wasting my youth

[iwish6]

Hey everyone im here in hopes of getting over my small stature. Idk perhaps explaining my problems with people with related these related issues will help me and perhaps you as well (idk).

first of all, Ive felt that that I was slightly undersized compared to the average (when flaccid and erect) during the last two years of highschool (where we continued to use lockerooms to change/shower). Ive recently done research (a lot) to become as knowledgeable as possible on this issue (hours and hours worth). I am 19 yrs old with a 4-4.5 hard on (4 in girth) and a 2.5-3 in flaccid (3 inch girth). ive done the measurements and is quite frankly pissed off and sad. I know there are guys much smaller than me but honestly knowing this doesn’t make me feel anybetter.
I have a girlfriend but we havnt had sex yet (both virgins). I know shes atleast seen two other dicks before me (and I know they were bigger than mine but by how much idk). were in love but im completely afraid I wont be able to satisfy her in bed. I know im able to satisfy her with my tounge and hands (I have already have) but im just concerned with the intercourse part and i think this is whats holding me back. I also don’t want her talking to her friends about it (which most girls prob do) or saying my size to a friend that thinks it would be small (which it is). I know she wont tease me about it but just knowing that she will only know what a small one feels like (as long as shes with me) is what gets to me. I believe im preety much going through the basic stages of depression right now. I know I shouldn’t care about my penis size and “it’s the motion of the ocean that counts” but I don’t have length or girth.

Ive always felt that my penis would grow during puberty, but in my case it hasn’t grown much at all. Ive had numerous growth spurts during middle school and highschool but really didn’t notice any change in penis growth. Everything seemed okay with size and all during middle school when I remember comparing size with everyone else in the locker room. In fact id say mine was above average during that time…but since then not much has happened. Idont think my problem is genetic since my not much older brother and dad have bigger schlongs than i. my bro has atleast 6 inches and I know my dad is bigger (im positive..dont worry about it). Ive stopped growing height wise but is still growing hair on my chest…does this mean im still going through puberty? And my penis might grow more?

ive always felt that I would be an excellent lover but is beginning to think otherwise due to my lack in size (intercourse is the most important out of all sexual aspects). Ive been getting really depressed lately…with the usually feelings of lifelessness and I feel as if I have to constantly check below the belt to see the size. Imsomnia, and not eating as much is also other symptoms that is occurring. It seems that the only thing on my mind these days is concerns of my size. I feel as if no matter how much I am charming, loving, caring, or whatever I will not be good enuff because of my 4 in dick. the fact that I preety much cant do anything about it is whats getting to me. with almost anything else in life I am able to control. Im skinny but ive always felt that I could get bigger by lifting weights or eating more. Not to be conceded but im preety good looking with almost every girl considering me to be “cute” (not to be concede or anything!). ive been able to pick up a lot of girls but didn’t go anywhere with them as far as with my current gf (only girl that has seen my penis). The size of my penis is something that I cannot control and it is something that I am going to have to come to terms with but I havnt yet and its making me go crazy!

Maybe if I was more girthy I wouldn’t care about length, but im both short and not girthy. Im going to have to find some snug fit condoms or something bc I wouldn’t want the condom coming off during sex (if we ever do). I love my girlfriend very much and I know she loves me. I just hope this doesn’t get in the way of our growing relationship. If we end up breaking up later down the road for unknown reasons i m positive I wont find a better looking, more loving gf than I have no (shes my one in a billion). I just might stay single for the rest of my life if we end up breaking up. Why did God make me this way idk? maybe I should talk to a priest about this stuff (not kidding). I don’t want to see a therapist (too much money, embarassement, and the possible notififying my parents.

These are my almost complete thoughts on this subject and where I stand. I hope I will get some positive feedback on this topic. Its really getting me down and has been affecting my personal life and school life. I believe im beginning to have erectile dysfunction because of my issue..fcuk. what to do? Got to get over it. This is the way the big man upstairs made me. perhaps some positive stories of guys with the same sized shlong being able to pleasure their gf’s or wives would help.

[iwish6]

i am visiting my doctor tomorrow because i have a fever. should i bring this topic up? if so, are there any specific questions i should ask him? is there any hope for it to enlarge? or am i just stuck with it?

-thanks, 19 year old suffering...

[Recluse]

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[Recluse]

There currently are no safe enlargement techniques out there, I will be the first one on the operating table once there are.

[iwish6]

hey recluse. sadly, your story put me to tears. up untill now ive been mostly satisfied with my life. ive always was able to look at the bright side of things. i never imagined that something physically about me would put me into such a great state of depression. ive never thought of my member as something extremely small, but now with all this talk about people being rediculed about being 4 inch im beginning to think that i am unaturally small. i never imagined i would talk about issues on these forums in my life, but i find them very helpfull when you have really knowone to turn to.s

i appreciate you commenting back and to hear your story. i imagine you as an older me. i will not let it get to me. i cant. i will use my mental strength to block out the thoughts of inadequecy and become the lover my girlfriend wants. the size isnt an issue to me but it affects me because i want my girlfriend to enjoy intercourse and im not sure if its possible.

i know you have been dealing with this issue for a lot longer than i have but i believe you will find someone that you love and loves you just as much in return. dont give up hope man.

the only reason why i would like to talk to a preist is so that he can reassure me that other things matter in life..to not be so kept up on something so small and that there is a greater power to think about.

i would like to discuss more on your life, past, how you cope, what are your hopes for the future. youre a goodlooking guy like myself...we can get through this. we have to.

