I am concerned I may one day be a danger to my family.

[JE4316]

Just to start I shall give a little information about me.
I am in my early 30s and live in Wales, UK.
I work for an IT company and my job is repetetive and stressful.
I am married as of 3 years ago and have a dog.
My life sounds pretty normal but I have some worries about my own mental health.
All my life I have been, what many consider, cold and rather detached from those around me.
When I was younger I delighted in hurting animals and some of my pet mice and gerbils died because of it.
I also used to enjoy blowing up radio parts and setting small fires around my neighbourhood, nothing dangerous and always away from people and property but I did it most nights into my teens.
It has been years since I did anything like that but when we recently thought that we had mice in our loft I started to think of what things I could do to them.
Thankfully it turned out to be a bat and so the temptation was not there.
Also I find myself getting angry over the smallest of things and often fly off the handle and hit things (although I have never considering hitting a person).

My concern is that these are not good signs and, coupled with my total lack of feeling for any of my family and friends (apart from my wife who I love dearly) I think there may be something wrong with me?


Is there something I can do? Should I speak to my Doctor?

[finding my way]

Well it's a good sign that you recognize that these impulses could harm someone and that you don't want to reach that point. It's also good that you are reaching out for help. Something in you has feeling to be able to do that.

You might want to say more about how things were for you as a child & growing up. I'll bet your young self had a reason for thinking it was best not to feel. Maybe you are older and wiser now and can meet up with that part of you again and negotiate... convince it that you can handle having a few more feelings even if they aren't rosey.

[mscat]

I too agreee that it is a good sign that your recognizing these things inside of you.
yes, In my opinion, it would be a good idea to seek out professional help. To explore more why you are detatched and devoide of emotion. Why their is something in you that seeks pleasure in hurting animals. those things do need to be addressed so it does not escalate into more dangerous behavior in the future.

[soul-navig8r]

I'm curious about this... you say that you dont feel anything for your family members, but you love your wife dearly... can you talk more about that? and maybe what exactly it is that you feel differently about your fam vs. wife?

[paula]

Yeah I agree with soul-navig8r. It sound to me that you might of been treated unfairly some time throughout your childhood, by family members/friends? This is why you resent them so much, and by this you tend to harm the things that are yours?

Your wife is your wife and will never be yours to own. Meaning: That no-one gave you your wife, you found her yourself without any help from family/friends? I don't mean to be rude or anything but, none of us can look into the future and predict what is going to happen! Anything could happen like, a divorce etc (god forbid it) but you know where I'm coming from don't you?

[marie2370]

I came here looking for information about my husband. He has some similar characteristics of JE4316- can be extremely cold and unfeeling. He once told me that he didn't think he'd really be bothered if his parents died (parents who by all appearances he has a "normal" relationship with. He has also expressed concern in the past, that he worried he might be a "sociopath" because of his lack of feeling/empathy. Also very similar to JE-- he adores me- after 12 years of marriage I am realizing that his identity is WAY too wrapped up with mine. As Paula said, things change. As my eyes are opening to who he really is, I don't want to be with him anymore. And it's not going over real well! I guess my advice for JE is to deal with these issues and examine your relationship with your wife now, before she may pull away from you. I think you recognize you have issues you need to address-- do it before the relationship forces you to, when it may be too late for her to hang in there.