My baby was taken away from me

[marie1512]

my baby was tacken away from me when he was born 8 years ago and i cant get over it i am in constent pain and all i do is think about killing my self i have tryd this lots of times and no one seems to cear ther is no support hear for me and nothing i do can get rid of my pain please help:(

[ASchwartz]

marie1512,

You, indeed, do have a lot of grief.

Marie, I am very concerned about your level of depresson and your suicidal attempts. The very first thing you must do is get mental help for your self. In my opinion, you need a combination of medication treatment of some kind and psychotherapy.

Can you tell us why your baby was taken away from you and is there any way you can get to see and visit with the child?

Allan

[marie1512]

i was brought up in cear and the social serveses thought i wouldent be able to cope but they never gave me the chance i am greving constently for my son and i have been hospitilised 2 times but i am not on any medication now and my doctor dosent seem to cear he told me i should just get over it my last sueside attempt allmost killed me and i wish it had it would be better than liveing my life like this:(

[ASchwartz]

Marie1512,

You were brought up in "cear?" I do not understand. Could you explain.

Why have you stopped your anti depressant medications??

Why can't you see your child?

Are you seeing a psychiatrist and, if not, why not?

Allan

[marie1512]

yes i was brought up in cear they used the fact i was unstbel in cear to take my son away from me i havent seen him sinse he was 1 day old 8 years ago i stoped takeing my meds cos they wernt helping and my sicaietrist dident cear what i did so i stoped seing him my husband dosent belive in taking medications but i think i need to try and get help again because i am constently thinking of killing myself and killing my husband and famely as i blame my famely for my son being taken away from me i had a very hard upbringing befor i was in cear now i just think what is the point of liveing like this my husband and famely need to be punished for ther sins i did nothing rong yet i am the one who is suffering if i have to suffer for ther sins i should be the one to punish them

[marie1512]

hi im sorry for my last post some times i right things in hast when i was righting that i was in a bad mood i vent my anger out in a lot of different ways some times by hurting my self and other times by righting silly things half the time i dont no whether i am comeing or going i get so down that nothing matters to me as i am righting this i no i am close to doing something silly ether to my self or someone els i have been keeping myself looked away so that i cant hurt anyone i am so lost that i dont no what to do for the best i wish i had a madgic wand to make all the hurt and pain and anger go away i have tryed every thing anger managment ,hurting myself hurting my poor husband who i no i dont deserve as i some times treat his so badly i realy dont no why he stays whith me all i want is to go to bed and never wake up it would make my famelys life so much better if i wasent arownd any more i am a wast of space im nothing but a terrobull berdon to them i no they say they cear for me but realy they dont please tell me what i should do because i dont no any more ther is no wher arownd hear for me to get help and my husband would never allaw it any way im so lost i shoul do every one a faver and just get it over whith

[carolinajewel03]

Thank you for the kind words. After reading your thread I feel childish. I have lost 7 babies, mine all were gone before I gave birth to them. I know the loss of a baby. I am so sorry you have this pain in your heart.

[marie1512]

hi thank you for your kind words im so sorry you have lost all them babys i cant even imagin the pain you have in your hart sometimes bad things happen to good people and i only wish i new why? but i dont so all i can say is that i am so sorry for your loss and i hope in time you will have more babys alothe they cant replace the babys you have lost it will be a good thing i haope you will feel better god bless you and your famly all the best from marie1512

[Kalima]

Hi Marie,

I'm sorry your in so much pain and I'm really quite concerned that you might hurt yourself.

I'm dyslexic too and also English so found your posts quite easy to read, however for the benefit of Alan, Marie was brought up in foster care (i think).

I cannot begin to imagin the pain your feeling. Is it possible to change your Dr if he wont prescribe you medicine?

if you really start to feel bad would it help to talk? You can call samaritans - 08457 90 90 90, http://www.samaritans.org - in the UK.

Or if you don't think that will help, can you take yourself to A&E (accident & Emergency) and tell them you are acutly suicidal. At least then someone should asses you and give you some medication, which may take the edge off the suicidal feelings.