[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

recluse i have more questions (maybe personal ques to your standards idk). i see you as someone that is very knowledgable about our situation. the only diff is that you are older and knows what to expect and how to deal with it. i greatly appreciate you words of wisdom as i find that it is helping me already. it is changing my view on how i see the situation. do you mind the questions?

[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

alright thanks man. ifeel like i need to get this problem solved mentally before i can actually continue on with my life. college was going well before this happened. motivated to get good grades and what not, but i havnt been keeping up with hmwork since. i believe these conversations are sort of like a mini therapy session...but only better since therapists prob wouldnt know what were going through and how it affects us.
feel free to not answer any of the following ques.

are you still looking for a girlfriend?
do you still think about your size everyday?
have you told your family about the issue?
have you seen a therapist?
what made you want to go back to college?
how did the hookers react when you had sex w/them?
what was the deepest relationship youve had witha girl?
how depressed were you?

[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

since you stopped looking for a gf at 15 are you done looking for a relationship?

idk if this will help but maybe the next time you see a hooker..instead of just using her as a source for pleasure maybe yu can tell her your situation and ask her to help you out...ask her what workks/feels good. to me it wouldnt matter if she laughed since she is a hooker and i wouldnt give a fcuk...laugh if you want. idk you. thats what i would say or think.

are you religious?

where can i get erection pills (like viagra) other than at the doctors? (dont want to be billed in front of family or something).

ive never been teased about my size before. ive even told my close friends that i have a small one (except i say that i have a 5 incher). and they didnt tease me. cmon half an in. but girth is what matters.

when you had sex withthe hooker did you use a condom? did it slip off?

fcuk i would be mordified if that happened to me and my gf. i tried prac with sum from the store and they seem kinda loose. i wacked off with it on to see if it would come off but it didnt. thats why im asking.

how often did you masturbate when you were younger? and currently?

[iwish6]

anyone reading this who also suffers from the same fate...i would like to hear your story and how you are doing. i believe the more we talk about it the more we will cope with the fact...for now. lets get over this and move on please.

[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

i wonder if i just stop whacking off will my boner be naturally harder and would it compensate for the fear that i have?

i hate having this. it was never there before. iwas able to get a hard on whenever or just by thinking of girls. but ive noticed my hardon isnt as hard and it doesnt last as long these days :(

do you still wake up in the morning with an erection?

im against the idea of you going to thailand for hookers but once again you are in a much deeper stage of whatever than i am. thailand hookrers=higher risk of diseases.

are you still confident around girls? do they like your personality or is it just your looks?

thanks. yeah find some non prescription pills.

can girls honestly feel a 4 inch girth? i mean they have to right. its not like they have a 4 inch diameter hole open all the time right? they gotta be feeling something. it might not feel as good as a bigger one but they gotta be feeling something.

do you think i should talk to my doctor or will he just refer me to a therapist. i mean they cant really do anything except pychological stuff anyway.

what positions did you use on the hooker?
oh and you had a good point on the wanting to make money thing.
i think considering that it only came out once thats preety good...just not in her i hope.

[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

could you tell if she actually liked it or was faking?
what position was easiest for you? which one did you like the best?
is it possible that the porn is keeping your fear existant?

whenver i hungout with my gf and we cuddled and touched i was always able to get a hard on. but the depression has never been this bad so idk if i cuold acutally last if we had sex. she is religous and goes to church atleast once a week. she has excellent morals and is a virgin. beautiful and loving thats why ii find her so special. you dont see alot of these girls out there that are untouched, beautiful, and loving. whenever she touched me though i was always confident for some reason. i actually wanted to have sex and for her to touch me. i was never shy about it. i was never shy about changing in the lockeroom either. but now things are going down hill. i need to find that confident part of me back.

im not sure how you think recuse but i appreciate you answers and i truely hope you recover. its only a state of mind. i mean people are paralyzed from the waist down and in wheel chairs yet they are able to function normally without worrying about sex to the extent that we are. we should be happy that it simply works. i think we should be confident about the size of our penises. recuse i think youve been in fear too long. i too hide my true feelings and change how i act in diff situation but i feel this is something that we cannot fear for if we stay in the state of fear we will not get better.

after these conversations i will not return to this site unless something else happens that affects me mentally. for now i am not quite healed yet. but once i am confident enuff i will stay away. i believe talking about it is good to cope but a continuance of it will only keep you in this state of mind.

i look fear in the eye and say fcuk you im not afraid. life shouldnt be this difficult. it cant revolve simply around the dong. cmon man we can do this. just elliminate everything that makes you think about size (including porn) maybe lesbian porn :) but comon man people might laugh learn to over come this. become the best oral sex giver and sex expert. theres gotta be something we can do. idk man all i know is that i cannot live like this anymore. i used to be fine and now im not. i have a girlfriend that loves me and i love her. i will blow her mind with everything that i have. its all about passion to me. somehow i will get over this problem. its in my mind. whenever someone puts you down or laughs at you...its in your mind. fear is in your mind. if your able to get over it you will be unstoppable. if they dump you because of our small penis...whatever fcuk them. i dont care. say that man. fear is in your head. live life without fear. problem solved. its all mental.

