Researching adults that have Imaginary friends

[Jules]

Hello there.

I'm not sure if anyone out there can help but I am a student scriptwriter and I trying to research my project.
It's about two adults aged around 30 who both have invisible friends.

I would like to hear from anyone who has an invisible friend and if there are any therapists I could talk to about this subject.

In my story I have one person who created an invisible friend from a traumatic experience (Her father dying) when she was eight and her invisible friend became a substitute for him and someone who will never leave her.
The other character created an invisible friend by being lonely and not having anyone to play with/ interact with. He relies on his invisible friend to deal with people and every social situation he encounters.

I would really really appreciate anyone out there who could tell me more about invisible friends.
Also if anyone has an imaginary friend I would love to hear about their experiences.
Also if there are any doctors that I could talk to/interview that would be amazing.
All of the above would would be gratefully appreciated.

I want to try to make my script as authentic as possible and I think research will perhaps make this possible.
Many thanks for your time in reading this.
It is as always much appreciated.

All the best,

Jules

[kaudio]

Hello Jules, welcome to the community and thank you for your interest. The FAQ does provide for the use of Community content regarding research by the scientific community, but does not specifically mention research for story writing purposes. Hopefully we can accommodate you in your efforts.

Nevertheless, this is a mental help community, so feel free to review the topics and pod casts available. Also, if you have any problems you wish to share, please do. The members here are all very supportive and helpful.

[mabear]

Hi Jules and welcome to the community. Your characters sound a lot like someone who may have Dissociative Identity disorder in which other personalities are created to help with the difficult situations that they are not able to deal with on their own. Try doing smae research in this area and you may find it very enlightening for your story.

[beaux]

Dear Jules, and other members.

I would be extremely interested in finding out more about whether imaginary friends in adults constitute a 'mental condition' or 'disorder'. I've been meaning to look into it for some time, and your post has prompted me.

My husband to be and I have been together for 4 very happy years. We have a very successful relationship. We're both 30. We're highly educated professionals, and lead a very good life.

Over these 4 years we've had a number of imaginary characters in our lives. Many have appeared and then disappeared, but some now are so interwoven with our everyday life that they have complete identities of their own - so much so that even friends have been introduced to them.

We have managed to create three distinct children - an older girl, middle boy, younger girl. they have completely unique and individual characters, voices, mannerisms, preferences, attitudes. They have their own friends, their own stories, their own hobbies. Sometimes the scenes in which they feature are in the future - we have created a narrative where we know what their future careers are.

Some of our childrens friends are also characters we enact - for example, our sons girlfriend is a movie star and his best friend is a deaf maths genius.

Our other seperate and regular character - an adult character, is a confused genderless geisha who aspires to be an actress, but is actually the home help. One of he/shes roles is to look after the children.

I can't overestimate how large a part of our lives these characters are. We sometimes discuss whether they would continue to be part of our lives once we have real children. We both truly love and look after these imaginary children - in fact, to us, they are totally real.

We have wondered what it all means, and any professional response or guidance, so I can read more about it would be most welcome.
Feel free to ask me any questions - I am now curious to find out how common this is, and what the meaning of it might be.

Best wishes, beaux

[nanniehall]

i'm 24 and i live alone and i feel like my imaginary friends are a way for me to talk things out and be honest because i can't relate to anyone. although i appear to be outgoing and fun, i actually prefer to be by myself because i don't feel comfortable anywhere. i have never dated anyone and after a drug problem, suicide attempt and rape, i figure no one will ever want me. so i have imaginary boyfriends who are ideal. i sit in my apt and am able to pour my heart out and they understand and say all the things i wish real guys would say. i'm ashamed of all my baggage and after years of therapists and trusting friends and getting hurt i finally have given up and no longer feel the need to try to relate to anyone and i dont want to burden anyone with all my trouble. even in car i talk out things to whichever guy i feel like talking that day. i bought one of those ear phone things but i dont use it for its intended purpose, its just so that people dont think im crazy if they see me talking with such enthusiasm to no one.sometimes i'm married, sometimes i'm in a relationship with someone tragic nad troubled. sometimes we have kids. i can tell him about why i can't have sex because it scares me because i was raped and he tells me its ok and that he will wait as long as i want. he's isn't weirded out by all the pills i have to take. he doesn't judge me for having a substance abuse problem. everytime i have started to date someone they get frustrated by my prudishness and i feel like i have so many secrets and if i tell anyone about whats really going on they wont understand and i dont want to feel vulnerable so i have imaginary friends who i stay up late talking to and laughing with. my boyfriend tells me im pretty and i feel better. sometimes i actually find myself looking forward to getting home to relax and talk to these people. this is my biggest secret. on the outside i'm normal. i hang out with my friends and i have a good job but no close friends. i have many aquaintances but no one close. i have been let down too much and i cant handle anymore sadness. my imaginary friends help me relax and i can be myself. they never let me down. i can cry and i can get mad around them. they say all the right things. i dont know what i would do if i couldn't talk about how i feel and they give me the time and the comfort. real people suck.

[malign]

Heh, well, as a real person, I guess I'm going to have to answer that one with care. ;-)

I'm sorry you were hurt so badly, nannie. I don't think there's anything "wrong" with having imaginary friends to talk to. I could hope that there might some day be something more fulfilling for you, but the choices are yours. For myself, the beauty of having "real" friends is that they often come out with things that I would never have thought of. That enriches me in too many ways for me to ever give it up.

[ASchwartz]

Hi Nanniehall,

Welcome to our real community of real friends. We are happy to have you here and hope you stay around.

It appears that you have experienced lots of trauma in your life. It is no wonder that you do not trust people. What I find reassuring is that you are reaching out to people once again even though you were hurt in the past. It is a good thing that you are here.

What happened in your past therapies that disappointed you so much? Can you tell us more about it? Please do so if you are willing to.

Again, welcome and a very warm welcome.

Allan

[nanniehall]

oh i was just trying to help out jules. it sounds like an interesting idea for a script. i like my coping fantasies. i have had about 9 different psychiatrists in my life and i just have a hard time being honest with them. i always feel like they're judging me. i mean psychologists, not psychiatrists. i see my psychiatrist every 3 months but its just for prescriptions. they always tell me to do things that don't help. like last time i confided to a doctor about my sexual assault, she just told me to write a letter to that person explaining how it made me feel. don't send it but just write it. a letter? it didn't help. i like my friends, real and fake. there are worse things than being alone. i don't trust the mental health community as much as i used to. you guys are sweet though