Dealing with the past

[Kalima]

I think I'm at the point I'm at because of my past. In the last 2 years I have realised that my parents 'unhappy marriage' is pretty much an abusive relationship. with that realisation I started to become more selfaware. However, in doing so it seems to have released so many thoughts and feelings inside me and I feel like I'm loosing control.

I'm trying to get a handle on myself. But, what is best for me in the long run. Should I be trying to put the mess back inside the box I unwittingly opened or should I be trying to sort through it and come to terms with it in some way? I decided I would seek help through a GP but, low and behold unless it's an emergency I have to wait some weeks before I can have an appointment.

My emotions are so close to the surface at the moment and it's hindering me. Affecting my work and so on. I need to be in control so I can function. What should I be doing? how can I get fixed, or at least back in control?

[Mark]

Well - counseling is a good option, even if you have to wait for it. So get in line and wait, I guess.

in the mean time, there are numerous ways to help keep yourself sorted out and less aggitated. Do you exercise? that's a good way to manage tension. You pointed out in a response to another member here that journaling is a good thing, and I totally agree with that. It's hard to formulate what is going on inside sometimes, and writing can be a way to do that. If you are artistic, you can do it through the medium of artistic expression you prefer - words aren't the be and end all of expression.

As to whether it would be best for you to try to stuff the feelings back in a box or try to sort them out, that depends on how you best cope. The world of anxious emotional people is roughly divided into two camps; the repressors and the sensitizers. Repressors deal with things best by not focusing on them too much - that reduces their anxiety. Sensitizers go in the other direction - they try to learn more about what is bothering them so that they can sort it all out and thereby reduce their anxiety. If you have a prefered style, go with it (as both can work out). It sounds like you are wanting to sort things out though (or maybe too overwhelmed to do any repressing right now). Writing/art/exercise and talking things over with people you care about (or in a forum like this) can be helpful in that case.