pedophilia

[help_wanted22]

Hi, my name is Eric, I'm 16 years old, and I have a problem. I have been having pedophilia related thoughts. My school is a small one, and runs pre-k through 12, I am a senior. Throughout the past three months I have been having sexual thoughts relating to a few select girls that are quite a bit younger then I am. One of them is 8 years old and in second grade, another is 10 and in 4th grade, and the final one is also 10 and in the 4th grade. I would never act on the feelings I have been having, but I have been fantasizing about them a lot lately, and during masturbation I think about them, especially the 8 year old. Using them has made the masturbation very easy, and so my different fantasies have increased about all of them. I can't help myself from looking and admiring their bodies during school, and luckily I have very little time near them or I would probably be caught looking. I know that thinking this way is vile, disgusting, and it truly does make me sick when I think about it. At this point I know I will not act on the feelings I am having, but I would like to hear any advice anyone would like to give, thanks.

[silentmist]

Hey help_wanted :)

My advice is to think about what it might be that these children are representing to you. Think what is it specifically that you find attractive about them. Think about how you feel towards children your own age ... you are a child too help_wanted, please do not start thinking that you are a paedophile. Many people go through a phase like this where they will have a sexual interest in someone they feel ashamed of. Seeing yourself as a paedophile may actually help to compound these fantasies you are having.

The more you fantasise about children the harder it'll be to outgrow it.

If you are feeling aroused and are thinking about masturbating over these children try imagining their parants standing beside them or imagine telling your friends about what you would like to do with these children. Imagine thier reaction!

You are feeling shame about having these fantasies and thats good, it shows that you know that what you are fantasising about would be wrong to act on. This demonstrates that you are a good person and are concerned with the welfare of the children you are attracted to. This is really good! It also shows that you understand on some level that these children cannot share your attraction and so cannot engage in sexual activity with anyone under the important requirment of 'informed consent'.

[help_wanted22]

I have tried to think about the reactions of others about my problem, but I still can't stop the fantasies. For example, I saw the 8 year old today, and it immediately began, without my control, i noticed her hair, her eyes, her body, and I had to force myself to calm down and focus on work. Even now I feel tempted to masturbate thinking about her, or the other young girls that seem to have attracted me lately. I don't want to think of myself as a pedophile, and I won't act on my feelings, but the fantasies won't stop.

[help_wanted22]

I know I already posted, but I am having more urges to do this, and they are really strong, I can't get these young girls out of my head. Please, some advice?

[silentmist]

Hey help wanted :)

Thanks for responding Help Wanted. A bit of a long post but here goes.

You are in control! ... never forget that buddy! At the moment you probably find it too hard to manage your immediate reactions to these girls but what you can do is not look at them when you are having these erotic feelings. It's not ok to 'look but not touch' if the reason your looking at them is for sexual gratification. Looking at these girls whilst aroused will only feed the feelings that are causing you anxiety. Things that get fed only get bigger and stronger.

For now your able to not act on these thoughts and feelings but eventually, as time goes by and these thoughts become more ingrained and integrated then it'll be more and more likely that you would end up acting on them. Even if it's just putting yourself into a situation where you will be coming into contact with girls you find atttractive. You really don't want to be in that place help wanted, trust me.

What kind of fantasies are you having? ... I'm not interested in the actual physical activity but, in your fantasy, is the child demanding sex from you and is acting provocatively or, in your fantasy, is the child a person who is being dominated by you? ... How do you imagine the child to be feeling towards you in your fantasy? What kind of personality are you projecting onto the image of the child in your fantasy? ... Who do you want the child to be?

If you can't stop having these fantasies at the moment then there might as well an exploration of them (in a non-explicit way) to try and find out what it is that you are getting from them.

I know that there is a lot of stigma attached to these kind of thoughts but there are lots of people out there that would listen to you with respect and would not think bad things about you if you spoke to them about it.

I hope your not feeling bad after reading this, I don't want to make you feel as if you are not good enough or anything like that. Growth can be such a pain in the ass ... but it's worth it ;)

[help_wanted22]

I know you are telling me not to look, but this is hard to do when they go to the same school as I do, and I see them every school day. I find myself looking even though I know I shouldn't because it makes the feelings stronger. In the fantasies the child tells me that they have noticed the extra attention and looks I have given them and then they make the advances, almost like a suductress... I resist the advances at first but eventually give in to the temptation. As for the child's personality, they seem to be naughty, yet contain an innocence at the same time. I want the child to be the suductress, or it seems this way in the fantasies, and they become clearer, and more real with each time. Thanks for the advice.