recuse there has to be more to life. i refuse to die thinking about my problem without enjoying the better things in life. my brain is my greatest and worst enemy...not the size of my penis. hahah once again fcuk you penis.

sorry for the rant but this is whats going on in my head :)

[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

hey man i appreciate it. i hope were able to meet each other some day. maybe our paths will cross. you seem like a decent guy that just wants to be excepted. thanks for the well wishes on me and my girlfriend i too hope everything turns out well for you. idk even know you yet i am happy to have met you recuse. the information and the sharing of your personal experiences has helped me more than you can imagine. just having someone listen to you when you couldnt turn to anyone else is...tear.

i wish you the best of luck on whatever path that you take may it be your "couple decadent weeks in thailand" or a different path. i hope the rest of your journey in life gets better and i hope you find someone you love and loves you just as much. who knows maybe youll find the one you love in thailand. these things have a strange way of working themselves out.


im young but i believe i can change...not the way im made but the way i think. from this experience i have learned to accept people the way they are. to be honest ive teased people before simply by the way theye look or act, naturally i guess that is at times normal human behaviour but now i am a more excepting person. i dont feel like i should judge someone because of their features as i have major flaws myself. if this is what it took for me to realize this and come to terms with my flaws then so be it. i am not bound to let this affect my life.

i know its hard to get over and im not sure even if i will ever completely get over it but i do know i love my girlfriend and she loves me. everything else is up in the air. i can only hope she will accept me for me. period.

[iwish6]

rescuse... iknow youre not religious but i am. i have my doubts at times but i do find comfort in prayer. i will pray for you..and for all you others out there with the same problem. i know it may sound dumb but if its affecting us to this extent i believe it is worth praying for. take care man and i hope ill never have to return to this site again.

[lifeless existence]

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[nearlydead]

Hi iwish6, welcome.

I am 45 yrs old, 4X4". To date I have allowed this issue to completely ruin my life, to the point of suicide after 35 yrs of feeling only hate, anger, sadness etc. Dont let yourself become like me, lifeless or Recluse.

There are a few of us on here who have the same problems, caused by similiar thoughts about our respective sizes, each of us going through the same basic hell as each other, all for slightly different reasons. None of us though have handled this problem to well.

If I could write a letter to myself as a 16 yr old it would contain the following advice.

Be the best you CAN be. You cannot change your size, it is yours for life.
Physically, keep yourself in shape, for every 30lbs of belly fat you lose a 1/4 " of length. Aerobic fitness will improve your performance and erectile quality, as will Kegels. Keep your pubic hair short.

Take advantage of all the info on the net, learn some foreplay techniques. For penetration, use the deeper positions like doggie, her legs raised high etc, there are a few just google them.

Order smaller condoms on the net and practice putting them on.
If you can get to a shrink, then do, but realise most of them go into the proffession because they are fucked up themselves in many cases.

If anyone teases you about your size, hit them immediately, because if you dont, they will think it is ok, and just carry on.

You have a physical problem that is causing you mental problems. You CANNOT change your physical size. So you have to work on your brain.
However thinking positively about a physical problem is in reality only kidding yourself. The truth is this fear will haunt you for the rest of your life, the only thing you can do about it, is to be prepared mentally to accept it and not let it ruin your life as most of us on here have managed to. Do not have children and pass this curse on.

[ASchwartz]

Nearlydead and others,

In my opinion, that is great advice and I support it. I always regret the suffering you guys experience and wish there were some way to relieve that suffering.

Allan

[malign]

Though I was amused by the reference to most shrinks being messed up themselves, having considered going into the field myself.

Not that it's incorrect, but that it might actually make them better shrinks!
I can hope, since I certainly qualify as (somewhat?) messed up. :-)

[Recluse]

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[IrmaJean]

Recluse, did the advice you gave here to iwish6 feel forced? Because you are doing something positive in trying to support another on here. I wish that some of you could find a way to hear your own words and apply those lessons to your own life. It's never too late.

I suppose, Malign, that would make two of us in the "messed up" category then, since I have also considered becoming a therapist. I think just about everyone qualifies as (somewhat) messed up. Me too...;)

[lifeless existence]

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[IrmaJean]

LE, you have made some friends here online. Maybe that is helpful in some way? I hope so...:(

[iwish6]

hey thanks nearlydead for responding and everyone else. i just need hope. i find it very discouraging that at your age you feel the same way after many years. especially since you also realize that it is a mental prob. yet you have not come to terms with it and moved on. i believe it is possible to get over with it...on our own. there has to be. i personally have not. every fcuking day is thinking about it. whats going on with me? ive never had thsi prob before. im always measuring or comparing it to objects around the house. i cant even get a good night sleep. i wake up early and i cant fall back down. ive done all the research the internet has to offer ND. i know how to pick up women and how to seduce them. how to potray myself as a confident person during the times that i actually do not. before i felt like a dating machine with all the knowledge that i had. i knew what girls wanted mentally and wasnt afraid to give it to them. i also knew the physical part but was reluctant to give that to them. i hope im still good at flirting. i know the right things to say to women and the things not to say. i know the positions that are good. but is not sure if my gf will like them. reassurance is what i need. in this community i feel that i need to be completely honest. this is my therapy.