Whats the situation with you psychist? are you recieving any therpy? being taught coping methods?

You said your baby was taken from you 8 years ago, can you tell us what happened? where is he or she now? has your child been adopted or is he or she in foster care?

If you need to talk feel free to message me.

Kali xxx

[marie1512]

hi yes i was brought up in cear from a young age i was abused while i was in cear and started self harming when i was only 9 i was given a sicaitrest and eventualy secshond to the mentil hospital but when i got out i wasent given any more help and i meet a abusive man he hit me on a daly basis and let his frends have ther way whith me i think you no what i mean any way i ended up pregnent and when i was 3 months gone my boyfrend hit me so bad i ended up in the hospital in a comer for 2 days the sosial workers wher ther when i woke up and they told me they wear going to take my baby as soon as he was born i have never felt pain like i did on that day so when he was born the sosial workers wear allready ther wating i got to cuddel him for abaut 1 houre and then they took him i was devestated it dident realy sink in and even to this day it hasent sunl in that they have him and i dont so they took him from me and he was adopted practoly strat away i havent seen or heard any thing abaut him since after he was born they secshond me again for 6 months when i got out no one offerd me any help so i have tryed to kill my self lots of times but havent managed to yet? i have a husband who dosent allways understand me but hes not so bad he dosent belive in taking pills or going to hospitals my doctor wont lissen to me and i dont have a sicaitrest any more my husband thinks i am normal now ibut i hide it from him i get the most horibill thoughts like i imagin hoe it would be if i killed my husband and my famly because they are the ones to blame i dont no what to do anymore i am so sick of trying to hide how i feel i dont think i can hide it much longer thanks for your coments have you read my blog i did a pome for my son its called the reson you might like to reed it if you dont want to thats ok anyway thanks and god bless

[Natalie]

Hi Marie1512-
You have gone through many experiences that would traumatize anyone- my heart goes out to you. Beyond working with a psychiatrist, which it sounds like you are unable to do right now, it really sounds like you need to work with a psychotherapist. Someone who can listen to your thoughts and feelings and help you deal with those... beyond just prescribing medicine. Do you have contact with a social worker currently who can help you get hooked up with a therapist? Also, can the social worker hook you up with a primary care doctor that will listen to you.
Finally, if you continue to feel like you are going to hurt your self or someone else, and can't control this behavior, you do need immediate care and help. I agree with the other poster who suggested that you should go to A&E if that is the case.

[marie1512]

hi i dont have a sosial worker any more they wear only intrested in my baby onece they got him i dident have a sosial worker i cant go to a and e because they will lock me away in a hospital again and i dont want to go back ther thank you for your riplie

[ASchwartz]

Marie1512,

Why would a social worker lock you away or only be interested in your baby? It seems to me that you are fearful and that it is possible that you are rejecting help. What do you think??

Allan

[marie1512]

im not fearfull and i dident regect help they only wanted my baby as soon as they got him i never saw them again that was 8 years ago i have asked for help lots of times and no one ever wants to lissen i hate all sosial workers if they spent half as much time taking babys of people who realy do hurt ther babys as they do at taking inasent peoples babys ther woulden be eny babys geting abused i fear nothing now they allready took my son i wouldent cear if i was killed tomorrow i would welcome it whith open arms nothing matters to me now the hole world could end and i woulden cear

[nightfalls]

Marie1512,

First I am so sorry that you have had to go through this, my heart go's out to you.

I was wondering if you know at all where your son has gone, to whom he was addopted by or if there is any way to find him.

I understand how horrible this whole issue must be but mabe you could be hopeful that one day, at some time, even if it is far from now, your son may look for you and if that does EVER happen wouldn't you want to be there for him to find? Your son is only 8 now and in 12 years he will be a young man at 20 and I know if I was adopted I would look everywhere to find my mom even if it was just to meet her. People have found there birth parents later in life at 20 years old and this is where they started a relationship with them. It is possible, anything is possible.
My husband found a lost family member after 49 years of not knowing to where they were adopted, and now the family has been reconnected it was amazing to all involved. So you never really know for sure.