[silentmist]

Hi Eric :D

Theres some healthy stuff in those fantasys ... you want your lover to want you and for it to be consenting because she'll be the one instigating it, thats good. At least your not fantasising about forcing yourself onto them.

How likely do you think it is that an eight to ten year old child will want to have sex with a 16 year old? ... and why ?

I was wondering Eric how you feel about yourself sexually ... do you think that you are attractive? ... How cofindent do you feel about approaching a girl your own age? Your fantasising about being wanted and desired, admired for your attention and having a girl notice you.

Perhaps your interest in these children is due to you feeling unable to persue a more fulfilling relationship with a peer member ? ... a little food for thought.

I'm also thinking about what your home is like ... anyway, catch ya later :D

[paula]

Do you know, what is it with these people and Pedophillia? I mean, has the world gone stark raving mad?

It seems to be coming more of a problem now a days than when I was a kid! Now its more like kids that are having these fantasies about kids?

What is the world coming too?

[ASchwartz]

Help_wanted22 adn Paula

First, help_wanted22, it is really essential that you get yourself into a psychologist's or psychiatrist's office and begin to get help with this, before you run the risk of hurting someone which you will regret the rest of your life. Even if the urges are not strong, as you say, they are still there and they could get stronger.

Paula, it is really important that we enourage people to get the help they need. At least help_wanted22 is being honest about his difficulty and that is a big step towards recovery. By the way, these types of things always existed. It is not just today.

Allan

[paula]

They might of existed, but they was never heard of like it is today! Be honest with yourself Allan.

[help_wanted22]

I know that it isn't likely that the 8 or 10 year old would want to have sex in general, let alone with me, but I think that is part of why the fantasies are so inticing, because they do. I don't think I am very attractive, but that has been so for many years, where as the fantasies started to occur only...since the end of the summer/start of the school year or so. I have no problems approaching, or even asking out girls my own age, as I have done this before with no problem. I don't know that the problem is centered around not being able to have a more fulfilling relationship with a peer member, because I have had a couple before. As for my home life, ask any questions you like, I'm willing to answer. Thanks again.

[silentmist]

I ws wondering what you generally feel like when your at home ... who lives with you, whats your social life like etc etc.

When I was fifteen I developed a kinda 'romantic' interest in a couple of 12+ year olds who reminded me of people I had a crush on earlier on in my life. I was just entering a reclusive lifestyle at the time and I think I was reaching out (in my imagination/fantasy) for a source of love that would help me to regulate my feelings of isolation. I grew out of it though later and simply ceased having those thoughts without becoming preoccupied with them.

I'm wondering what this interest of yours is about. Being 16 is a difficult time even at the best of times. Perhaps it's just a phase your going through.

[help_wanted22]

At home I generally am in my room, watching tv, playing videogames, etc. I don't interact with my mom or sister anymore, they kinda get on my nerves. If age matters for my sister she is 11. I also have a step-brother that is 14 and a sister who is 3 that do not live with me. My social life is fine, I go to my friends houses usually once a weekend or so, I have knowledge bowl, and speech season starts soon. I tutor on tuesdays and thursdays, which is part of my problem because the girls that I am attracted to in the 8-10 year old range happen to go to tutoring. I have thought about what you said when you kind of related some younger girls to girls you had liked in the past. Part of it may be from that. When I was 8-10 years old I had a girlfriend. We were together over that entire span of time, and the girls I am attracted to now have a few of the same features, but not a lot. So I don't believe that is the source. However, when I was in that relationship, and I don't know if this matters, me and my gf did almost everything a couple can do, almost to the point where at age 10 we almost had sex, we were both undressed, but I ended up deciding it was better not to. I don't know if that correlates, but I thought it might. I look forward to your next reply, oh, and another girl at about age 8 has attracted my attention, if that matters. Thanks again.

