This is going to be a long blog so bare with me all and any comments are welcomed negative or positive doesn't matter. This might be my last blog. I'm not sure if I want to do it anymore it doesn't make me feel any better. But I do get my thoughts out. I've still be jumping on and off of social networks (myspace twitter and facebook) I'm currently off them. Well the thing is I use pics that aren't of me and request friends. Basically I'm pretending to be someone else online. Ummm it shameful....OMG...

Today I've been thinking negative and I've been stopping myself. It's so hard to actually stop myself from thinking negative stuff I think is so crazy. I mean i was beating myself up for no reason at all. I was telling myself how fat and ugly I am and none of that is true it was horrible and I was so angry at myself but I'm goign to stop it!!!!! I have the strenght I can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is 4am here and I just got off the phone with my cousin. She and I have our differences and usually I'm the one busting her chops. She's about to turn 16 and she's having sex, been arrested for shoplifting, smoking pot, drinking, sneaking out, and has severe anger issues. She couldn't sleep she suffers from insomnia like me and really bad dreams so since I work thirds and can talk on the phone all I want she calls when she wants. For some reason I don't get I'm the one she tells all this...

I hate taking pictures I think I'm that unattractive. I think people can see how depressed I am from my pictures. It's so retarded I dislike it I want to be able to just smile and be like ok with it. Now I don't think that'll ever happen. I avoid taking pictures. My phobia Idk its so strange but I like to dress nice and I will look in the mirror and think I'm pretty I do wish I was skinner but I think even than I would have an image problem Idk

Do you like poetry that is bad?
Would you like to get in on this fad?
Then add your lines to the jam
come one come all to the POETRY SLAM!
Back a little while ago Malign and I had a back and forth poetry slam going and I thought why not start again. The only rules we adhere to is keep it clean for the kiddies and have fun.


there is one thing I truly hate
well make that two it has a mate
this thing shows up in my yard
I'd...