I hope, that you will find hope in what ever you can here. Please take care:)

[marie1512]

thank you for your kind coments forgetting and congratuilations for finding your lost loved ones i dont no who or wher my son got took to they wouldent tell me it kills me every second of every day not haveing him hear i no he wont want to find me i have been in the cear sistume myself i no how they twist your mind and try to get you to hate your famly i wake up every day hoping to die but it hassent happend yet maby some day soon it will? i have no hope anymore thanks for your comments god bless

[ASchwartz]

Marie1512,

Never give up hope.

Allan:)

[marie1512]

hi allen
i wish i had hope left but i dont nothing matters to me any more i just try to get threw the days but i no im fighting a looseing battel its only a matter of time befor i brake

[Natalie]

Hi Marie 1512-

We have communicated our deepest sympathy for your loss and continue to feel for your pain. However, I am noticing that all of our suggestions about what to do to cope with your situation are being met with a "no" from you.

Here's what we have suggested:
1) Find another primary care doctor or psychiatrist to have a medication evaluation.
2) Re-establish a relationship with a social worker or other type of psychotherapist. You need to get involved in some individual psychotherapy (i.e., talking with someone about your thoughts and feelings)... this won't bring your son back, but can help you develop some coping skills to deal with and lessen your pain.
3) If you continue to feel suicidal or like you are going to hurt someone else, go to A&E.

I understand that none of the options are easy or exactly what you want to do. However, your pain and feelings will probably stick around and stay the same unless you choose to do something different. If you choose to not make a change, which is entirely your decision, then you will continue to feel terrible and stuck in the same situation.

We will be here for you no matter what you decide...

[marie1512]

hi nately i went to a and e and they said i am normal and they told me i dont need to wory and they dont think i need to go back on my meds so what els am i saposeto do? i want to change my doctor but they are the only doctors near me the next doctor is mails away so i dont no what to do? my husband made me go to a and e because i tryed to stab him and even he told the doctor what im like to live whith and he dident want to no he said im perfectly normal and i only have a multibul personality disorder which isen dangeruse so what els can i do?:mad:(:confused::confused::confused:

[Natalie]

Hi Marie 1512-
Thanks for your response. You are definitely in a very hard situation that I am sure many people who live in an area with few resources can identify with.

How long ago was your most recent visit to A&E? It sounds like you were having problems, but weren't having "enough" issues at the time that you visited A&E to be treated. It's a crappy way to run a system, but we frequently have the same problems in the U.S. People are suicidal, go to the emergency room, wait a long time, and then feel a bit less suicidal, so then they are discharged with very little assistance. In the U.S., I recommend that people use very specific language when they go to the emergency room, or call 911 (emergency assistance). I tell people to be very upfront and say "I am ACUTELY suicidal or homicidal." This is obviously medical jargon, but people in health care professions usually pay attention.

I wonder if you would like to speak to someone directly. Here is an international website that you can use to look up a live (and trained) individual that you can access. http://www.befrienders.org/
Have you ever tried calling this type of hotline?

Any group members out there from Marie's area (Northeast England) that could give her some advice about accessing mental health care?

[marie1512]

thanks 4 your replie i will give it a go its rite what you said about a and e they thought i was ok? but i tryed to tell them i wasent my last trip to a and e was in december when i cut my rists they just dident cear?:mad: so now i dont cear i have asked 4 help and they dident give me it so if anything happens its ther falt now not mine:confused: i dont want to be like this any more i would rather die its eseyer on every one:(

[paula]