im mostly pissed off, sad, and maybe concerned about the hand that i was dealt. my older brother and dad do not have this prob so whats up with me? i went through puberty like everyone else, is rather tall (5'10), grew body hair like eveeryone else (more than average body hair). what happened? what went wrong? ive never had any growing prob except i am rather skinny for my height. but i do not think that shouldve affected my growth down under that much. i mean i have a freind who is skinnier than me but is rather average in length and girth. maybe i masturbated too much. maybe everyday since middle school. i wouldve not done it so much if they hadnt said that it is actually good for the health/body except dont do it 3times a day, and bc the action felt good. but now i cant evern bring myself up when i desire anymore and when i do its just not as hard (and im 19!) this shuldnt be happenig until like mid 40 and much older.idk whatever the reason i wouldve told my younger self not to wack off too much...just in case ya know.

i suppose i am rather fortunate in my situaton compared to the others out there. i have never been teased about it..not even from my girlfriend. ive always heard people teasing small dicks in movies and stuff but never thought i was that small. i would even laugh along with no thought about it. icronic huh? i wasnot afraid as much until i started to do research. maybe thats how this all started. if i could go back i would tell the younger me not to measure. not to reasearch. you will only see the harsh reality and it will affect you further. we are humans and we are able to trick our brains into whatever we want. if we think were beautiful than in our minds we are. if we want to block out pain we can...of course reality in going to think other wise (and the pain will actually still be there) but we can block out the thoughts of inadequecy and atleast be able to pleasure ourselves. i do not know your story ND but just by your name i think you are still going through a harsh and miserable time.

i believe myself to be rather good at foreplay. i think that is why whenever my gf and i fool around i feel like there is great passion. ive always made her moan and whatever with my hands and tounge now its just the finale that im worried about. i used to focus on the action at hand may it be kissing or touching and not worry about my penis. iknow thinking positively is "in reality only kidding" myself ND. i know im not big or average and most likely never will be. thinking positively wont change my size or whatever but it will help my state of mind. and your state of mind is what controls everything else. your actions and your life. not the size of our penises. we have to get over it some how. it is ruining our lives. i agree that we cannot control our physical attributes adn that we can control the way we think. doing something is better than nothing. i have a deep fire in me that whants to desperately to get out of this. ican feel it. if im ina pit i will fcuking do my best to crawl out of that ditch. i will become an animal. a 4 inch animal. if i dont succeed i will fall into a greater depression. i need to crawl. i need to keep pulling myself up. ive always been a fighter in poor situations. in this situation its a different fight. a mental fight. we as a community need to help each other. support each other. more positive less negative. we need to stop questioning ourselves and start accepting ourselves. i need hope. we all do.

if there are any women out there who have actually enjoyed under averaged penises and have had good experiences. yours stories would greatly be appreciated. im just a young good looking guy that wants to please my gf bc i love her verymuch. and the thought s of inadequecy is whats holding me back. it brings me to tears to hear all the guys that are in the same boat as me. is it really that bad to be rather small?

[Recluse]

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[lifeless existence]

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[iwish6]

recluse do you or any of you want to oovoo. its like skype (a video chat). i think we can help each other. if yuo do want to respond. i am sorry but i refuse to let myself degrade and fall apart. ineed support from you guys and i think we all can use each other. i want it to stop affecting my life in such a negative way bc it cant be that bad...my mind refuses to think other wise.

if you want to oovoo(vid chat) respond :)

[Recluse]

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[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

i was into weed myself. parties and hanging out with friends mostly. cut that out of my life since i didnt really need it to enjoy life and my gf found it unattractive. sucks that you dont have a cam. i think you might be the second youngest person next to me recluse.

[Recluse]

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[nearlydead]

For me it is really that bad to be small. The key is to keep yourself from falling into that abyssic state of depression. You want to do your best to keep your small size from affecting other areas of your life.

Recluse has hit the nail on the head. The above is the only fight to be fought. I wish I had thought about solutions when I was younger, rather than just going straight to depression, and all the other negative emotions, actions etc.

I think we are all more or less in the same boat, in that size has led to depression, which then affects ever area of our lives. For myself, maybe Recluse, and deffinately Lifeless, depression is the greater enemy at the moment. By fighting the depression, we all maybe able to get to a point where we can think slightly more positively about our size, or at least not so negatively, either is beneficial. Below is a link to a site run by the Scottish health authority. This site is interactive, has won lots of awards, and is being modelled by lots of other mental care providers. It is CBT based, which I think appeals to me, in that it offers practicle exercises, rather than just blather. Check it out, I am finding it usefull, and I usually dismiss this type of stuff as voodoo, which now I am told is some new kind of camming device:rolleyes:

http://www.livinglifetothefull.com/

Lifeless, I know that you are in a real hole mentally at the moment. Myself and others have been there too. It is really hard when in that place to find the motivation to do anything to help yourself. But since you are intelligent, whether depressed or not, you may benefit from the above site IF you at least read through some of the modules, and maybe put one into practice. I know you feel totally fucked at the moment, and that is a terrible place to be. But dont make it worse by getting into booze. There are complete strangers around here who wish you well.

[Recluse]

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[IrmaJean]

Lifeless, the drinking is probably something you have been using as a means of attempting to escape from your pain. I'm sorry that you're in such pain. :(
I can't but wonder if the situation with you is complicated by many other factors as well. Perhaps this downward spiral began with the grief of the loss of your relationship and you never properly dealt with that. I agree with Recluse about employment. It could be helpful to feel useful and productive in some way. Getting out in the world in some manner would also provide you with some type of human interaction.

