OCD and Perfectionism

[mg2008]

Where do I begin? I was formally diagnosed with OCD at the age of fifteen. I am now 26 years old and I've struggled with uncontrollable thoughts for that long. I'm not much of a ritual OCD but racing, unwanted thoughts tend to get the best of me. I'm the type of person that cannot live in the moment and I'm always worried about the future. I've managed to cope with this disorder without medication for ten of the eleven years; however, I've decided to reach out for help once again. I recently graduated from college last December and I'm at a point in my life where I need direction. I've been searching for the "perfect job" spiratically; however, i've received no bites. I guess you could say that I'm a late bloomer when it comes to lots of things (i.e. moving out of my parent's house, graduating from college, starting my life!) Romantic-type relationships are difficult for me, as I strive for perfection and accept the same in return in the person I date. Stress, which seems to manifest itself whenever I attempt to take on leadership roles, triggers racing thoughts. My only current relief is to consistently talk about my thoughts with my parents over and over again in order to temporarily relieve the anxiety. I haven't had an appetite in about three or four days; although I manage to eat as much as I can. It's not as if I don't want to eat b/c I love food....it's just that the thoughts give me a nervous stomach and racing heart rate. My current worry deals with religious beliefs. In the past, I've had issues with being afraid of physically hurting people. If you knew me, I am one of the most giving people...almost too nice at times. In a nutshell, I am searching for my purpose in life and everything seems to be bombarding my brain simultaneously. I always have to stay busy or else I end up sleeping to stop thinking about everything. I also have missed work for the past few days b/c my thoughts were so overwhelming. I tend to sit and think about the thoughts until I seem to find a solution. The "solution" lasts for perhaps three to five minutes and I go back to the same thing again. I hope it helps people who read this to know that you are not alone. Keep your head up and continue to press on! Don't allow such a beast to win.

[ASchwartz]

Hi MG2008,

Yes, it does appear that you have OCD. Congratulations on handling it yourself for all of these years. However, there is help available for this and there is no reason for you to suffer alone or to even suffer anymore.

I want to urge you to see a Clinical Psychologist who uses Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) to learn to control OCD types of symptoms. CBT and other behavior techniques work well with this and, in my opinion, psychologists are best trained in the use of these techniques.

If it happens that the psychotherapy is only partially helpful and you still are bothered by these symptoms then it may be necessary to use anti depressant medications in conjunction with the psychotherapy to help you get this under control.

I want you to know that OCD is very treatable, is very common and that you should get started as soon as possible so that you no longer have to feel hampered by this thing.

Do others have any ideas for MG2008??

Allan