Hi Marie, My names Paula and I'm from the U.K. Only, I live in the North West. Where abouts in the North East do you live?
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I can't even imagine how heart breaking it is. Like someone mentioned previous, I too am Dyslexic. I would suggest that you go ahead and get a second opinion, regarding your mental health. Your not alone in all this and don't ever feel that you are. Don't think that I'm being rude but do you not get help because your Dyslexic. You might think that I'm going of track a bit but there's a reason. have you been diagnosed with Dyslexia. the reason that i'm enquiring is that you can and are entitled to help. You can ask your doctor to put you intouch with a Phychologist to assess you and if you get no joy out of your doctor, look in the yellow pages and phone around for a doctor in your area to take you on. When you have found a doctor, go in to your previous doctor and ask for your medical card so as to register with this new doctor. I too am under the mental health for manic depression and have also tried to commit suicide on a few occasions. It was only last week that I was feeling at my low and was considering suicide and didn't know what way to turn until I posted a thread on this site. The people on this site are very understanding, trust me. I know it's not like talking face to face, and I was veryreluctant at first to say anything at all. My beliefs was that how can they say that they understand when they don't. But believe me they try their best. I am still very very low even now but I'm here. I realy don't think it's my time to go yet! and I don't think it's yours either. Listen Marie, If you want to talk I could give you my email address if it will help. let me know and I will arrange for you to get it. Before I get off, I would like to write some thing down for you. Think of this and read every time you feel suicidal :
I believe that everything happens for a reason,
People change so that you can learn to let go,
Thing go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself....
And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

Remember! always think of the above words. Take care!

Paula x

[marie1512]

thank you paula for your kind words they mean alot i live in gateshead which is next to newcastle my doctor dosent cear about me he just keeps saying he will refer me but he never dose he said i have a multibul personality disorder and that it is nothing to worry about i last kut my rists in december on my sons birthday i nerly died but dident finish the job propley who no s maby next time my husband dosent want me to get any help it emareses him he thinks im ok? and im starting to hate him 4 it i think about killing him and then myself but i havent done it yet sometimes he pushes me to far my e mail is mariebrandonlee@yahoo.co.uk wher do you live? why do you get sad? you seem nice. i wish i could let go of the past but i cant because i no my baby is out ther somewher i can never let go so it would be better to die than live in this pain constently i hate liveing like this its no good every one would be happer if i wasent hear any more

[ASchwartz]

Hi Marie1512,

It is never better to die, never ever. One never knows about the good surprises life can hold. Someday, your son may search for you. Can you imagine how he would feel if he could not find you because you killed yourself?
It is important that you live and that you have hope.

Allan

[paula]

Hi Marie, Cheers for getting back to me so prompt.
I live in a little town called HEYWOOD. In between BURY & ROCHDALE. In GREATER MANCHESTER If that helps.

You mention that your G.P. doesn't care. Why do you put up with it? You have your RIGHTS like everyone else. Is it a Surgery that has only one G.P. or is it a practice that has several G.P's. You must have an M.P. or a leader of a Labour, Conservative, Liberal, Democrats party that you could go and see. You don't have to worry. Everything that you tell him, will be dealt with in the strictest of confidence. You know that don't you?

The way that your feeling at present, makes you very vunerable and maybe, I don't know, that you are taking all this with regarding your G.P.'s views the wrong way. You could be blowing all this out of pro-portion when what your G.P. is really saying that he can only help you if you let him. I just find it strange that a doctor does not care. It's more than their jobs worth to show no remorse!

You mention that your G.P. has informed you that you suffer multiple personalities dissorder. Has he not referred you to see a Psyciatrist. You must have a Psyciatrist if youv'e been in & out of hospital before. I am very surprised that you havn't been sectioned.

Marie, what I'm about to mention now, Please don't hate me for but it's got to be said. Have you thought what you could be doing to your son if you find him. He could be happy? He might not know that he's adopted and may think that the people who he's living with are he's parents. I don't mean his real parents because you are his real mum and nobody is ever going to change that!

Have you ever sat back and thought of him? This is not only about you Marie. It's about him as well. What does he want? By you searching for him and finding him, might only bring upset. Don't forget Marie, He doesn't know you? You are a stranger in his eyes.

My opinion would be to leave well alone. You would never forgive yourself if he dissowns you, would you? All for the sake that you want your little boy back but think on Marie, He's made a life now, and if its with strangers then so be it. at least he's being cared for.

Let him choose his self when he gets old enough to understand, If he wants to see you then he will look for you, because he wants too and not because he feels that he has too. Do you understand what I'm saying? You've got to be cruel to be kind sometimes. Leave the decision up to your son, only time will tell! You'd only be upsetting your self even more if he rejects you because he doesn't know you. It's no good keep beating your self up about it. What's done is done and nothing you say or do is ever going to change that.