[DannyLewis]

Hi Eric,
A few questions. Do you feel inadequate around peer aged females? Do you have performance anxiety i.e Am I good enough, will I make her feel good, will she laugh at my size, do I really know what I'm doing. etc.? These can be issues that lead to thinking about and being attracted to younger females. You feel that since they don't have any experience, they don't have anything to compare you too. They won't laugh because most likely they haven't seen one before. You said in one of your posts that you see them as the seductress. This tends to stem from you wanting them to be interested in learning and wanting to be the one to teach them. One thing you can try, and no guarantees here, is aversion therapy. Think of something horrible happening in your life. REALLY horrible such as your family being killed in a terrible accident. When you start to fantasize about the girls, switch to the thought of how bad of an accident it was. It's called a punishment scene and you are punishing the thought you are having. Another tool is to carry a vial of something that is disgusting smelling such as deer urine or something else that smells horrible. When you find yourself thinking about the girls, pull it out (the deer urine, not your you know what) and take a whiff of it. These techniques are designed to, over time, get you to equate your thoughts with something unpleasant instead of pleasant, such as masturbation. Masturbation is rewarding your thoughts about them by giving you a good feeling. You want to attempt to avoid that. Hope this is somewhat helpful for you.
Danny

[silentmist]

Eric :D

Pulling out a vial of deer pee in front of these girls and sniffing it during a speech would certainly be interesting ...


Ok, so your mom and sis are irritating you, sounds normal LOL. But no mention of Dad? and a step-brother just two years younger than you!

You had a rewarding sexual relationship at the age of 8-10, I'm wondering how that ended and what else was going on in your life at around that time period. 8-10 is the typical age for the onset of puberty. I remember a friends little brother asked me to be his boyfriend at that age, it was so sweet of him, he was really cute (not 'sexy' cute). I loved him so much. I was 19 when that happened. I didn't appreciate at the time.

Your experiences may have primed you to see young girls in a sexual way, understandable really considering your experiences. That relationship has blurred a lot of important boundarys for you and your girlfriend. Perhaps part of you is still back there with her.

When I was 16 I also had quite a thing for older woman, do you have anything like that going on? ... do you fancy any of the woman at school or on the TV?

I have to go now but loads of thoughts and interests popping up in my noodlenet.

Later :D

[DannyLewis]

silentmist ;)

I'm not advocating that he do this in front of the girls, or anyone else. It is just one tool that is used in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to avert fantasizing about them in a sexual fashion. There are many other tools that can be implemented as well. Covert Desensitization, Rational Thought and Punishment Scenes are a few others. Statistically, there is a higher risk of a person acting on desires if they masturbate to them and reward themselves with the pleasure of an orgasm.

Eric :cool:

If you feel this is something more than just a passing phase, I strongly advise looking into speaking with a psychologist that specializes in the treament of sexual deviancies. They are trained in showing you how to use the techniques above in an effective and productive way. I know that at the age of 16 it would be difficult to pay for this and embarrasing to discuss in a non anonymous enviroment. But I would rather see you face some minor embaressment now and stay out of trouble in the future. I am NOT a licensed therapist and I am NOT qualified to tell you how to use these tools effectively. I just have a little knowledge about them and hoped it would help. If you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

[ASchwartz]

I am inclined to agree with Danny and others who adise psychotherapy for the kind of thing Eric (and others) are experiencing. As I have quoted and stated, even fantasies that are pedophiliac reflect a serious problem because fantasies can turn into reality awfully fast.

Allan:(

[help_wanted22]

My mom and dad divorced when I was roughly one year old, he lives in a different state, and I see him a couple weeks during the year. My step-brother lives with him. Not to much else was going on during the 8-10 age period, and the relationship ended because I stopped meeting up with her. I don't have any current attractions toward any older women, by that I mean 25+ or so. Anything else you would like to know, or any other thoughts/ideas you have would be greatly appreciated silentmist, thanks again.

[IamLove]

Speaking from experience, the girlfriend must have been sexually abused herself. I, being abused as young as six, began masturbating and having sexual fantasies at that young age. Because of this not-normal carnal knowlege, I developed a very aggressive sexuality. At age 7, there was an 11 yr old boy that was the son of my parents friends, so we got a lot of alone time. He would "dry hump" and french kiss me, at 7 remember?, and I would instigate for this to occur, (ie, try to get alone), I enjoyed his attention. In a way- I molested him. Have you thought of that? Most girls at the age of 8-10 would not be comfortable doing those kinds of things, unless they had learned it elsewhere. I am afraid you are her victim, and in the after effects you are drawn to repeat the intensity of the loss of innocence involved. I fantasized at 14 that someone bigger & stronger than me would hold me down and force themselves on me. (like it had happened before). The introduction of such complex sexuality at too immature of an age warped your sense of what is exciting and desirable. This also can cause desensitization of "normal" attractions. Since there was a "naughty" and "taboo" factor to your earliest experiences, it will take a lot to get that kind of "fix" again. Please talk to a school counselor, your parents, or another adult that the sexual deviations (of your younger days) happened, you may need to acknowlege that this was molestation, and seek closure, before you repeat the offense. (Think of this being done to your sisters at 8, what you did with her).