[lifeless existence]

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[IrmaJean]

Who's going to hire me? I'm 34. I've worked a total of about two years in my life and not at all in the last seven. I have no references. How am I going to get a job that a woman my age will respect? At 34, I'm expected to have accomplished something by now and have a decent job. Women my age aren't attracted to burger-flippers. That's not what they're looking for.

I think that the first step to take should be for you. You can't kick a field goal from your own 10 yard line. It's a place to start. If it has to be burger-flipping to begin with then you begin there and build your way up the ladder.

I'm a loser.

Do something to change that inner belief. If you continue to beat yourself down you are giving that lie the power in your life. Maybe it's time to take some power back. Silence your inner critic. Take the first step and do something proactive. Make a choice to heal. What is holding you back, LE?

[lifeless existence]

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[nearlydead]

Lifeless,

I think at the moment you are scared shitless, you realise that you have got yourself down to the lowest point possible, and your angry at yourself for it. You realise that any action you take will not cure anything, and will take forever, the mountain is to high and hard to climb. You dont even know if its worth climbing. At the moment your choices are suicide or a life of further misery. Just having that choice alone is misery.

I too was in exactly the same place, I've picked the place, method, time and date. What im going to take, the phone number of the local police station, the different letters written (parents/police/landlord etc) closed bank accounts, telephone/net subscriptions, last meal, planned my last hours, even worked out how many seconds it will take me to fall 190 feet with a plastic bag over my head sealed with duct tape.

But after all that, making it a reality has actually really frightened me, because I could actually do it. But since I could actually do it, why dont I just go out and kill a policeman, I'd get 20 years in jail, I've been in before, free meals, free accommodation and cell mates to talk too, which is a 100% better life than I am living now. I know you will not take suicide as an option because of your love for your dad, and I'm not recommending killing a policeman either.(Traffic Wardens excepted though:D) But you need to give some thought to what you are going to do, because your life is not a life at the moment, it is only torture.

If you continue doing what you have always done, you will get what you have always got. You need to make changes. Change is scary. I think you need to take a step back from the big picture and concentrate on changing the little things first. Sort your sleep patterns, sort your diet and excercise, sort some voluntary work for expeirence and references, set your self a goal of 5 years. Because if you do not change you will be exactly like me/you only older and with many more miserable years under your belt. Change yourself slowly for the better.

Another thing, throughout your posts you are always stating that you are "inadequate" "unsuitable" to be with any woman. YOU ARE WRONG! Try being a little nicer to yourself for a change.

[IrmaJean]

I wish I could think of some way to help you, LE. You an I share a lot of the same difficulties, such as anxiety and feelings of inadequacy...though I am feeling much better about myself now. I want you to feel better too. I want you to want to feel better. I hope that you do. Please don't give up hope.
You seem like a good person with a kind heart. Those traits are so very valuable. I wish you could see that and believe in yourself. Are you able to talk with any family members about this right now?

Maybe think of taking one small positive step as a way to begin digging yourself out of the hole, a way of finding some light and hope, a way to see a promising future...small steps forward...a little bit at a time. There are people who care, LE.

[lifeless existence]

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[iwish6]

just for the heads up. i am about to write another rant which was spurred by Lifelesses concerns. if you do read my story you may compare it to your life and may either get depressed further or you can see it as an inspiring peice on how a stubborn 19 year old sees his situation. its all perspective and how you react..just like how we all react mentally to our prob. in any case posting this will make me feel better.

ihave a gf who is beautiful (and not just to my standards..i have high standards anyway. she has excellent morals and is very smart. weve done everything other than actual intercourse. we havnt had sex yet bc we are both virgins. for her its a moral thing..for me i believe it is bc i am insecure about it. she doesnt know that i am insecure about it and i dont plan on ever telling her.

we say "i love you" almost everyday...and we mean it. i believe love is a deep feeling for another caused by certain actions. both emotional and physical. im not sure whether any of you have ever been in love but if you have im sure you can agree with me on the following...i love how she looks at me, the feeling of warm embrace when we hold each other and cuddle. the feeling of a deeper connection. whenever i hold her hand or wrap my arm around her i hope that she feels protected.

bc she is beautiful she is capaple of going out with any guy she chooses. someone that is more muscular than me, better looking, smarter, and of course a bigger dick. in fact i dont even have my lisence so she drives me around all the time. in fact she has a well paid part time job and i dont. in fact im average in intellegence and shes a straight A student striving to be an engineer. in fact i have a small penis. all these things could get to her but what i do best is that i make sure i rock her world in every dating aspect other than intercourse. thats the secret. i was able to go out with her bc i did what no other guy has done. i made sure i was different than every other guy. i made sure i was the most witty, clever, quick, fun, funny, spontaneous, confident, (on the outside atleast...in the inside i believe myself to be a mess), morally in tune, sarcastic, good conversationalist, person that shes met in her life. in every relationship that ive attempted i saw it as a game. i like flirting bc i wanted to see if i had what it took to get the girl. and most of the time i was able to. but so far have not gone all the way bc i am afraid of the next step and how good i will be. the point is if your able to portray to the outside world and to whoever you are attracted to that youre their one in a million then you have a higher chance of getting that person. and hopefully when it comes down to it that person will overlook what us guys on this forum believe to be the most important thing in life (size). sure we might get teased, we might get laughed at, they might talk behind our backs. i refuse to let what im born with affect my way of life. i found my one in a million and i hope im her one in a billion. never give up guys. never. yourmind will try to trick you into thinking you are useless and not worth it. the way you think is something you can change. beauty is all around us gentleman. life itself is a beautiful game. how we choose to play it is up to us. i have a small penis...and i love it!

