Living with C-PTSD

[confused12]

Hi everyone reading,

As a newbie I would like to introduce myself to this fine network of supporters. As I posted last night in my first internet posting ever I suffer from C-PTSD. I was 'relabeled' 16months ago after spending 8 weeks in voluntary inpatient care.
I first notices symptoms 6 years ago. I was very anxious (passing out, vomiting), I though I was just stressed! I had been a highly functioning 26 year old woman with a full time job and two children. I thought my stresses surround events which had taken place 4 months prior to the anxiety.

So from major depression, to postpartum depression, Borderline, to DID, PTSD and now the one more than one professional agrees on. (I actually talk to the Psychiatrist now, when I am not to anxious) C-PTSD.

I tried some trauma therapy 4 years ago but I became to unwell and no one wanted to 'open the book' so to speak. So the regime has been trying to get medication right. I have been on lots mainly to try and get more than one or two hours of sleep each night. If I don't get this over a 6 week period things become crazy. Medication and I do not seam to mix I have apparently tried most if not all of the medications available in NZ. Leaving me feeling a little hopeless if this final one doesn't work.
I have all the other classic symptoms like shame, serious distrust, I make friends fine but it takes months to actually consider then a friend.
I have started CBT in Feb 2008 but struggle as my appointments are two weeks apart and I do not talk to anyone not even my husband of 8 years. I also am discovering the how therapy process, I just didn't understand it as have kept things to myself all my life. So this is why I am here. To build confidence with discussing my C-PTSD experience with those of you who share or at least identify with my struggles.
So as a 32 year old I have experienced lots like many of you out there. I am trying to understand it all and yes at times it's scary and all to overwhelming. But I am trying to be tolerant and understanding of myself as I seem to apply more to others than myself.
Thanks for listening and I hope I get to know all you guys better too.

1confused12

[confused12]

I have been told that My cbt also has psychoanalytical work in it.

[WinterSky]

Hi Confused, I don't know how I could have missed this thread! I am glad that I happened upon it today. I better understand where you are coming from. It makes sense that your method of therapy is psychoanalysis. I received that when I was young myself. Now I am receiving mostly psychotherapy with some CBT.

I just looked up C-PTSD and wow, that is really quite something. I have been diagnosed with PTSD but don't know if that is still one of my diagnoses or not. I wish you much comfort and understanding. xxx

[confused12]

Thanks WinterSky

Isn't it good to have the thread to stick around a while because look what happens. Like you I also started some threads and there was not much response:confused:. But as I said I don't seam to get angry about things like that. It's was early in the piece and I was not sure of this whole cyber thing and I have not been very good at expressing my thoughts in the past. So I wasn't too phased, I kind of was using it as practice at expressing and knowing that real people would be reading it even if they didn't respond. (This created real anxiety for me- knowing people would read) But I must say my goal was to trying and post once a week but I think I am surpassing that goal and it actually is not important to me anymore. I like being here and are becoming more comfortable.

I am now much more ok about the whole posting things:). This has had a spin off effect in real life too. I have been able to express things verbally during therapy which I never did before. :D

This community has helped me greatly already. Not just being able post here but also the information the site provides. Having people discuss there issues provides me with strength to unravel my complex post traumatic stress disorder. And wow people actually express emotion.:cool:

Do you think your diagnoses has changed? Or are you starting to think there is more to you than you first thought?

confused12

[ASchwartz]

Hi Confused,

I am pleased to hear about your growth. Keep up the good work.

Allan :)

[WinterSky]

Thanks WinterSky

I am now much more ok about the whole posting things:). This has had a spin off effect in real life too. I have been able to express things verbally during therapy which I never did before.

This community has helped me greatly already. Not just being able post here but also the information the site provides. Having people discuss there issues provides me with strength to unravel my complex post traumatic stress disorder. And wow people actually express emotion.

I am so glad to hear that things are going better for you!! It sounds like you are on the road to recovery! :)


Do you think your diagnoses has changed? Or are you starting to think there is more to you than you first thought?

confused12

Well I know that my diagnosis has changed from major depression to bipolar. Before, medication did not work. Now, well still the meds are not working but then I am not yet on a theraputic dose of lamictal (a mood stabilizer). But as for PTSD, I still get panic attacks, jumpy sometimes (like lately), I get desperate and my fears get the better of me, etc... When I disappear I feel like a donut hole (well, you know what a donut hole is :p ), but that only happens occasionally and for short periods. But my symptoms aren't nearly as bad as many folks here. So I really don't know.

:)

[mscat]

honestly, I do not know what C-PTSD is? however know of PTSD. I will have to further educate myself.
It does not sound like a "nice" thing to have to deal with at all. However, at least there is now A real diagnoses . Iam sorry you have to experience all of this, and being a parent make things much more stressful. i am A single parerent of A teen. son. He has high functioning autism, and that takes a lot of time right there in our lives.
I glad that you have posted, and fint that this is a safe place to express feelings. It is one of the best places I have discovered , that actually give helpful, well informed aswers.
OK now I know what you are talking about. That is A extremely difficult thing to have to deal with. i am sorry.
I am aslo glad you are getting the help you need and have A support system.