[silentmist]

silentmist ;)

I'm not advocating that he do this in front of the girls, or anyone else.

Hi Danny :D
It was fun imagining him doing something like that though, I couldn't resist!

Eric you say that you have a little sister thats three years old so you would have been about thirteen when she was born. I was ondering if you felt neglected back then. I was thinking this because you say that you find both your mom and sister irritating (which isn't that unusual in and of itself). Does this mean that you feel angry or resentful towards them? ... even if it's just over silly little stuff ? ... I'm sorry to hear that you don't have much contact with your dad Eric. My dad left home when i was 9 and ceased to see him at all after 12. I beleive that an absent father has real consequences for the kids, even though thats not generally culturally recognised.

I like your post too Iamlove ... it makes me think about how the perspective of victim and perpetrator can often be blurred, especially with child sexual abuse. Also for pointing out that what happened between Eric and his freind was abusive for both of them.

[DannyLewis]

Hi silentmist;) You're right, it would be quite a sight to see :eek:

I tend to agree with IamLove also. I was molested at the age of 12 by a 19 year old female babysitter. I thought I was the coolest 12 year old kid in town fooling around with a girl that age. I had no idea that there could be female pedophiles at that age. I was also in a relationship with a woman when I was in my 30's that told me that she used to MB to fantasies of adult men sneaking in and forcing themselves on her when she 9 years old. It is not normal for a child of 9 to have those thoughts unless they have been abused in the past.

Eric :D

Please, ask for help. What you're doing right now SEEMS innocent. You're not touching, you're just fantasizing. No big deal right? Wrong. Because soon, that isn't enough. You desire more than just self pleasure, and you end up hurting someone. Trust me.

[help_wanted22]

Hey everyone, I want to thank you for all of the advice, that'll be all I need, at this point I don't think there is much to add, so I will stop posting. Thanks especially to silentmist my most trusted correspondant in this discussion. That'll be all.

[DannyLewis]

Eric:(

We'll be sad to see you go. If you ever need anymore help, please don't hesitate to stop back in

[silentmist]

Your welcome Eric :D

I just wish I knew how to support you effectively. This community is always here and is great for venting thoughts and emotions that we would probably never dare to expose to those who know us personally.

I think your a very brave young man. Thats a positive quality that can be built on over the years and applied to anything you wish.

[help_wanted22]

Thank you for the positive comments silentmist, and I would continue to post on here, I just don't want to make it seem like I can't handle it by myself. I continue to have the same feelings, especially today when I saw all three of the younger kids that started all of these fantasies at tutoring. I am happy to report that I have not been thinking about them during masturbation for roughly a week now, although I still am turned on by them during school. Anything else you would like to say would be greatly appreciated, and feel free to ask any questions you would like.

[silentmist]

I'd just like to say that being an adolescant is testing and will bring out a persons vulnerabilitys as we reach out to whatever will bring us comfort in trying to regulate our discomforts and anxietys. As a child who has had his boundarys abused it's understandeable that you have developed this interest in some children. It would be so cool if you could find someone to talk to about this who is more locally availiable. Perhaps a reverand/priest ... you don't have to be religious for them to want to help you.

I don't know if this would be legal in your country Eric but I've been thinking about what Danny said in regards to aversion techniques. They were about deterence by making negative associations with these thoughts being linked with children. Perhaps a more positive approach would be to expose yourself to erotic imagery of adults. Human nature being what it is responds better to incentives rather than punishments. This is possibly why prison and suffering has been so ineffective as behavioural modifiers over the millenia.

Using pornography can be risky in and of itself but considering the context it may be worth considering.

I could go on and on and on but I'll call it quits on this post for now.

Later :D

[DannyLewis]

Eric :)

Don't ever be worried about asking others for help. Even if it is in an anonymous setting. I agree with silentmist however, I hope you can find someone locally that can help you. I'm proud of you for not MB'ing to thoughts of them. I know how difficult that can be. We are here to ask questions of, and although we may not have all the answers, we can try to provide a little help.