I dont mean to be hard, I'm just trying to make you realise that he could be happy where he is, and by you trying to find him could turn the other way. What would you be like then?

Obviously, you are a danger to yourself and your husband, if you say that you feel like killing him as well. To be honest Marie, I think it would be best if you had a chat with your husband and tell him exactly how you feel. Honesty forms the part of the marriage vows and if he cares, he will help you and get you professional help. Someone who's qualified in that aspect of Mental Health because the longer you leave it, the worst it's going to get. Believe me, I've been there!

I'm not saying that things are going to improve over night, but they could put you on the right Medication and monitor your needs. I know your probably thinking 'how can I talk' but that's different! I only want to harm myself, not others like you.

Why does your husband get embarrassed? Because he thinks that you are a nut case? Well stand up to him and tell him that your not a nut case. THAT YOU NEED HELP AND QUICK! Explain how you feel and tell him your afraid of your thoughts. Explain, that the way you are carrying on, you don't know what actions your going to take! Marie, if he loves you then he'll be by your side no matter what! Maybe it's time to face the truth!

Please don't hate living. I truly understand where your coming from? As I said in my previous post, I also get days sometimes weeks feeling like there's nothing left for me. Honestly! Again, as mentioned previously, I am at one of my low episodes. This could go on for day's, even weeks. Who knows? But I always think that there's someone out there who's worst than me. More depressed than me, and there is. You! Live each day as it comes because you don't know what tomorrow's going to bring. Here's another thought for you to read and think about when your feeling down:

Life is to short to wake up in the morning with regrets,
So love the people who treat you right, forget about the one's who don't,
Believe that everything happen's for a reason.
If you get a chance take it, if it changes your life, then let it,
Nobody said it'd be easy, they just promised it'd be worth it!!!!

Think on what I've written and take care!

I am also going to email you a short film. Watch it and think of, why you were put on this earth like the rest of us.

Love Paula x

[marie1512]

hi paula i sent you a email to tell you some stuff about me and why i am the way i am im sorry to hear about your trobbels i hope you can fix them and take cear of your self thank 4 the vidio i liked it

[paula]

Hi Marie, I received your email and thanks. I've replied and sent you one back. I just hope that you can start the ball rolling with the information that I have sent you. It's a long shot but it's worth a try! Owt's better than nowt! Wouldn't you agree? Anyway I'm here if you need me or rather you've got my email address now so please feel free to get intouch whenever.
Take care and I hope it all goes well for you. Speak to you soon love Paula x

[marie1512]

hi paula ,
how are you doing im ok i have tryed to get pics of him since he was born but they wont give me any so i dont no what to do? thanks 4 the email:) talk again soon i hope love marie x

[paula]

Hi Marie, You say that you've tried to get pictures of your son since they took him away from you. Who have you asked?

Your rights as a mother, is to be informed of the welfare and wellbeing of your son while he is in care (Adoption, Foster care). You have the right to request a picture of your son on every year of his age. E.G. from the age of one to the present year.

You say he is 8yrs old. Then they should of sent you a picture of him on every year of his birthday, unless you signed all them rights away when they took him off you.

In other words, when they took him from you the day he was born, you must of signed a form, stating that from that day on you are infact giving up all rights of being a mother to your son. Also, handing all responsabillities over to the Social Services. So from that day on, you was to have no further contact with all concerns and the upkeep of regarding your son.

If that is the case then I'm afraid that there's nothing more that can be done!

My suggestion would be to have a look at all the paperwork regarding your son and Social Services or whoever took your son away from you. You've got to of signed some paperwork for it all to have been above board and Legal.

Have a close look under ANY FURTHER CONTACT ONCE LEGAL PROCEEDINGS HAVE COMMENCED! And see what is written.

I'm afraid I've done all I can now it's up to you. I will always be here for you no matter what! One way or another, don't ever feel alone. I've had to much of that myself and am still on the receiving end of it.