[existindeath]

iwish6 and for all,


There is a perspective you all seem to want. A validation to help you over come this issue and finally lay it to rest.. A woman's point of view perhaps is what you are really seeking to answer your doubts?

I'll start with iwish6...having a girlfriend whom you care so much about and its mutual to my understanding. Do you really think she will love you any less or that your penis size will matter when someone truly cares about you?

With woman its all mental; if she likes a man (guy) the size will not play a factor in the pleasure or gratification she will receive. If you are wondering why... its because she wants to share this special experience with you in particular and no one else. The wanting of sex will be satisfied by you. Did you know that woman get off mentally on any guy they are into when having sex?

While yes there are men with bigger and smaller... it does not matter at the time if you are the desire that they seek. That will be enough to advance the experience to satisfaction. Later on you can experiment with positions etc...if it's mutually agreed too and within each others comfort zone.

Now to be frank... yes sex with a man that is larger can be pleasurable but sometimes you don't even notice because your not that involved mentally. I've talked to other woman about this and its the same. If the guy (man) means nothing to you or your not horny then most likely nothing will be gained for full sexual gratification.

The old saying is true... knowing how to use it helps. Motion to the ocean or rhythm is satisfying to many.

Now to speak of this condom fear... "the slip off" ... the grief or embarrassment that follows. Get over it!... it comes off on bigger ones also. Its pulled off by the tightness or swelling of the woman while having sex. They do occasionally come off regardless of size. It just happens...part of sex with a rubber.

Woman or girls talking about how they prefer a large penis is like a guys(men) talking about how they prefer a tight vagina. Of course everyone thinks bigger is better at one time or another and so on... in the end other things matter more. Sex can be fun regardless of size if you don't dwell on it.

While this is all unfortunate... welcome to the world of having to be perfect. For years now woman have been bombarded with being skinny ... looking like a ten... wearing makeup to attract men...anything less you were made to feel worthless. Now all of a sudden there are commercials about Viagra on just about every channel and these male enhancement products to be larger. Well welcome to the world of making one feel insecure and self conscious... cause that is what they are doing... just like they have been for decades to women.

This is a suggestion... stop reading about this crap on the internet... stop comparing yourself and go enjoy your life and don't dwell on this. Go out and get a girlfriend and have fun and if it leads to sex just do it and stop worrying. Also the concern that a girl (woman) will talk about you is the same concern she has about you talking about her. Only the truly insensitive jerks out there go out of their way to do that. Though let's face some truths here... it's mostly men who talk and brag... and every woman hates it.

iwish6 I'm glad your finally seen the truth on your own.

[iwish6]

thanks existindeath. your post was much helpful to my train of thought. you have helped me to better realize the deep connection that love brings. its the simple pleasures that your loved one brings you and not exactly the pleasure that sex can bring. sex should be shared between the one you love and no one else. thats what makes it special...the deeper connection. sex bonds the two of you (emotionally/physically). pleasure is just the frosting. im beginning to reali

i do agree that we all must stop comparing. that includes stop watching guy on girl porn. constant measuring. constantly posting negative forums about our size. prac being comfortable about yourself and everthing about you. every time you have a negative thought immediately say "i love myself and i love my penis." this may sound rediculous but then again if you think its rediculous its going to be rediculous. if you can fully love yourself it wouldnt matter what other people think and people will begin loving you. if you question this motiv then you will already know that you dont fully love yourself. try not to question yourself too much for it might lead you to question if your normal. no body is normal. no body is perfect. were all different. we come in different shapes and sizes.

i know that a lot of you are feeling down and just want to quit on life. Dont. please dont. if you need a friend ill be here. if you want to talk...ill be here. i love each and every one of you bc together we just want to be accepted. to be loved. to be held. i love you guys. and im positive theres somone out there that will love you for you.

[Recluse]

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[IrmaJean]

I haven't read the past few posts, as I am pressed for time this AM, but I wanted to pose a question for Lifeless.

If you were on this board as a newcomer and you wanted to help yourself, what thoughts would you have to offer to yourself?

[robyn]

This is stirring stuff everybody. Can I suggest another option? I have 2 brothers with a severe case of this 'condition' and they are both handling it very differently. Whilst my younger brother currently is failing to cope our elder one is enjoying a great life and is highly successful. We have not heard or seen evidence of girlfriends so there are 3 possiblities; 1. Hes gay and doesnt want to upset Mum (unlikely as we are progressive), 2.Hes straight but is waiting to introduce her to the family 3. Hes single and is cool with that.
Lets assume 3. shall we?. Hes managed to carve out a life for himself without the need for a partner- hes as happy as many couples I know. Relationships have to be worked at- its not all walks in the park and candlelit dinners!! And as millions of vibrator owning women will tell you, gratification can be resolved in other ways! Just another view point.........

[lifeless existence]

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[IrmaJean]

I do very much worry about stirring stuff when no one here is seeing a therapist, but at the same time stirring stuff hopefully moves something.