On one hand, I agree with silentmist about the adult pornography, but on the other hand, I don't. It can switch your thinking to more appropriate aged females, but one thing they teach in treatment programs is that it teaches people to objectify women as nothing more than sex objects to be used and doesn't build a healthy perspective of the opposite sex. A different technique, which is used in programs, is writing out a long appropriate fantasy of being in a relationship with a female, loving and caring for each other, sharing a special day with each other, then making love after the date. You then record that and listen to it while MB'ing and reward yourself with an orgasm. Well, anyway, like silentmist, I could go on for hours... I know this is a lot to process at your age, but it can prevent trouble in the future. silentmist is correct, prison does nothing to deter a person.

Take care

[help_wanted22]

Hey guys, it's been a while since my last post, but I feel the need to do so again. I had been able to not think about the kids during masturbation for a while, but in the past few days the urges have come back. They seem to be a little stronger before, or at least the same strength. I even got to the point that when I was at a family gathering near christmas time, granted I don't know most of them, I was getting slightly turned on by one of the little girls there. Any advice? Feel free to ask anything of me as well. Thanks.

[silentmist]

Hey Eric :D

Could you see any resemblence of the girl to her mom and dad ?

[help_wanted22]

Not particularily.

[roiisgurl]

a pedopfile is some one who is a step away from becomin a child molester.
i mean is that wut u want to be labled as for the rest of ur live a sex offender? i mean plz forgive me if i am being a lil harsh but u must stop thinkin like that cuz NEVER is it ok to think of a child n a sexual way NEVER.
i mean i know that right now its just a thought a fantasy but wut will happen when it becomez reality. i mean u cant say for a fact that u will never do wut u fanasize about cuz u dont know. wut will happen if the child were to hug u? wut would happen if u n that child for a second would hold each other for a hug i mean would u b able to control urself? i will be honset with u when i was 6yrs old my step dad started touchin me n placez where u dont touch a lil gurl n at the age of 7 he did something to me that has left me scared for life. n it went on d touchin n ......etc. til i was 14yrs old n it was then that i could not take it ne more n i reported him. he is now in prison they gave him 44yrs because this was the second time that he had done something like this. that is y i am tellin u to get help n get it quick cuz u r just a touch away from ruinin ur life 4ever plz get help.:) it is not impossible to get over this u can do it with help of a therapist u just have to want to :)

[help_wanted22]

Some of them have hugged me before, I admit I enjoyed the contact to an extent, but I was able to control myself easily.

[help_wanted22]

I know I have been absent for a while, but I have returned. The feelings are still there, and lately the urge to think about them during masturbation has been to strong to stop. I am still able to control the urge when around the younger kids, however they are still as, or even more alluring then before. Any advice would be appreciated, please do not outright bash me though, it won't help anyone.

[The_Voice]

One thing you need to remember Help_Wanted, is that self control is very important to all humans, but even more important to you. Your feelings and actions could very well destroy a persons life that you find beautiful. I am a victim of abuse, its a very hard thing to get over for some, me, I doubt I'll ever get over it. You should talk to someone about your feelings, even if its a therapist or a good friend, or a stranger on this site. Know that there are people who want to help you get through the tough times and that will listen to your thoughts without judging.

One last thing, I am not saying its right, but the Prophet Muhammad took a 6yo wife, She was said to be his favorite wife. Times may change, but people as a whole are harder to change.

Stay in control of yourself help_wanted, stay calm, and stay sane.

[paula]

Do you know help_wanted22, This whole thread started of with a member on here who were just like you. Thought like you and came back with the same question's & answer's as you, or near enough!

My best bet would be for you to start reading this thread from the beginning, and see what action's at different stages, helped that person.

You know this is wrong and I'm not going to criticise or condemn you. I've learnt, that doesn't get anyone, anywhere! But I strongly suggest that you re-read this thread right from the start, & see how this other person coped!

[help_wanted22]

As it says in the title, my situation is getting worse. At this point I quit my tutoring job in order to avoid the younger kids i was speaking of earlier, even though i still look at them from time to time. However, something new has come that caught me totally off guard. I have had a couple dreams lately, within the last week, about my 11 year old sister. She doesn't help matters always walking around the house in nothing but an untied bath robe that tends to expose her bare chest (decent size for her age), and the only clothing she does have under it (underwear). I, of course, have not acted on the urges at all. However the dreams are continuing, and i have even pleasured myself a couple times to her body. I know this is wrong, I know I should stop, any advice?

