Symptoms are persisting

[copernicus]

I posted about 6 weeks ago about blacking out and some other symptoms. I've had a new development happen this past week, and it's starting to bug me a bit. I was with my father and he mentioned something about a situation from years ago that made me very uncomfortable. It really caught me off guard. The problem is that I somehow totally blocked it out for about 12 hours until the next morning. My recollection would be something like this:

Talking-uncomfortable comment-....-sitting watching tv.

I don't remember leaving the room, walking into the next room, any of the remaining conversation (can't really be sure there was more, but there was). What really really bothers me is how I was able to block out this until the next morning, when it woke me up with a jolt. There have also been a couple other events such as this that have occurred within the past few months.

Also, when my girlfriend and I are intimate, and she is on top, I really get freaked out. I feel out of control. like I'm being held down. I mention this because after an intimate moment where she was, a really bad memory popped into my head about something that happened when I was about 5. I really love her, and I wonder if that little bit of vulnerability I give her is conjuring up these memories.

I think I know whats going on with me, but it helps me to sort it out a bit here.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Copernicus,

Welcome back to the community.

I wish you would stay with us because it is easier to follow progress when people continue to participate.

I have the same reaction this time that I did several weeks ago: You may be dealing with a medication issue and you may be dealing with a change in your mental statuse.

Clarification: Over the Internet, there is no way to determine what may be happening with your mental health. However, you continue to report symptoms. Therefore, I want to very strongly urge you to see your Psychiatrist and report these things to him.

As for your sexual relationship with your girl friend, if you prefer to be on top during sex, why not do that? Have you discussed this with her?

Can you tell us what medications you take and are you in psychotherapy?

Allan

[copernicus]

I just don't think I should feel that way when she is. I'm only taking Lamictal, and I'm not in therapy

[copernicus]

Finally went to my doc about these issues. He wants me to go through a PTSD therapy program. He feels parts of me and my past need to be integrated. Also, he is positive it is not a medicine or Bipolar issue. I'm going to do it, but in the mean time, how do I get these weird feelings to pass? It's getting easier and easier to feel that distant, dizzy, disconnected feeling (I feel it right now just thinking about it!). Is there a name for that feeling? How can I reduce it?

Also, I now have the ability to shut physical pain off. I can feel it, but it in no way hurts. Very unsettling. Used to do it a bit, but now I can do it whenever I want.


PS- what forum should this be in?