I am very concerned about you, Lifeless. You have nothing to offer because you...at this time...are simply unable to be kind to yourself. And that is really quite heartbreaking. I'd be willing to bet if another came to this board sounding just as you have here, you would offer him support, encouragement and suggestions. I really wish we could understand why you feel you're not worthy of such kindness.

I was contemplating earlier today about something which I've heard Nearlydead mention on more than one occassion. He has spoken of being just one beat away from crashing. How one whispered voice in a crowd would scream to him if its words were negative. I think perhaps this true to some extent with all of us. All of us have self-doubts and we can find ourselves creeping back into old patterns quite easily. Life is a battle on some level and we must always struggle with our own inner demons to stay in the light.
Come out here with us in the light, LE. None of us are perfect. You're so very hard on yourself. It's okay to be flawed. It doesn't mean you're unworthy of acceptance and love. You are worthy of those things as much as any of us are. Time that has passed can't be retrieved, but the future can hold hope...if you don't give up. Fight for what you want. There could be a woman out there waiting for you too. But life won't come to you. You have to go out there and make it what you want. I know I've probably said all of that before, but I know you're in there...

Have you reconsidered finding another therapist?

How is everyone else on here feeling?

[nearlydead]

Life is a battle, it is not meant to be fun or happy. If man was always having fun and being happy, then we would never progress, strived to be better. I think thats why all the major religons promise paradise after death. Its just bull to keep the peasants alive and working.

Me and Lifeless are in pretty much the same position, we are at the lowest level of function,, we sleep, eat, and spend the rest of the time torturing ourselves.

I think we both know that we are the only ones who can truly help ourselves, which is in itself a cause for more pain, because who would want to rely on us for help, being as we are so shit at everything we touch.

Our penis's are small, a cause of shame. fear, ridicule etc. we cannot physically change that. Inorder to even begin to get our lives to a point of the average loser will require a minimum 6 months to lose weight, to be fit to fuck, or work, then we also would have to do voluntary work/training for some low pay/status job, then if we get a job we would have to work it for a minimum 2 years, then have to answer the questions, why have we no friends, why have we never lived with a woman, why have we no kids, why have we no career. I reckon thats a minimum of 2 years hard graft, torment, further loneleness before we even get to a point where we are fit to date. That is then when the work really begins, because when we get to that point we are still the mugs with the little dicks, and have to BELIEVE that we will get a woman who wont make mugs of us, or in Lifeless's case who will love him. And for what? can anybody on this site say they are happy? if so why are they here?

I identify most with Lifeless on this forum because I recognise the anger, pain and dispondancy in his writing, I have exactly the same thoughts. The only difference is I have had 13 years more suffering than him. I also have had some positive epeirences with women, which when I'm thinking rationaly give me some glimmer of a positive note.

When thinking postively, I can see actions that I could take to improve my situation, I could sort my sleep patterns, I could lose wieght, I could go to the doctor, I could go and try for a job, I could blah blah. But it is really a leap in to the dark that I have made before using mass effort and Im still here living the life of a mug, and I still dont have the balls to kill myself. Sometimes my logical side says concentrate on getting your head around suicide, because no matter what the religous say, it is the only garanteed way to end all this crap. The one advantage that suicide has.

The truth is, for all my talk of suicide, it is really just a fantasy world of escape. Thinking of an existence where all this shit is void, is about as good as it gets.

The reality is if Im not going to kill myself then I (and you Lifeless) have to move forward, and that means making a start, even though we dont believe there will be any benefit, only years of more shit, just different shit. Which means making small minute changes and building from there. I know this quote is not right, but I think it is the only possible route to self improvement for deformed poeple like us.

"I will change the things I can, and accept the things I cannot"

Which in my current state of mind translates as.....

"You're gonna have to work hard again, and lifes still gonna be shit"

[IrmaJean]

can anybody on this site say they are happy? if so why are they here?

I don't know if you mean this particular area in the forum or not, but I am very content with life right now. I still fight the self-doubts, but I feel strong and happy. I'm here because I feel very powerfully from deep within that I want to help others in some way...or at least try. I want to be proactive in creating a world with more kindness.

"I will change the things I can, and accept the things I cannot"

You're a smart guy, ND. I hope that you and Lifeless can continue to offer one another support.

[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

irmajean. im in the same boat as you. i constantly think of my size throughout the day but i continue to fight it and continue to strive for a better mental life since i know i cannot change the physical. the pain that is going thru me causes me to be depressed and i feel like i am not the same. at times i have boosts of energy. this energy spawns from positive thinking and reminding myself of the love b/w me and my gf. i hope that i will get better (fully have no worry of my size) that is my true goal. and of course knowing that i can please my gf during intercourse. all iknow is that i can easily slip into a greater depression if i let it.

yet i cannot imagine the pain and suffering that the rest of you are going through (LE, NE, Recluse). i believe that i am no where near the level you guys are at. i have a loving family, girlfriend, friends, and im still young. i have time to change myself and the way i think about myself. im sure therapy could help but im preety sure their gunna say the same thing were saying. i dont think ill see a therapist. id rather talk to you guys over a vid chat or phone or something since we can relate to each other. if i was ever as down as you guys i might think up of new ways tofind happiness. to find the beauty and love in life. there is no substitute for the joy/love that a relationship and family can bring but there is indeed other beauty out there that can make you happy. travel. hitchhike. become a wanderer. buy a camera and take pictures of the beauty in the world. learn to live off the land. work when you can. support yourself and only yourself since a lot of you feel like you cannot even find another to support for. sleep in places youve never slept before. meet new people. make new friends along the way. listen to there life story. a homeless person? the land will be your home. never being restricted to the tensions of life and society. imagine that... no restrictions. you do what you want. it is so easy to get caught up in society and miss the simple pleasures all around us.

this is where i currently stand and the thoughts going through my head.