[UnsureLifeJon]

Hey Help,

I went through a situation similar to yours. For me, it was the innocence that really attracted me to them. When I was your age (I am 18 now), I was a swim coach. I feel terrible to say this, but I did in fact have fantasies with some of the kids. For another year and a half, I taught swim lessons at the local YMCA. It made it very difficult to not think about them in that manner. I never acted on my sexual fantasies, and now I have out grown my feelings.

It took a while to out grow, I think the fact that I never acted on my urges, helped me get through it.

If I were in your shoes, I would try my best to control the urges. Make sure you are not in a situation where you might not be able to control those urges.

I know exactly how you feel, you know it is wrong yet you cant help it. Try to console a therapist, they can probably help you the best with your situation.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Helpwanted_22,

You or your parents need to talk to your sister. She needs to cover up at home because walking around that way is extremely sexually provocative, especially for a young man like you. There is a difference between being a pedophile and being sexually provoked. At your particular age it is easy to be sexually provoked or stimulated.

Tell me what you think, please.

Allan

[help_wanted22]

We have told her, the thing is, it is the dreams that are scaring me the most, I hate saying this because I don't know what to make of it myself, but they sorta predict the future...and that is not something I want to be doing.

[paula]

They will only predict the future, if you let it!

[silentmist]

Hey help_wanted :D

I've not read the entire thread but it's not appropriate for a pubescant 11 year old girl to be walking around the family home like that.

Your sister is now well into her puberty and should be learning to cover up, not just for you but for herself as well. She has to learn what is appropriate in our communities otherwise she will be attracting sexual predators who will abuse her.

It is very popular for females to tell males that they are 'dirty' or 'perverts' for having a sexual reaction to thier bodies when they expose them but you will have to learn to see that for what it is, a game that they play. Your going to have to assert yourself knowing that your sexual reaction is perfectly normal and healthy as she is a physically developing female into sexual maturity. Your sister is not a child nor an adult, she is an adolescant. Because of this she is going to have to learn to cover up, at least when she knows that she may be coming into contact with males, regardless of whether they are related to her or not. Thats an irrelevance.

I've also read HelpWanted that you are still having sexual feelings for children (pre-pubescant). I'm wondering if perhaps you should be spending more time with them so that you can learn that they are not what you feel they are. So that you can remodel your mind into desexualising them. There would be a risk to that approach so it'll have to be thought about honestly and with someone who will know whats going on so that they can keep an eye out. With your feelings Help Wanted you are a risk to the children that you are attracted to and that cannot be ignored.

That last sentence is a little harsh ... most people are a risk to children in some way, shape or form. So please don't get too upset by it.

[anna86]

:mad:it seems is all you ever do is judge ppl i havent seen one post on here that seemed like you did any good. do you just sit at home all day and try to give ppl worse anxiety than they already have? im pretty sure anyone that comes on this sight is in great pain and feels alone as it is,it sure doesnt help when you stick your two sence in, in fact you prob make it worse.yeesh chill out everybody has there probloms and im guessing you do too or else you wouldnt be on this sights so do us all a favor and quit judging like you are anybetter than the rest of us:mad:

[paula]

Erm... Who the hell are you telling to give a break! Am I right in thinking that you are trying to criticise me here or what!

Before I go shouting my mouth of, I would like you to clarify what you mean by your post?

[malign]

Please, everyone, slow down. Take a deep breath, and think whether what you're about to say is helpful. That's what we're all here for, helping.

[paula]

Helping! Malign I am going through a crisis time at the moment with my life & minding my own business when I get someone who is trying to get at what the fuck knows! But I have asked her to clarify this! I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS GOING ON!

I will not sit back and be called when for once I have been good & kept my fucking mouth shut, well no more!

[paula]

Erm... Excuse me miss judgemental, but I don't think that I am any better than the rest of anyone, & if you want to carry this any further then here is my email paulacooper44@googlemail.com I'll be waiting!

[anna86]

"Do you know, what is it with these people and Pedophillia? I mean, has the world gone stark raving mad?

It seems to be coming more of a problem now a days than when I was a kid! Now its more like kids that are having these fantasies about kids?

