me. I felt so alone. I talked to my pastor, he to thought that I should not talk about this that if my husband wanted to leave me it was Biblically okay. Then I made the mistake of telling my husband that I told my Pastor, then he didn't want to go to church anymore, I didn't blame him, he felt like the pastor probably told other people and now every body knows. The isolation is so hard. I wish years ago I could have found this web site. Well we went to a women counselor. She felt that she couldn't help us. She felt that I had boundries issues, and that I had to deal with that. But she couldn't help my husband. Then years later because of problems with our marriage, my husband paid for a professional, she told him to get over it. I'm not kidding. Get over it. Wow that was a lot of help. So then I found a male therapist that has help male prisoners, he was on tv or something, he wanted to hypnotise him. We both didn't want that. Also my husband started using pumps, at first they were junk, then he bought more expensive ones. This truely changed his size temporary. A half inch in length and one and a half in girth. And thats not his best. Some times he gets bigger then that. I felt guilt from this because, I did find wonderful pleasure from the change in his size. Which I want to say that my husbands small penis has made him the best lover I've ever been with, he tries so hard to make up for his smallness. He was the first person I ever had an orgasim with and that was before the pump, but when I tell him that it still doesn;t help his emotional pain. So then my husband had surgery, we only had enough money for lengthenig. We couldn't afford to have fat added and the doctor said that would diminish eventually anyhow. That added about a quarter of an inch, I truely feel a difference, but you really can't see it. I have more to say but I've ran out of space. I will write more later, thanks for listening and any advice.