[maverick]

I'm in a similar situation to many of you guys. With me it's got nothing to do with my penis size, because I'm actually over 6 inches long with an average girth. My issue is the fact I have some asperger's traits, I also probably carry an auristic gene, my brother and mother does, which means I probably do. This means, if I have children there's a very strong chance they will be autistic or mildly autistic. For this reason I've decided not to have children, which rules out being with any women also.

I don't have sex because I'm too aloof, and I never liked my face.

So don't all assume that it's all a bed of roses for someone with an average or big penis. I think first and foremost women like a guy who can hold down a job and be responsible.

[Recluse]

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[iwish6]

im sure everyone thinks differently in our situation. some people are simply more depressed than others. before whenever i thought about it the more depressed i got. but for some reason the more i think about the fact how someone wouldnt date me just bc the size of my shlong now seems ludicrous. of course everyone wants great sex...thats a natural fact. im not sure wether ill be any good in bed but fuck im sure as hell a great guy out of bed. we all deserve better. we deserve to be treated better. we all have to believe and realize that...esp for most of the guys on this forum. i am a great guy. i deserve better. change the things that you can. you control the happiness in your life and how you look at things. people may laugh and say i have a small penis...well shit i do haha. ill laugh right back and tell them "now tell me something idk mutha fucka."

"Not being able to meet ones needs obviously will cause psychological distress and that is the burden I have to carry" - RECLUSE

definitely Recluse! we as humans want to be loved. everyone wants to to be accepted. its natural human nature to think this way. im not sure if ill be any good with the penetration business than a larger guy. and this teriffies me. not being able to meet my loved ones needs...esp sexaully since society is so focused on this. but hey what can i do about it except try my best. take me as i am. my body isnt going to change anytime soon.


this is how i currently feel about the situation and i hope it only gets better :)

[Recluse]

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[lacyjay87]

I'm in a similar situation to many of you guys. With me it's got nothing to do with my penis size, because I'm actually over 6 inches long with an average girth. My issue is the fact I have some asperger's traits, I also probably carry an auristic gene, my brother and mother does, which means I probably do. This means, if I have children there's a very strong chance they will be autistic or mildly autistic. For this reason I've decided not to have children, which rules out being with any women also.

I don't have sex because I'm too aloof, and I never liked my face.

So don't all assume that it's all a bed of roses for someone with an average or big penis. I think first and foremost women like a guy who can hold down a job and be responsible.

we desier conversation and intamacy (not jus sex) having a job and holding it is a bonus!!!! we love men who can take care of themselfs!

[tock.is.clicking]

Hey, Welcome. I have the same girth measurements as you and it has ruined my life at 26. A 4 inch length is on the small side but it is within normal range. Girth is what is important to a woman, what both of us are lacking. I too am very good looking and women like my personality and find me attractive. This is a curse because I know that they would ridicule me to my face or behind my back once it came down to sex, so I no longer go out and do things if women are going to be there. I wish I could give you some more positive advice but since I was 14 I have heard girls and women say bad things about small dicks.
I also have trouble with erections due to the fear about my girth and its inadequacy. It's one thing to be below average in length because it is harder to tell exact lengths but if one is below average in girth it is obvious to the woman on first sight. I have had sex 4 times in my life with a hooker and that is it and I am 26 years old. I have kissed a girl once in my life at 21. A higher percentage of things I have read from internet research say that size matters to most women. These days, women consider average to be small. When women say size does not matter, they are referring to average size and girth.

Mines 8 inches (measure length from the tip to base top penis at pelvis?)

I can assure you it is not the only thing females see in guys.
I've had shit all luck in finding relationships (plenty of girlfriends no meaningful relationship)
and am still a virgin (my viginity more related to symbolism and choice -- what a stupid idea that was)

Women like confidence and I am definitely not confident anymore so don't date much lately
If you are content and accept yourself for who you are then women will have reason to accept you too. Give them something to appreciate.

your overplaying the size card. there is a whole desk of cards
Yes many women are scummy, irrational, condescending and selfish,
especially those that you get i a club
but in life good people (the type of person we want to meet) take the good cards with the bad cards.

Focus on highlighting your positive cards, dress well, interesting life experiences, humorous stories, hobby skills.
When you find a good woman she will miss you and throw the bad cards out of the deck afterall everyone has bad cards in their decks.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Recluse, Lacyjay and Tock,

Recluse, what is your reaction to what Tock and Lacy have said about what is most important in a man? And, please don't say that "they do not understand because they don't have the problem." People have empathy and that means that they do not have to have the problem in order to understand and even have empathic feelings.

One more thing, Recluse, isn't it possible that you are putting too much emphasis on over hearing what some dumb women said behind the backs of men? After all, I have heard the types of "locker room" comments men make behind the backs of women.

By the way, I believe we do understand but we want soooo much to help.

What are you thoughts?

Allan :)

[Recluse]

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