What is the world coming too" THATS WHAT I MEAN AND I COULD GO THROUGH ALMOST EVERYSINGLE THREAD ON HERE AND FIND LITTLE COMMENTS LIKE THIS ON THEM ALL IM SAYING IS IF THIS BOY WERE REALLY A PEDOPHILE THAN IM SURE HE WOULDNT BE WAISTING HIS ON AN ANXIEY FORUM!!!!SO OBVIOUSLY HE NEEDS SOME HELP WHICH HE IS SEEKING ON HERE!!! SO THATS WHAT I MEAN YOU SEEM TO BE VERY SELF RIGHTEOUS I HAVE OCD AND AM GOING THROUGH BAD WITH POCD AND ITS REALLY SCARY....ITS A EVERYDAY LIVING HELL!!!! TO THINK SOMEOF THINGS THAT I THINK, AND TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU MAKING ME FEEL WORSE DOESNT HELP AND ISNTTHAT WHAT THIS FORUM IS ABOUT??

[paula]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][HEY YOU WANT TO READ THROUGH THE THREAD PROPERLY BEFORE YOU GO SHOUTING YOUR MOUTH OF!

ITS PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO COULD CAUSE A LOT OF SHIT ON A SITE LIKE THIS SOOOOOO BE CAREFULL!/FONT]

[anna86]

chill out i was just giving my opinionlike you do so much...right??? im not going to play like im in high school again and have a word fight with you. i have enough sh*t going on in my life.

[malign]

Ladies, please,

That's enough. Flaming other people on a mental health site doesn't seem worthwhile. No caps, no swearing at each other just to make a point, please. I understand you both feel hurt, and have reasons. But, you need to calm down, because that's the only way you'll ever be able to discuss it rationally. Or, stop discussing it, you're not changing each other's minds.

[finding my way]

Hi anna86, I am very sorry you are going through a very hard time right now. I know when I am in a state of high anxiety, everything is so painful, especially interactions with others. I want you to know that a lot of us understand the effects of high anxiety. I also want to ask you to hold off on "attack" mode. Paula has helped many on this site, including me especially.

[paula]

Hey! You may give your opinion but opinions are like arseholes, everyone's got one! Only your isn't an opinion, your is a challenge! GROW UP YOU FOOL!

[paula]

if you haven't got anything decent to say then don't bother! Your opinions on here are not welcome!

[anna86]

im not starting anything i just had an opinion like everyone else.and i think your help is useless and makes one feel worse.

[paula]

you arrogant fool!

[paula]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!"Do you know, what is it with these people and Pedophillia? I mean, has the world gone stark raving mad?

It seems to be coming more of a problem now a days than when I was a kid! Now its more like kids that are having these fantasies about kids?

What is the world coming too" THATS WHAT I MEAN AND I COULD GO THROUGH ALMOST EVERYSINGLE THREAD ON HERE AND FIND LITTLE COMMENTS LIKE THIS ON THEM ALL IM SAYING IS IF THIS BOY WERE REALLY A PEDOPHILE THAN IM SURE HE WOULDNT BE WAISTING HIS ON AN ANXIEY FORUM!!!!SO OBVIOUSLY HE NEEDS SOME HELP WHICH HE IS SEEKING ON HERE!!! SO THATS WHAT I MEAN YOU SEEM TO BE VERY SELF RIGHTEOUS I HAVE OCD AND AM GOING THROUGH BAD WITH POCD AND ITS REALLY SCARY....ITS A EVERYDAY LIVING HELL!!!! TO THINK SOMEOF THINGS THAT I THINK, AND TO HAVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU MAKING ME FEEL WORSE DOESNT HELP AND ISNTTHAT WHAT THIS FORUM IS ABOUT??

[anna86]

"if you haven't got anything decent to say then don't bother! Your opinions on here are not welcome! " words to live by paula you should take someof your own advice! from what i've ppl have had to tell you to chill out on alot of these forums (be nicer) now i dont know what you suffer from from and if i dont know jack Sh*t about im not going to try and tell you to simply "stop thinking about it" or say things like " you better run to a shrink" so instead of trying to point out what ppl need to do when you know nothing about certain disorders like ocd....man someone like to talk would be like putting a gun to my head. meaning you just make us (me) like a freak for having these thoughts when already have to feel constantly now i dont know what you suffer from but i certainly wouldnt try to fix it when i know nothing about it

so sorry if i offended you but you just really get under my skin. ps doesnt it say in the bible you should never call anther man a fool???

[paula]

Listen, I'm not even arguing with you anymore!