Let me know how you get on. Take care!

Paula x

[marie1512]

hi paula.

i never sined enything at all i have asked the sosial workers to give me a pick also i had a solisitor and he miss undersud me i kept trying to tell him i wanted pick but he thought i ment custady they never sent me any paperwork after they took him they onle said i coul attend the looked after review so how are you i hope you are ok well got to go now speak again soon love marie x

[paula]

Hi Marie. I don't mean to sound rude or ignorant but are you sure that you didn't sign anything? Did you register him in your name?

In my opinion, I would suggest that you find yourself a good Solicitor who specializes In this field if you want to see your son again!

If you are not working and are on benefits, then you can get a Solicitor on LEGAL AID! Phone around different Solicitors in your area and ask if they do Legal Aid. Don't stop phoning till you find one.

Like I mentioned before Marie, It would be just as well to make an Appointment to go and see your local Citizens Advice Bureau. They will definitely be able to help you, one way or another.

Marie, are you alright? I'm not being nosey or anything but it just seems to me that you don't seem all that concerned as you did at the beginning of the post, to try and find all the relevant information out, regarding your son.

I just feel that you are holding something back! are you having problems with your husband over these issues! What I mean is your husband not happy about the fact that you want to see your son again? You started off this post practually begging for help and now it looks like you've accepted the fact that your not going to see your son again.

Marie, I am here for you but you've got to be honest with me. If your having trouble with your husband because you want to get involved with your son again then tell me and we can come to some arrangement for me to get my messages over to you without him even knowing about our conversation. If I'm wrong then I apologies.

At the end of the day Marie, I'm here to help you, and by doing that you've got to be up front with me. If your having problems then tell me and I will back off! It doesn't mean that we can't still be friends does it? You've got my email address now so if you don't want any thing to go public then just email me and it will be between me & you I promise!

Well I will start a fresh. I went to see my Psychiatrist today on one of my regular visits that I do every month. I don't even know why I attend them. They don't do anything for me but just sit there and expect me to tell them my life story. As if! You know I bet I could write a book on my life, and the changes that have appeared recently!

I sit there bored shit-less for about half an hour before he says anything. Then all he says is how are you feeling now? I feel like saying, How do you think I'm feeling? You don't know do you because you haven't been here have you, so don't go asking me how do I feel OK! But I don't.

I get sooooooo paranoid at him looking at me all the time! Looking at my every movement and waiting for me to say something. I just play him at his own game and sit there daydreaming if you know what I mean! I think to myself, Hurry up and say what you've got to say so that I can get the hell out of here. I tell him only what I want him to know. Enough to keep me from being sectioned if you get my drift!

Well I will close for now till next time. Take care!

Love Paula x

[marie1512]

hi paula
i have a lot of problems but not whith my husband its just that he dosent fully understand me he comes from a different coultior so he dosent understand why i hurt myself of get depresed i am despret to no how my son is but i have tryed every thing even the c.a.b they told me to see a solisitor and he said he couldent help i never signed anything at all i was normal up in till they took my son the only thing i had is that i grew up in cear:(

[paula]

Hi Marie

This Solicitor is talking CRAP! You can apply for Legal Aid. You might not be in the right frame of mind, but who is?

They took your baby away from you at a time when you was VULNERABLE! They got their timing right thats for sure.

Marie, you've got to fight if you want any chance of seeing your son again. Whether it be in a photo or flesh. That's entirely up to you. But I'm telling you Marie, they're trying to screw your head up even more than it is already, and don't let them.

Do you know if that was me, then I'd be more determined to see my son. More now than ever before. I'd fight till my last dying breath! and I'd win. I'd go on fighting till I'd won. I wouldn't let the likes of people like them beat me. I'd rather DIE than be beat, but that's me.

Hold your head up high Marie. You've done nothing wrong. If it takes from now till your dying day, then so be it. It's then! that you can say no more. and only then.

Please don't give up!

Keep me informed of how you get on. Take care!