[paula]

anna86 "if you haven't got anything decent to say then don't bother! Your opinions on here are not welcome! " words to live by paula you should take someof your own advice! from what i've ppl have had to tell you to chill out on alot of these forums (be nicer) now i dont know what you suffer from from and if i dont know jack Sh*t about im not going to try and tell you to simply "stop thinking about it" or say things like " you better run to a shrink" so instead of trying to point out what ppl need to do when you know nothing about certain disorders like ocd....man someone like to talk would be like putting a gun to my head. meaning you just make us (me) like a freak for having these thoughts when already have to feel constantly now i dont know what you suffer from but i certainly wouldnt try to fix it when i know nothing about it

so sorry if i offended you but you just really get under my skin. ps doesnt it say in the bible you should never call anther man a fool???

I too apologize for my outburst yesterday. I am at a very low time myself in my life at the moment. I just went on the attack and should of understood that you too are struggling, sorry.

I hope the two of us can put all this behind us!

[anna86]

i read some of your threads yesterday and they made me see how much you have gone through and are still :( im sorry i was so callus i just get really bad anxiety when i read some of your replys about the pedophile thing becouse i suffer from ocd pure o pocd and im terrified of becoming a pedophile or have alread done something aweful and let me tell its a living hell not to be able to turn your mind off:( but i do realize that you have really tried to help alot of these ppl on here which is more than i can say for myself ocd is a very selfish disease and one i would not wish on anyone i am also pregnant which makes these fears/ thoughts all the more disturbing so i am truly sorry for coming at you like i did yesterday i was just having a bad day i too hope we can put this behind us you seem to be a good person who is just trying to make it in this sometimes terrifying life we live. hope all is going better with you today:)

anna

[paula]

Anna, You don't have to apologise to me, I should of known better? I retaliated & I should of understood! Sorry!

I am also going through a bad time in my life at the moment. (Suicidal thoughts & trying to act on them) I am on the AT RISK REGISTER, which my Psychiatrist, Therapist & GP have put me on.

I suffer from Manic Depression (Bipolar) Anxiety, Panic Attacks, among other things and fly off the handle at times, as you have noticed!

im sorry i was so callus i just get really bad anxiety when i read some of your replys about the pedophile thing becouse i suffer from ocd pure o pocd and im terrified of becoming a pedophile or have alread done something aweful and let me tell its a living hell not to be able to turn your mind off but i do realize that you have really tried to help alot of these ppl on here

Me & Scared didn't hit it off at first, but then he came to his senses & did something about his urges. I was very proud of Scared, and still am! I didn't understand Scared at first, yet, Then it was me who came to my senses and I hope I helped him, I like to think I did!

You will get very emotional with your pregnancy. Please don't worry! I am here for you and will try and help all I can, like the rest of them on this site. I just hope that I haven't blown your trust with my stupid actions?

Sorry again for the trouble that I caused you! Really!

[kaudio]

My thanks to anna and paula for sorting out their differences. The subject of pedophilia can raise some strong feelings and I believe that the members have shown a good deal of understanding.

As mentioned above, help, you are a good man who is also frank and forthcoming with your personal issues. I hope you will continue to post here as your thoughts are very welcome.

What are your thoughts regarding Allan's suggestion to seek a therapist to discuss some of the concerns you have raised with us?

[paula]

Thank you Kaudio, it's been long over due hasn't it?

[The_Voice]

I read this post and realized you said that Pedophillia is more common today.
Keep in mind I am not condoning or trying to justify what I'm about to say.

In present times people tend to let more of their personal feeling or beliefs out on the net, where it is considered safer. In my opinion Pedophillia is no more common now then it was 1000 years ago. Its just heard more, by the media and internet community. I would also wager that it is just as common as homosexuality, occurring about 10% of the time. Is this just perverse minds or genetics I don't know. One thing I know is that i know more non-active pedophiles then uncloseted homosexuals. Again I'm not condoning or trying to justify it, but you need to know that historically their have been allot of cases of what is considered Pedophillia today. The prophet Muhammad
took a 6year old bride. It is documented, that she was his favorite wife, and she was considered the Mothers of Believers. In my opinion, even though times may change, people don't, not as a whole anyway.

Last thing I will say is this, 1) Children should NEVER be harmed no matter what. 2) You may be attracted to a child, wrong or right, that doesn't mean you are or will become a child molester (which is wrong). That would be like saying because you like woman you may be a rapist. 3) any action agaisnt a child or anyone, forced or coerced is wrong and should be
punished to the full extent of the law.

Thank you, any questions or comments are welcome, regardless if you agree with me I will not judge or made to feel as if I'm being judged, for only God judges me.