Paula x:mad:

[marie1512]

hi paula
i will never give up fighting for him he is the only reason i am still breathing ill fight till my dieing day he is all i think of i have had to fight since the day i was born so i will never give up hope of seeing him one day i made a vidio direy when i was pregenent and on the day he was born right up to when they took him away so that he nos the treth and he nos how i was treated and that he was allways wanted and loved one day hopefully he will get to see it? i will keep serching for him untill the day i die he may not be whith me but he is my hole world and every thing i think of he is on my mind day and night allways i even have littel birthday partys every year for him and i tape it so he will no i selebrated it whith him i also light candels for him every night and pray that he will come back to me i get so depresed all the time i never go out any more i wont talk to any one some times for months at a time it drives my poor husband crazy sometimes but he is good to me he allways trys to understand he trys to support me even when i get vilent whith him and ther have been times that i have hurt him realy badly :( i just wish i could be normal again do what other people do go out and have frends but i cant for some reason i just dont have any enagey or strenth left any more im just tired of fighting and never getting any wher its like liveing in a nightmear every day and every night its like im liveing in the past and i keep liveing the day he was born and that should have been the happest day of my life and them bastards stole that away from me and all i cant do is think of what els i could have done to stop them its a nightmear i cant wake up from and it never gets any better:(

[paula]

Hi Marie

I'm sorry that you are dealing with this on your own at the moment! I wish that I could be there for you at this present time. even if it's just for comfort!

Will your hubby not help in finding your son? You need someone who's in the right frame of mind, really. Someone who knows what there doing. Someone who knows their Rights and can tell this to the Law.

Alls you can do is dream on hopes. Hope that one day he will come looking for you. You never know do you? It has happened frequently, where the child has been taken away from the mother at birth, and when that child has reached the age of eighteen, he has looked for his family and found them.

Your name will be on his birth certificate anyway. They cannot leave that off, by law! They have got to include your name on the birth certificate. Put it this way. I have never heard of anyone, that has been Adopted, that on reaching eighteen, on sight of their birth certificate, mother's name has been left blank. It would cause to many problem's. Problem's for the adopted person.

I wish I could be of more help. Take care and anytime you need someone, I'm always here. OK!

If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me!

Paula x:)

[mscat]

Hi Marie,
I just wanted to let you know that I was A child who was taken away from my biological parents . My three brothers and I were at a very young age. We were all separated. AND I knew that I had a "real" mother out there somewhere .I never forgot, and always thought about her, and what she might look like.
My point is that if your child is aware that he has a "real' mom out there somewhere he too, will be wondering about you. He too will be full of curiosity and questions.
If your parentel rights are gone, then please always remember that he is still your child and you are his mother ! If you are unable to reach him now, then in the future when your boy turns A legal age the both of you can and will be reunited.
I do not want you to lose hope. you will someday be reunited with your son, and their will be joy in your heart.
I have been there , and it took me over 30 yrs. But it happened !

[Ob1one]

I heard a story a great story from a wise Christian man. His story was that at one point in his teenage years he hated his father to death and he was also at a level of depression were he was making suicide attempts, he also almost killed his father.

Thing about this guy is whenever he tried to commit suicide something went wrong. One time he tried to shoot himself, the gun miss fired. Second time he tried to drive a car off a bridge, the car didn't turn on. and I forgot the rest, it was a long time ago when I heard this story.

He thought he would try out church and he was now a Christian, not a saved Christian just a Christian. His mom or grandmother died and he was messed up big time.

He started getting abusive if I remember correctly but the thing was that one night he had a vision. He was in a chariot driven by either an Angel or God himself(sorry I forgot a lot of minor details). The angel drove him across Hell itself and he heard the fallen spirits screams. One was very distinct, it was one of his friends yelling out to him"why didn't you tell me"(about God).

The Angel, or God told him that if you don't get things together this is where you will end up. After seeing Hell itself and getting a warning from God or one of his angels themselves he obviously he changed his ways.

Now He's a prophet, a great prophet who travels around saving others from his fate that he survived.

Again sorry the story is a bit sketchy for it was a long time ago. I told you this story because another man was in the same situation of depression and suicide as you are and now look at where he is.

You can turn it around like he did, I hope this helps.